


Think of Me

by MsEnglish101



Category: American Actor RPF, Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst, Broadway, Developing Relationship, Disfigurement, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fear of Discovery, Getting to Know Each Other, Insecurity, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Past Violence, Pining, Protective Chris, Romance, Scars, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Some Humor, Theatre, Unconventional Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 72,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsEnglish101/pseuds/MsEnglish101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his hour of need, Chris Evans is saved by someone who will change his life and whose life he, in turn, will change...</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! In case you're wondering, I'm not abandoning my Someday series, it's just that this story had its genesis in a dream (of all things. I suffer from insomnia so when I do fall asleep, I fall hard and don't dream all that often). But this thing just popped into my head one night and has since demanded to be written.
> 
> A little background: this is totally based on the Broadway musical, The Phantom of the Opera. Years ago, when I was very young, I became obsessed with the show and was fortunate enough to see it with its original Phantom, Michael Crawford. To this day, I swear that performance was easily the most sensual, sexually charged performance I've ever seen (and Crawford is the only Phantom I've seen who totally pulled it off). I want to bring that sensuality and that sexual tension here because to this day, that performance still affects me. In this story, the roles are reversed and it's a woman in the Phantom's role, a woman under whose spell Chris falls (much the way Christine did with the Phantom - only my Phantom isn't a stalkerish homicidal maniac). In fact, Chris is the one who is going to do the pursuing, but let me not get ahead of myself. So come along...
> 
> Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams, leave all thoughts of the world you knew before  
> Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, And you'll live as you've never lived before...

Chris Evans, Broadway star.  According to his mother, Lisa, that phrase had a very nice ring to it.  He supposed it did, considering he never really thought he’d end up in a blockbuster Broadway musical, a musical co-written and co-produced by the legendary Stephen Sondheim and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.  Thanks to his close friendship with the show’s other big star, Josh Groban, and Lord Lloyd Webber’s youngest daughter’s rabid crush on both Groban and himself, Chris was called in, out of the freakin’ blue, for a private audition before the two masters themselves.  Hell, as surprised as he was by the invitation – that was a “who, me?” moment, if there ever was one – he sure wasn’t going to turn it down.  Not only would he spend the rest of his life kicking himself and enduring Groban’s sure-to-be-constant, “Are you kidding me, man?  You said no?” – Josh was not above making a nuisance of himself to the people he loved – the entire Evans family, his dad included, would bloody disown him.  So, Chris and Groban auditioned together and, admittedly, he was nowhere near Josh’s league but he had a good singing voice and definite stage presence.  Besides, Josh would be doing the majority of the singing – the show was about two brothers, a singer (Josh) and a doctor (Chris) who was musically inclined but always in his brother’s shadow, and the girl they both fell in love with.  It was the classic love triangle, Lloyd Webber and Sondheim style, which meant the music was soaring and beautiful and the drama and the humor biting and sly.

The show had been pretty much written with Josh and Chris in mind as the leads.  Being written by two of the biggest Broadway legends ever guaranteed it would be a huge success, bringing in the boy wonder with the big voice and the man who embodied Captain America guaranteed it would be a blockbuster.  Certainly all of Josh and Chris’ female fans would flock to the show.  In fact, the show was sold out five months in advance before they did their first preview.  Josh had signed up for an eight-month stint, with the option to either extend his run or come back to play the role whenever he had at least a month’s stretch of time.  Chris signed a six-month contract, given he had the time between finishing his work on his film _Gifted_ and starting the press tour for _Captain America: Civil War_.  He also had the option to return to the show for the occasional limited run.  He decided he would return to the role once he was done with the press tour – he could spend the summer on Broadway then take the end of September and all of October off before heading to Atlanta in November to start work on _Avengers 3 & 4_.  When he told Josh of his decision, Groban immediately extended his own run; they would leave the show together in mid-September.

So here he was, starring in a Broadway musical in a part that was written for him, working side by side with one of his closest friends, to whom he’d been introduced in late 2014 by Kat Dennings, a fellow member of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Josh’s girlfriend, and living with said close friend.  Josh owned a huge duplex apartment on the Upper West Side and told Chris, in no uncertain terms, that he’d set aside a room for Chris to use any time and for as long as he wanted.  Chris happily accepted.  Groban’s place was fantastic and big enough that they wouldn’t trip over each other or interfere with each other’s privacy.  This was particularly helpful whenever Kat was in town.  Chris was going through something of a dry spell in the romance department so there was no chance that both of them would be getting lucky at the same time, although Chris never felt awkward when Kat was around.  They were basically a little family of total goofballs who were crazy about each other.

One really frigid night in late January, Chris was in his dressing room at the Booth Theatre after the show.  Kat was in town and she and Josh begged him to join them for a late dinner.  Knowing that it had been a few weeks since the couple had last seen each other, Chris declined.  “You crazy kids need some well-deserved alone time so go on, get out of here.  I’ll see you guys in the morning.”  Kat squeezed the stuffing out of Chris, as did Josh, and they took off.  Chris, who’d been nursing a persistent and total pain in the ass headache all evening, decided to pop a couple of Advil and lie down for a few minutes before venturing out into the frigid weather, grabbing something to go from one of the restaurants on Eighth Avenue and cabbing it up to the duplex.

It was just supposed to be a quick ten-minute cat nap.  Chris awoke to the sound of knocking on his dressing room door, which Josh had left slightly ajar.  Groggily, he peered through the opening but, strangely enough, he didn’t see anyone in the hall.  He shrugged, thinking maybe he’d been dreaming the sound then shook his head gingerly and was pleased to find his headache had finally let up.  He checked his watch and let out a groan.  His ten-minute cat nap had turned into an almost ninety minute snoozefest.  It was now going on midnight.  Shit.  He got up, went into the bathroom to rinse out his mouth then set about packing up his stuff.  He heard knocking on his door again but this time it swung open slightly and the night guard, Greg, poked his head through the opening.  “Oh, hey, Mr. Evans!  You’re still here.  I was wondering why your door was open and the light was on, although that kind of thing’s been known to happen in this theatre,” he said with a smile.  The man, who Chris guessed to be around fifty-five or so, was a real sweetheart, as pleasant and jovial as they came.  He’d been the theatre’s night guard for over twenty years and was well loved by cast and stage crew alike.

Chris smiled at Greg.  “Do you mean to tell me this theatre is haunted?” he asked in mock horror.

“Well, what theatre on Broadway worth its salt _doesn’t_ have a ghostie or two?” Greg replied with a grin.  Chris laughed.  “So what are you doing here so late, Mr. Evans, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’d had a headache since early this afternoon.  After I got rid of Josh and his girlfriend, I popped a couple of Advil and decided to lie down for a few minutes then go out and get dinner and head home.  That was almost an hour and a half ago.”  Chris shrugged into his North Face jacket then pulled on his knitted watchman’s cap and thermal lined leather gloves.  He wrapped a scarf around his neck then slung his duffel bag over his shoulder.  “Think I can find a restaurant around here I can get some take out from even at this hour?”

“Oh, sure,” Greg said as he stepped aside to let Chris out of the room.  The guard shut off the light and closed the door behind them.  “Lots of places along Eighth Avenue serve food until one or two in the morning.  You have plenty of time to get something to eat, Mr. Evans.”

“Great, thanks.”

Greg escorted Chris to the stage door.  “Good thing you’re all bundled up, Mr. Evans.  It sure is frosty out there.”

“Yep but I’m a Boston boy.  I can handle it.”  He winked at the guard.

“You’re young, strong and healthy.  You probably won’t even feel it!” Greg said with a laugh.

“Oh, now, I don’t know if I’d go _that_ far,” Chris protested with a chuckle, “at least not without a few beers in me.”  He pushed open the stage door, letting in a blast of bitterly cold air.  “Well, goodnight, Greg.  Stay warm.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Evans.  Home safe.”

“You, too.”  Chris slipped out into the famous Shubert Alley and stood there for a moment as he listened to Greg close and lock the door.  He looked around.  Well, Junior’s Restaurant was still open but it looked practically deserted.  Not surprising on a night like this.  He could always run in there but was he in the mood for Junior’s?  Nah, not tonight.  He wasn’t quite sure what he was in the mood for.  He decided to walk to the other end of Shubert Alley, to Forty-Fourth Street, and hang a right.  That would take him past the Majestic Theatre which housed _The Phantom of the Opera_ , which had been playing for almost thirty years, making it Broadway’s longest running show.  That was the first Lloyd Webber musical he’d ever seen and he loved it.  He liked walking past the theatre, enjoying the thought that he was now working for the genius responsible for _Phantom_.  If he remembered correctly, he and Josh had discovered a cool Irish pub around the corner from the Majestic, on Eighth.  He could go for some stick-to-your-ribs pub grub on this unrelentingly cold night.  And, hey, there was that sushi place on the corner of Forty-Fifth although he wasn’t sure he wanted to try his luck with sushi at this hour of the night.  He looked around again.  Even around midnight, Times Square and the surrounding theatre district was always buzzing with life but tonight…the area was dead.  It was just too damn cold and windy to be out wandering the streets.  He turned to his right and started down the Alley.  He never heard the four men who came up behind him.

Chris let out a startled gasp as he was grabbed from behind.  He felt his duffel bag being ripped from his shoulder.  He made a grab for it only to be told, “Give it up, man.  Four against one, the odds sure as shit aren’t in your favor.”  Chris’ fight or flight instinct immediately kicked in; he was going to fight.  After all, what good was all that fight training he received for the Avengers and Cap movies if he couldn’t actually use it?  He broke free of the arms that gripped him from behind and came around swinging.  He clocked one guy on the jaw then managed to land a well-placed kick to another.  But as those two staggered back, the other two took their places.  Chris felt a punch connect with his jaw.  He went back a step or two but managed to side step a kick aimed at his ribs.  He might not have felt it too badly, though, given the thickness of his jacket.  He took another swing at the asshat coming at him when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something really weird.  A figure, dressed all in black and completely unrecognizable as either male or female, was taking on the other two assailants…and was soundly kicking their asses.  Unfortunately, because of his momentary distraction, he was too late to side step the guy charging at him.  He was tackled hard and hit the ground with a jarring thud, his head connecting solidly with the pavement.  The last thing Chris heard before everything went black was a distinctly female voice crying out, “No!  No, no, no!”

 

Chris woke slowly, painfully.  His head was about to explode right off his shoulders.  If he thought that headache he’d had earlier was a pain in the ass, this one was a career ender.  And his ribs, Jesus Christ.  If the guy that tackled him ever decided to give up his life of crime, he’d have a definite future with the New England Patriots’ defensive line.  Shit, oh shit, he was in such pain.  He wondered if his ribs had been broken.  Wouldn’t that be a bitch?  He’d have to take a leave from the show for a few weeks while they healed and that would probably take him right into the press tour for _Civil War_.  Damn it.  He was having the time of his life in this show.  He’d hate to have to leave it until he absolutely had to.

Chris was so busy cataloging his owies and worrying about the show that it didn’t immediately occur to him that he wasn’t cold and that he wasn’t lying on the freezing pavement that asswipe had slammed him down onto.  He moved his hand slightly.  His outerwear appeared to be gone and he was lying on some kind of bed.  Was he in the hospital?  He struggled to quiet his noisy brain and listen to his surroundings.  There was an almost total absence of sound.  There were no hushed voices of hospital staff, no steady beeps of patient monitoring equipment, no nothing.  He decided to open his eyes although he knew nothing good would come of that.  The bright hospital lights would most likely sear a hole right through his corneas into his brain.  But he had to see, he had to know where he was.  He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a shadowy darkness, the kind you find in a room that is lit by…candlelight.  He gingerly turned his head, groaning as bolts of pain shot through the back of his skull.  It _was_ candlelight.  There were dozens of tall, fat pillar candles arranged around the part of the room he could see.  It was a large room, that much he could tell.  But where was this room?  And how the hell did he get here?

An overwhelming sense of fear and panic swept through Chris and he tried to sit up.  His efforts were rewarded with a blinding pain in his ribcage and a sudden, intense feeling of nausea.  He let out a hoarse scream, first from the pain then from the shock of feeling two hands grabbing his shoulders from behind him.

“Mr. Evans, please, be easy,” came a quiet, softly accented voice.  The voice of a woman.  The voice of the woman he heard yelling just before he passed out.  “Please, Mr. Evans, lie back.  Nothing good can come from you sitting up right now.  Come, lie back, rest easy.  That’s it,” she said as she exerted gentle pressure on Chris’ shoulders and slowly pushed him back down on the bed.

"Oh, God,” he whimpered as tears leaked from his eyes.  She was right; sitting up was a _very_ bad idea.  “Wha-what happened?  Where am I?” he croaked.  “And who…who are you?”  Soft fingertips settled on his temples and began a gentle massage.  In moments, Chris felt calmer and he closed his eyes.  She continued to massage his temples for a few long moments then spoke.

“You were attacked by four men in Shubert Alley, just as you had started to walk away from the Booth Theatre’s stage door.  You did your best to fight them off but one of them managed to catch you by surprise and tackle you to the ground.  You hit the pavement quite hard; your head smacked against the concrete.  You have a nasty cut on the back of your scalp; it took five stitches to close it.  You left behind quite the bloodstain.”

“Who stitched me up?”

“I did,” the woman answered, a trace of amusement in her voice.  “I had rather extensive medical training…in another life…” she said, her voice trailing off.

Chris knew that he would be pursuing that statement in the near future but for now, he was more interested in finding out where he was.  Before he could open his mouth, she continued.  “I joined the fight.  I couldn’t let you try to take on all those men by yourself.  I’ve had some martial arts training so there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I should join the fray.”

“You were kicking some serious ass, ma’am.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…and that’s how my stupid ass got tackled.”

“I’m sorry I distracted you, Mr. Evans.  But the two that you were up against were the largest of the four men.  As good a fight as you were putting up, if one hadn’t taken you down, the other would have.  I don’t think they expected you to come out swinging so they were angry and were determined to hurt you, one way or the other.”

“What happened to them?”

“When the one who tackled you saw you pass out then saw the spreading bloodstain under your head, he and his thug friend panicked and ran off.  They were so sure they’d killed you that they even left your duffel bag behind.  I have it here.”

“What about the other two guys?  I know you were kicking the shit out of them.”

“Yes, well,” she said, sounding both flattered and embarrassed.  “Let’s just say one of them will be taking his meals through a straw for the foreseeable future…and the other may need surgery to remove his gonads from his throat.”

“Oh, my God, please, don’t make me laugh!” Chris gasped, struggling against the urge to bray with laughter.  He did, however, smile and the woman’s fingers, which were still massaging his temples, faltered for a moment then resumed the massage.  Christopher Evans had the most enchanting smile she’d seen in a very long time.  It was…breathtaking.

“Apologies, Mr. Evans.  In no way do I wish to cause you any pain.  Well, any _more_ pain.”

"No, please, you don’t have to apologize for anything.  What you did…that was amazing.  You saved my life.”

“Well, that’s a wee bit dramatic, isn’t it?  You were doing a fairly good job of saving yourself.  The odds were just…decidedly lopsided, let’s say.”

“We can argue about this when I’m back up to speed but I owe you a huge debt of gratitude and I intend to pay up, Miss…?”

She hesitated for a moment then said softly, “Erika, my name is Erika.”

“Erika.  That’s nice.”

“Thank you.”

“So, Erika, where am I and how did you get me here?”

“You’re in the lowest level underneath the Booth Theatre.  This room is used mostly to store very old props from past productions.  People rarely come down here, which suits me just fine.”  Chris frowned at that statement but Erika laid her soft, warm hand against his brow and said quietly, “Relax, Mr. Evans.  While I don’t believe you have a skull fracture, you may have a concussion.  You must try to stay relaxed otherwise that rather spectacular headache I imagine you have is only going to get worse.”

“My head feels better since you started massaging my temples.”

“Good, I’m glad to be of service.”

“How did you get me down here without anyone seeing you, us?”

“Somehow or other, Gregory heard the commotion in the Alley and came out just as I was…finishing up.  He helped me pick you up and bring you down here.  He also held you while I sutured your cut.”

"So, Greg knows you.  Are you a member of the stage crew?  I must have seen you before…”

“No,” she said quickly.  “No one has seen me…unless I allow myself to be seen.  And I only rarely do that.”

“What?  What are you talking about?”

“Mr. Evans…”

“Chris.”

“What?”

“Chris.  It’s my name, as opposed to Mr. Evans?  Your name is Erika – and I really do like that name, by the way – and my name is Chris.  We good with that?”

“I really would rather not…”

“My name is Chris.  Come on,” he wheedled her as best he could considering all the pain he was in, “my name is Chris.  Say it with me.  Chris.  Come on, Erika, say it with me.  Chris.”

Despite herself, Erika smiled.  It had been a long time since anyone besides Gregory had made her smile.  “Christopher,” she said dutifully.

“Hey, I prefer Chris.”

“And I prefer Christopher.  Deal with it.”

He gave another one of those beautiful smiles.  “Well, ma’am, yes, ma’am!  I love a woman who knows what she likes.”

She remained quiet, her breath caught in her throat, her fingers trailing over his temples and down the side of his face then back up to his hairline.  He sighed.  “God, that feels good.”  He fell silent for a long moment, enjoying the peace he felt as Erika stroked his face.  “Erika,” he said at last, “why are you down here?”

“You really should stop talking, Mr. Ev…I mean, Christopher.  You’ve only been asleep for a little over an hour or so.  That’s not much of a rest.  Given that we don’t know how bad your concussion is, or how badly your ribs are bruised…”

“You don’t think they’re broken or fractured?”

“No, I don’t believe they are.  I think we have your heavy jacket to thank for that.  They _are_ bruised, however, due to how hard you were tackled and how very hard you hit the pavement.  They will mostly likely need to be taped up but you should be feeling yourself again within a week or so.  It means you’ll have to miss at least a week’s worth of performances but it really could have been much, much worse.”  She pulled her hands away from Chris’ temples and took a step back.  She had been careful that he not see her at all.  She pitched her voice to sound brisk and professional.  “I’ll ring for Gregory.  He’ll come down here to collect you and put you up in your dressing room.  It’s only two thirty in the morning so no one has really had time to miss you.  Gregory told me that Mr. Groban and his girlfriend were having a night out.  I heard you tell Mr. Groban and Miss Dennings that you’d see them in the morning.”

“You heard…?” Chris began but Erika spoke over him.  “The story we came up with – and this is entirely subject to your approval – is that you were attacked and hurt while trying to defend yourself.  Gregory heard the commotion and went out to see what was happening.  He intervened on your behalf.  He got you back into the theatre and put you in your dressing room.  He administered first aid and sutured your cut since he was once an army medic and knows what he’s doing.  You came to at one point and asked him not to call 911, to just let you rest but since he’d seen how hard you hit your head and how much pain you are in, he decided to override your decision and call an ambulance.  That is the story; you must stick to it.”

“Erika, it was you who saved me, not Greg.  I mean, I absolutely appreciate his help but you should be taking the credit for this.  Why won’t you…?”

“No one is to know that I’m down here, that I even exist!” she said sharply, angrily.  “You said you owe me.  Well, this is the way I want you to repay me, Christopher.  Do not speak a word of this, any of this.  Stick to the story Gregory and I came up with.  Please,” she said, her voice softening again, “please, do as I ask, Christopher.”

“Erika, I want to know why.  Why are you down here?  Do you live here?  Who are you?  I want to understand what’s going on.”

“In due time, Christopher.  You’re badly hurt and that, for me at least, is the priority.  Let’s get you to a hospital, get you checked out, and when you return to the theatre, I promise, I will find you and…we’ll talk.  Now just isn’t the time.  You’re hurt…and I’m not ready.”

“Will you at least let me see you?  Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve stayed out of my line of sight all this time.”

At this, Erika had to smile.  “Handsome, talented, smart, _and_ observant.  Be still my heart.”

“Erika, this isn’t funny.”

“No.  No, it isn’t.  Please stay as you are.  The less you move around, the better.  Don’t move until Gregory comes to fetch you.  Stick to the story and let the proper medical personnel tend to you.  Please ask Mr. Groban to update Gregory on your condition.  That will make perfect sense since everyone will believe that Gregory helped you.  He, in turn, will keep me apprised of what’s happening with you.  I’ll know when you return to the theatre.  I know every nook and cranny in this place.  Do you know that Gregory calls me O.G.?”

“O.G.?  As in…”

“Opera Ghost.  I was the one who woke you up earlier when you fell asleep in your dressing room.  I was the one who knocked on your door.  I can come and go as I please in this place.  For all intents and purposes, I am the phantom of the Booth Theatre.”

And then it hit him.  Why she was in black from head to toe when she came to his aid.  Why she lived in the basement of an old Broadway theatre.  Why she didn’t allow herself to be seen.  Why she stayed out of his line of sight this whole time.  Why she called herself Erika.  She was the female version of Gaston Leroux’s Erik, the original Phantom of the Opera.  “Erika?” he said softly.

Her voice came back to him faintly.  She must have moved to the other side of the cavernous room.  “Gregory will be down in a few moments to get you.  Feel better, Christopher.  Stay safe.”

“I _will_ look for you, Erika.  I _will_ find you.  _I will see you_.”

“No, my dear Christopher…it is _I_ who will find _you_.”  Her voice faded away completely.

A few minutes later, Greg the night guard stepped off the freight elevator and came into the room.  He walked towards Chris.  “Let me help you up, Mr. Evans.  That was a really nasty hit you took; that gash on the back of your head is just as nasty.  Once I get you up, just lean on me, I can take your weight, no problem.”

It took some doing but they finally got Chris upright and they slowly made their way onto the elevator, the guard grabbing Chris’ duffel along the way.  Greg was able to operate it one handed; his other arm was full of weak and dizzy Chris.  As the elevator slowly made its way to the main level, he told Chris that his outwear was in his dressing room.  “Erika got you out of all that stuff.  She wanted to have a look at you in better lighting than what she has down here.”

Chris licked his dry lips.  “Greg,” he began.

“No, Mr. Evans, please don’t ask me about Erika.  Her story is hers to tell, not mine.  I’m the only one who knows she exists…well, not anymore, I guess.  But I’m sure she asked you to keep her secret.”

“She did.”

“Please do so, Mr. Evans.  She’s a good kid who’s had a lot of bad stuff happen to her.  She doesn’t have anything or anyone in this world except this theatre…and me.”

 _And now she has me_ , Chris thought.  This woman intrigued him like no other ever had.  Her story had to be tragic if she was forced to take up residence in a theatre basement with no one but a nice, and truly loyal, security guard as a friend.  Well, now she had two friends.  This woman saved his life, whether she wanted to admit it or not.  He owed her.  He wanted to help her.  And he would.

Greg got Chris back into his dressing room then called 911.  Chris gave the guard Josh’s cell number and had him call his friend to tell him what had happened and ask Josh and Kat to come to the hospital.  Josh was the Bucky to Chris’ Cap: they were like brothers; he knew Josh would come just as he would if Josh asked it of him.

The paramedics made good time getting to the theatre to attend to Chris.  From the shadows, Erika watched and listened as Chris and Greg told their doctored version of the truth.  As Chris was placed on the gurney and rolled down the hall towards the stage door, he slowly turned his head, his brilliant blue eyes looking right towards where Erika stood just inside the darkened doorway of one of the dressing rooms.  She gasped softly.  How did he know she was there?  She felt her heart race.  She knew he couldn’t actually see her but he could sense her presence.  That was thrilling and frightening all at once.  No one else could ever sense her, only Gregory, but he’d had more than five years to become used to her.  Chris had only known of her existence for less than three hours.  This could be trouble.  _He_ could be trouble.

Erika didn’t quite know what to do with that.


	2. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the darkness of the night before, her concern for Chris pushes Erika to come into the light...

“Oh, my God, Chris, you could have been killed!”  Kat Dennings, her eyes red from the tears she couldn’t seem to hold back, sat next to Chris’ hospital bed and rubbed the hand she kept trapped between both of hers.  On his other side, Josh Groban leaned on the bed rail, his entire body tense, his eyes worried as he nodded in agreement with his girlfriend’s statement.

“I’m fine, guys, really.  A few bruised ribs, a nasty cut on the back of my head, and the concussion from hell, but I’ll be okay.  The doctor said I might be able to go home tomorrow, as long as I don’t keep having dizzy spells.  Those are the worst; make me feel like puking.  Ugh.”  He was about to roll his eyes then thought better of it.  “Kat, please, stop crying, honey.  I’m gonna be okay.”

“Maybe next time you won’t be so stubborn and come to dinner with us when we ask you to!” she declared tearfully.  “This would have never happened if you had just come with us!”

Chris turned pleading eyes towards Josh.  “Josh, man, please tell Kat to calm down.  She’s going to make herself sick.”

Josh shook his head as he straightened up and walked around the hospital bed to place his hands on Kat’s shoulders and massage them gently.  “Kat, sweetheart, it’s all right.  Chris is gonna be fine.  No less a stubborn pain in the ass, but fine.  Think of all the fun you’ll have playing nursemaid to him for the rest of this week.”  To Chris he said, “She’s one hundred percent right, you know.  You should have just come to dinner with us.  Kat and I would have had plenty of alone time once we got home.  This all could have ended a hell of a lot more tragically.  My blood ran cold when Greg the Guard called me.  Losing you would be like losing my brother Chris.  If you didn’t have a concussion and that nasty cut, I’d damn sure be smacking you in the back of the head.”

“Aw, Josh,” Chris said with a smirk, “I didn’t know you cared.”

“You’re asking for it, Evans,” Josh growled, yet there was a hint of a smile playing about his lips.

“Hey, that’s right!” Kat exclaimed suddenly.  “I get to play nursemaid while you’re home this week, Chris.”  Her tears immediately dried up and she gave him what could only be described as an evil smile.  “I see a lot of home-cooked meals in your future!”

Chris cringed inwardly.  Kat was a wonderful girl and one of his all-time favorite people but a world-class cook she was not.  And she knew it.

“That’s a really sweet offer, Kat, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to handle the cooking duties,” came a voice from the doorway.  Kat, Josh and Chris looked over and saw a pale but smiling Lisa Evans standing there, a worried-looking Scott Evans hovering behind her.

“Lisa!” Josh cried as he rushed over to hug the woman he’d come to think of as his second mom.  He buried his face in her hair then kissed her cheek.  He relinquished her into Kat’s waiting arms as he turned to share a hug with Scott.  Kat gave Lisa a tight squeeze then led her over to Chris’ bed.  She then turned and pounced on Scott.

Lisa gently touched Chris’ jaw, which sported a bruise from the punch he’d taken the night before.  She leaned down and pressed a kiss against his forehead as he reached up to take her hand.  “How are you, baby?” she asked softly.

“I’ve got a killer headache and I’ve already had to tell Groban three times to not make me laugh because my ribs hurt like hell, but I’m fine, Mom.  It’s good to see you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s good to be seen.  I’ve been worried sick ever since Josh called.”

“I’m gonna be good as new in about a week, Mom, the doctors said so.”

“Okay, big bro, you wanna tell us how you wound up in here, looking like you’ve had your ass handed to you?” Scott asked, deftly side-stepping an elbow from his mother.  He didn’t quite avoid the hard swat he got from Kat, though.

Chris patiently went through the story again, purposely glossing over the more brutal details of the attack, all the while wishing he could tell them about the amazing woman who stepped in and saved his life.  Erika.  _Erika_.  Damn it, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.  She was a total mystery to him…and God, didn’t he love a good mystery.

“So, a week of bedrest, then?” Lisa asked.

“Yeah,” Chris said with a sigh.  “I’m really going to miss being in the show.”  Kat opened her mouth to say something but Josh gave her a not-too-subtle nudge.  “I should be back in time for next Wednesday’s matinee.”

“Well, when will you be sprung from here?” Lisa asked.

“Tomorrow, if the dizzy spells subside,” Chris answered.

Lisa nodded then turned to Josh.  “Got room for two more, sweetie?”

Before Josh could answer, Chris said, “Oh, hey, Mom?  Let me put you and Scott up at a hotel near Josh’s place.  I mean, he’s got Kat visiting and everything…”

“Oh, shut up, Evans!” Josh snapped at Chris.  He turned to Lisa and said, “Of course you and Scott can stay at my place, Ma.  What kind of surrogate son would I be if I didn’t offer you a place to stay?  There’s plenty of room and Kat doesn’t mind, do you, babe?”

Kat grinned at everyone.  “Of course not!  It’ll be fun.  Lisa and I can do girl stuff while Scott babysits Chris.”

“Hey!” Scott exclaimed but was completely ignored.

“Great, it’s settled then,” Josh said.  “Where are your bags, Ma?”

“Downstairs in the rental car,” Lisa answered.  She turned back to Chris.  “These dizzy spells…do they come on you often?”

“Every few hours or so.”

“Kat and I have been here for the past two hours and he hasn’t had one,” Josh told Lisa.

“Well, he _was_ sleeping for the first hour we were here,” Kat put in.

“That’s because they finally let me start getting some sleep around nine this morning!” Chris exclaimed.  “Between the cat scan and the x-rays and the bandaging of my ribs and the back of my head, I couldn’t relax long enough to take a five-minute nap.”  He leaned his head back against his pillows.  “Thank God they let Josh hang with me the majority of the time.  I probably would have gone nuts.”  He looked at Josh.  “Thanks, man.”

“No thanks are needed, bro.” Josh patted Chris’ leg.

“Were you here last night, too?” Scott asked Kat.  She shook her head.  “No, Josh asked me to stay home and I thought that would be best.  Josh was who he needed at that moment.”

“Well, thank you both for going out of your way for my boy,” Lisa told Josh and Kat.  She looked at Chris.  “You’ve got some pretty special friends, Chris.”

“Yep, they’re the best of the best,” he said as he attempted a stretch.  He let out a yelp when his ribs protested strenuously and abandoned the idea.  This was going to be a truly miserable week but, at least he had people around who really loved him…and who he really loved to annoy.  Hey, he had to entertainment himself somehow.

 

Erika sat at the old ornate desk that had once been a prop in one of the early productions at the Booth Theatre.  In front of her were the late morning editions of the Daily News and The New York Times.  She’d ventured upstairs and pilfered them from the break room the stagehands used.  She never bothered with the New York Post – that was only good for paper training puppies, as far as she was concerned.  She saw that the news of Christopher’s mugging made the front pages of both papers; _Captain America KO’d!_ screamed the headline of the Daily News – how bloody original.  The Times story, located below the fold, ran with a typically more sedate headline, _Actor Chris Evans Hospitalized for Injuries Sustained During Mugging_.  Both were a tad short on details; she wondered if Christopher’s publicist had anything to do with that.  Most likely.  Both stories recounted, almost word for word, the explanation Christopher and Gregory gave the paramedics.  Good.  The less this was dwelled upon, the better.  What she needed now was an update on his condition.  Mr. Groban had been good about calling Gregory and telling him that, as she had predicted, Christopher had a concussion that was not quite mild but was not as severe as it could have been, given the circumstances, and several badly bruised ribs.  He could be discharged tomorrow, provided the dizzy spells stopped.  If allowed enough rest today, they would probably be gone by late evening.  Her diagnoses were usually spot on.  She was good… _had_ been good…at what she did.  Or at least what she used to do in her other life.

She got up from the desk and walked over to the bed Christopher had occupied less than ten hours ago.  She ran her hand over the quilt he’d lain upon as she thought about how his smile seemed to light up this dark room, this self-imposed prison she lived in, the only place in the world she felt she could ever be safe.  Of course, now that she could get her hands on all sorts of costumes and theatrical makeup, she would make the occasional foray out into the real world, but never for more than an hour, two at most, and usually in the two hours before and after the curtains rose and fell all along the theatre district, when the streets were their most crowded and she could easily blend in with the throngs of people scurrying to make their dinner reservations or get to the meeting places for their theatre groups.  She enjoyed those little excursions but then she would see something or someone that reminded her of the worst day of her life and she would fight down the bile and the panic that clawed its way up her throat as she dialed up Gregory on the burner cell phone he’d given her and told him to leave the stage door unlocked for her.  She’d slip into the theatre unseen then disappear into her basement, her dark and lonely lair, where there was almost always a glass of good Irish whiskey waiting for her.  God bless Gregory; what would she ever do without him?

Erika looked down to where her hand still laid on the quilt.  Christopher Evans.  A devastatingly handsome man, if there ever was one, and a genuinely good man, as well.  She’d seen and heard him interact with the theatre staff and with the lucky fans who got to meet him backstage.  He was kind and respectful to everyone, particularly to Gregory, and even to those pushy theatre matron types who were much too old to be making fools of themselves over him.  But, Erika thought with a small smile, could she really blame them?  He was – what did Mira used to say? - ah, yes, the total package.  Looks, talent, intelligence, and tons of charm.

He’d come to her attention through his films.  There was electricity down here – it was part of the theatre, of course – but she used it sparingly, fearful that someone might take it upon themselves to investigate spikes in usage and figure out that someone was using the often forgotten lower basement.  However, she did allow herself a movie night every week whenever there was a production upstairs – the whole place was lit up so what was a little extra juice to run her laptop?  Gregory was a big movie buff and he would often bring her DVDs he thought she’d enjoy.  One night he arrived with a movie based on his favorite childhood superhero, Captain America.  He often spent his dinner hour with Erika, so he offered to watch the film with her.  Since he was also an amateur World War II historian, _Captain America: The First Avenger_ was a particular favorite of his.  After taking one look at Christopher’s face, even as “Skinny Steve,” the film became a favorite of hers, as well.  Gregory eventually bought her a copy of her own since she seemed reluctant to part with his.  She casually asked him if the young man who played Captain America had ever made any other films.  Erika didn’t dare overuse the theatre’s WiFi, again out of fear of discovery, so she only sporadically surfed the internet and relied on Gregory to answer her occasional queries.  A few days later, Gregory arrived with copies of _The Fantastic Four_ , _The Fantastic Four and The Rise of the Silver Surfer, Push, The Nanny Diaries, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond,_ and _The Losers_.  He’d wanted to bring her _Street Kings_ , a film he’d enjoyed and that Chris Evans was actually quite good in but he thought it would be much too violent for her, given all that she’d been through in her life.  Delighted to see that he had indeed made more films, Erika marathoned her way through the six DVDs and found herself harboring the first crush she’d had in many, many years.  It was foolish and girlish and, God, didn’t it feel wonderful?

Wise to the fact that his reclusive friend was seriously crushing on Chris Evans, Greg made it a point to get his hands on whatever DVDs he could find in which Chris was featured.  He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw her reactions to Chris’ nudity in _What’s Your Number?_ and she demanded that he explain everything he knew about Marvel Comics and its stable of superheroes right before they sat down to watch _The Avengers_.  He watched her cry during Cap’s brutal fight with the Winter Soldier on board the doomed helicarrier in _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_ and damn near swoon over Evans during the last scenes of _Playing It Cool_.  For her birthday, he surprised her with a box set of the Phase One Marvel movies (a concept he’d had to explain to her).  He got a kick out of the fact that she was now a rabid fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  The films gave her joy, something that was in way too short supply in her lonely life.

In May of 2015, right around the time _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ came out, it was announced that Stephen Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber had collaborated on a new musical.  The theatre world was abuzz with the news; they knew for certain Broadway was going to have another major blockbuster on its hands.  A few weeks later, Greg came downstairs during his dinner hour and dropped a copy of _Backstage_ magazine on her lap.  When she looked up at him in question, he simply said, “Page ten.”  She flipped over to that page and there it was.  The leads to the new Sondheim/Lloyd Webber show were set.  Singer/actor Josh Groban – a man whose music she enjoyed – and…Captain America himself, Chris Evans.  Really?  Not only was the object of her affections a good actor but he could sing and play instruments as well?  Greg thought she was going to pass out from sheer delight.  Although she would probably never get to meet him face to face, she knew her way around this theatre and would find ways of being close to him without him ever knowing she was there.  Who knew that almost three months into his run with the show, she would be the one to save his life?

 

It was early evening, just before the beginning of his shift, when Greg came downstairs to say hello to Erika and found her seated on her bed, wearing a white lab coat, dark blue surgeon’s scrubs and running shoes, her wool coat and tinted glasses lying next to her.  She had on a wig of light brown hair which was styled in a long pageboy, the bangs of which were swept to the right, perfectly covering a good portion of that side of her face.  It was obvious that she’d spent hours working on the makeup she was wearing.  She was almost unrecognizable; she looked almost…normal.

“Erika?  What’s this?”

“I…thought I would…venture out.  It’s been awhile since my last foray into the real world.”

“You were just outside last night, saving Mr. Evans’ butt.  That wasn’t real world enough for you?”  Bless his heart, Gregory did worry about Erika.

She looked away from him for a moment then returned her gaze to his, her hazel eyes – light brown tonight, reflecting the color of the wig – clear but troubled.  “Have you heard anything else today?”

Greg knew what she was talking about.  “Mr. Groban isn’t working tonight.  His understudy is going on for him.  I heard he called in and said he wanted to stay with Mr. Evans at the hospital tonight.  He said Mr. Evans was doing better but Mr. Groban just wants to keep an eye on him.  If I didn’t know better, I would swear those two were brothers by blood and not just best friends.”

“Christopher loves Joshua and vice versa.  Theirs is a wonderful friendship…and they make a pretty formidable pair onstage.”  For the first six weeks of the show’s run, Erika never missed a performance.  She cut back to three shows a week in fear that she’d get careless and be seen.  “I need to see him, to check on him myself.  I feel…responsible towards him.  I know that sounds weird but…”

“But you did save his life.  I get that, Erika, I understand, really, but do you actually think it’s wise to simply waltz into a hospital and just head up to the room of someone so high profile?”

“Who’s going to stop me, Gregory?  I know that hospital like the back of my hand, like I know this theatre.  I used to work there, remember?  I’ll be in and out before they even realize anyone’s been there.”

“And what if either Mr. Evans or Mr. Groban tries to engage you in conversation?”

“I’ll speak with them for a moment then excuse myself to continue on my ‘rounds.’  I’m disfigured, Gregory, not brain-dead.”  She stood and picked up her coat and glasses.  “Now, tell me, what’s the weather like outside?  Is it still as intolerably cold as it was last night?”

“Actually, the temperature went up about fifteen degrees and the wind died down so it’s not too awful outside.  You should wear a scarf and gloves, though.”

Erika nodded and walked over to the wardrobe, another stage prop from days gone by, and bent down to open one of the drawers.  She retrieved her scarf and gloves then pushed the drawer shut with the toe of her sneaker.  She came back to stand in front of Greg.  “I’ll wear the scarf on the inside of my coat.  I spent way too much time on this makeup job to have it ruined by some scratchy wool.”

Greg watched as Erika dressed herself for the cold weather.  “Are really sure you want to do this, Erika?”

She met his eyes.  “Yes.  Be a love and keep watch whilst I slip out?”

The older man grinned.  “Never did lose the British in your speech, huh?”

Erika raised her eyebrows, the left one going slightly higher than the right.  “Why would I lose that?  I was born and raised in England, remember?  I may live here now, voluntarily or involuntarily as the case may be, but I’ll always be British.  It’s been all that ‘stiff upper lip’ rot that’s helped me get through the last five years, dear Gregory.  That…and you.  What would I do without you?”

“If I don’t get back upstairs, you might find out.”  He turned towards the freight elevator, glancing over his shoulder to see if Erika was following him.  “Promise me you won’t be too long.”

“I won’t.  I just want to see for myself how he’s doing then, poof, I’m a ghost.”

Greg laughed.  “No pun intended, of course!”

“Shut up, Gregory,” Erika said as they boarded the elevator.

 

Her memory served her well.  Even though it had been close to six years since she’d last stepped foot in this hospital, Erika remembered perfectly how to get around without being noticed, a trick that had come in handy when one was trying to duck the head resident or the Director of Emergency Medicine.  With her lab coat and dark blue scrubs and her old stethoscope hung around her neck, her old hospital ID clipped, backwards, to the pocket of her top, and her arrival timed to coincide with the change of shift, Erika was able to get up to Chris’ floor with no problem.  She decided not to think about what that said about the hospital’s security.  As she walked down the corridor towards Chris’ room, she willed her heart to slow down and her breath to even out.  She wouldn’t be able to pull off this whole charade if she appeared nervous…or giddy.

The door to Chris’ room was open.  She paused just outside and took a couple of deep breaths.  Fortunately, the room was away from the nurses’ station so no one would see her lurking there.  She was about to step forward when Josh Groban stepped out of the room, a water pitcher in his hand.  She stopped short, willed herself to calm down then gave the handsome singer a smile.

“Oh, hey, doc,” Josh said with a smile of his own.  “Coming to check on the world’s worst patient?”

Erika chuckled.  Assuming her startlingly good American accent – one she used to practice whenever she and Mira hit the town way back when – she replied, “Oh, he can’t be that bad.  I have one patient who whines constantly about being hot and uncomfortable…then he flashes me ‘accidentally.’  I don’t have the heart to tell him that seeing his goods just makes me want to pile more blankets on him.”

Josh laughed.  “God, what you doctors have to put up with!  No, Evans is nowhere near that bad.  I’m just going to get him a refill,” he said, holding up the pitcher.  “He’s awake.  The dizzy spells seem to have stopped, thank God.  That’s the only thing that would keep him in here past tomorrow, right?”

“Barring any unforeseen problems.  His regular doctor will be able to tell you more.  I’m just covering for him while he tends to an emergency.”  Josh had told Gregory the name of Christopher’s attending so before she went upstairs, Erika called the nurses’ station from her burner phone to find out if the doctor was around.  Her luck continued to hold out when she was told that he had been called down to the emergency room.  No telling when he would come back up to this floor so she needed to make this visit quick.

“Well, he’ll be happy to hear that.  He’s going a little stir crazy.  And he’s thirsty so let me go get his water.  Thanks, doc.”  Josh gave her a grin and walked away.  Erika watched him for a moment then stepped into Chris’ room.

Chris was propped up in his bed, staring out the window.  The winter afternoon darkness had already started to fall but there was still enough light coming through the window to make his brilliant blue eyes appear large and luminous.  He turned his head towards the door when he heard Erika step in.  “Hi,” he said.  “I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before.  I’m Chris, but you already know that, don’t you?”  He grinned sheepishly.

“Yes, Christopher, I already knew that,” she said in her natural voice.  She watched as a look of shock then recognition settled over his face.

“Erika?” he asked softly.  “Is that you?  What are you doing here?”

“It is me and I came to see how you were.  I can’t stay long.  I rarely venture this far from the theatre but…I just had to come…see for myself how you were doing.  I…hope you don’t mind…?”

“What?  No!  Are you kidding?  I’m so happy to see you.  I can’t believe you’re here.”  He beckoned to her.  “Please, come closer.”

Erika slowly stepped over to the bed.  She watched as Chris’ eyes studied her intently.  She could see so many questions swirling in his gaze.  He stayed very quiet for a long moment then he finally spoke.  “I’m not looking at the real Erika right now, am I?  You’re wearing an awful lot of theatrical makeup.  Please, don’t get me wrong.  You look great; it looks completely natural…but that’s not really you.”

She shook her head.  “I stopped being really me more than five years ago, Christopher.  All I will allow anyone to see now is a false face…if I allow anyone to see me at all.”

“Does Greg get to see the real you?”  She nodded.  “What happened to you, Erika?  Why do you hide in darkness?  Why do you cover your face like that?”

“Now is not the time, Christopher.  I promised you I would explain it all and I will keep my promise.  But I can’t stay.  As I said, I just wanted to see how you were.  You look…better.”

“I feel better.  You were right about the concussion and the ribs.  You said you had medical training…?”

Erika glanced over her shoulder towards the door.  She needed to go.  She turned back to Chris.  “I was a doctor.  I did my internship and residency here.  That’s how I knew how to get up here unseen.”  She glanced over her shoulder again when she heard voices in the hall.  She started edging back from Chris’ bedside.  “I’ve stayed too long.  I have to go.”

“Erika, wait.”

“I can’t, Christopher.  Don’t you understand?  I have to go.”

“Erika, you don’t know what it means to me that you came here.”  Chris’ eyes bored into hers.  “Thank you.  Thank you for taking such a big chance to come see me.”

Affected by the emotion she saw in his eyes, Erika shrugged helplessly and turned towards the door.  When she reached the threshold, she peeked out and was relieved to find the hallway was empty.  Thank God.  She turned back to Chris and said quietly, “In five plus years, no one has ever made me venture out this far into the light, Christopher.”  She paused.  “But seeing for myself that you are okay…well, the trip was worth it.  Feel better, stay safe.  I’ll see you when you return to the theatre.”  With that, she disappeared into the hallway.

Chris leaned back against his pillows.  He felt as though he’d been tackled all over again.  He just couldn’t take in a deep breath; he was still in shock.  She’d been here.  She’d come to see him.  The mysterious woman who’d saved his life, the woman who hid herself because she obviously bore some sort of disfigurement, left the safety of the theatre just to check on him.  She took a huge chance to spend less than five minutes with him.  But they were the most significant five minutes he’d ever spent with anyone.  She came into the light for him.  That was huge, for both of them.  Chris felt humbled, excited, happy.  He smiled.

He was still smiling when Josh, followed by Kat, Lisa and Scott, returned to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this thing is practically writing itself. Many thanks to those of you who have come along for the ride. Hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think.
> 
> Cheers!


	3. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erika prepares for Chris' return to the theatre...

Erika’s concept of time occasionally became a bit skewed, given the fact that she lived in darkness and almost total solitude, but she was usually able to keep good track of the days and nights.  Having Gregory come down to visit before, during, and after his shifts was very helpful, of course.  Any time he took off from work was hard for her, naturally, but the man was a diligent and hard worker and deserved his time away from the theatre.  Normally, the passage of time was really of no consequence to a person who rarely ventured out into the world but the week between Chris’ mugging and his return to the theatre seemed interminable.  She was happy that she’d worked up the courage to go see him at the hospital; it was her only opportunity as God knows she wouldn’t be able to turn up on the doorstep of Josh Groban’s duplex on the Upper West Side to visit with him, although she suspected dear Christopher would have thrown open the door and asked her to come right in.  No, she had to wait for his return to the Booth and that, finally, would be tonight.

Last night, she’d asked Gregory to go out during his dinner hour and pick up two red roses for her.  She planned to leave one in Chris’ dressing room before he arrived, a little welcome back present.  The other one she planned to keep.  It had been a long time since she’d had a rose on her bedside table.  Oh, it wasn’t that she couldn’t afford such little indulgences, quite the contrary.  She came from several generations of doctors – their profession was jokingly referred to as the “family firm” – and they were all quite well off.  She’d come into the first of her trusts at twenty-one but she’d wisely invested it, unlike her younger sister who blew through her own trust within a year.  She received her second trust on her twenty-fifth birthday, just days before the…event, as she often referred to it.  She hadn’t had time to do anything with that money, really.  She’d run out of the house after her friend Mira without a second thought and that act of kindness had turned into the biggest nightmare of her life.  When Greg had found her, where she’d been pushed out of a moving car onto the sidewalk in front of the Booth Theatre, she was almost dead.  He had helped her and once she decided to go into hiding, she came up with a plan to get access to her money and transfer it all to a new account that would have Greg’s name on it.  She trusted the kindly guard who had literally saved her life and who’d been so instrumental in getting her back on her feet.  Erika didn’t know when – or if – she would ever resurface but she knew that she would need her money.  She couldn’t expect Gregory to purchase all of her necessities out of his own paycheck.

On the third day after he’d found her, she asked him if he’d seen anything in the papers or on the news about her and Mira’s disappearance.  He answered no.  She hadn’t been surprised in the least.  She did think, however, that this apparent lack of concern on the part of Mira’s family, with whom she’d been living, might work to her advantage; all she needed was Gregory’s help. 

The next day, Greg, wearing his best suit and his no nonsense cop face, appeared on the doorstep of Mira’s family’s home and informed them that he was a private detective hired by Erika’s family to find her.  He told them that Erika’s family had not heard from her in some time (not unusual, really, as she only called her family once or twice a month.  The relationship was a little strained after she decided to stay in the United States) and that they were extremely worried.  She knew this would effectively freak out Mira’s family, especially if they hadn’t filed missing persons reports on either of them as yet.  She instructed Greg to demand to see her room on the pretense of looking for something that might tell him where she’d gone.  She gave him a list of what she wanted from her room and where to find those items.  Among them was her driver’s license, her birth certificate, her work visa, her passport, and, of course, her bank cards and other financial paperwork.  Greg secured these items, hid them on various parts of his person (because, naturally, no one in Mira’s family went with him to her room – what utterly contemptuous people, Greg had thought to himself while he was there), headed back downstairs and announced that he found a couple of leads as to where Erika, and by extension, Mira, might have gone.  Erika had told him that this would light a fire under Mira’s family and would most likely result in a missing person’s report being filed.  They had less than forty-eight hours to secure her money before their disappearances hit the news.  Mira’s father was a prominent cardiologist, one of those “doctors to the stars” (but a miserable human being when it came to his family), and once the report was filed, it would definitely get picked up by the media.  That night, Greg brought her his laptop and Erika went to work.

(Two weeks later, just after Mira’s body had been found and everyone assumed Erika had met the same fate, Gregory reappeared on Mira’s family’s doorstep, this time under the pretense that Erika’s family wanted her personal effects.  Once again, Gregory was allowed to go to her room unaccompanied and he was able to secure a good many of Erika’s clothes and mementos, including the scrubs she wore when she visited Chris at the hospital.)

Erika had developed exceptional computer skills while in college and she learned how to hack from some of her friends who were computer majors.  Using her hacking skills, she got into her accounts, drained them, made it look as though she’d been the victim of identity theft, then opened several accounts for Greg at different small banks and deposited some of her money into each of those.  Erika made sure there was no trace of the transfer of money from her accounts to his new ones.  Once Greg received the debit cards from each of those banks, he was to start making small withdrawals every couple of weeks, at random times and on random days and in random amounts, and bring her the cash.  She told Greg to leave at least five thousand dollars in two of the accounts and ten thousand in the third; that was her way of saying thank you for everything he’d done for her.  He’d protested at first but she stood her ground and he finally gave in.  Unbeknownst to him, she set aside a little of the cash he brought her every week and planned to give him the accumulated savings when he announced his retirement.  She knew that was still a ways off and, as a result, there would be a tidy little sum waiting for him.  It was the least she could do to show her appreciation for his continued and never-wavering support of her over the years.  Plus, she hoped that by the time he retired, she’d be ready to stand on her own two feet and maybe, just maybe, be brave enough to go back out into the light.

Erika carefully made her way up to the dressing rooms backstage and entered Chris’.  She laid the rose on his dressing table, along with a note.  She stealthily made her way back to her basement home.  She knew that sometimes the stagehands would catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of their eyes but because she always wore black from head to toe whenever she ventured up into the theatre, the crew members would swear they’d seen a shadow person, a ghost, the so-called Phantom of the Booth.  The stories would always get back to Greg and he would always gleefully relate them to Erika, who would merely arch an eyebrow and smile.  When she returned to her lair, she sat down at the desk, pulled out one of the journals she’d asked Greg to purchase for her over the years and re-read the full account she’d written down of what had happened the night she tried to rescue her best friend Mira.  She wanted to have the details fresh in her mind for when she finally sat down with Christopher.

 

Chris and Josh made their way into the theatre amid a crush of paparazzi.  The show’s producers had announced the date Chris was returning to the show and here they were, needing Greg the Guard and a couple of NYPD officers to escort them through the crowd.  Once inside the safety of the theatre, Greg had smiled at both actors then winked at Chris and said, “Welcome back, Mr. Evans.  You were missed.”  Chris didn’t miss the extra meaning behind Greg’s words.  He felt a little thrill run down his spine.  Erika had been on his mind constantly over the past week.  He’d spent hours trying to figure out what she really looked like under all that makeup…and wondered how bad her disfigurement was for her to _need_ all that makeup.

“Thanks, Greg.  That’s nice of you to say,” he answered.

“You all healed up?  Well, you’d have to be if you got the okay to come back.”

“I’m still a little bit sore but it won’t interfere with my performance…”

“He hopes,” Josh added with a grin.  Chris glared at him, causing Josh’s grin to widen even more.  “Come on, you diva, let’s get you to your dressing room.”  To Greg he said, “Hey, thanks for your help getting us through that mob.  I really wasn’t expecting all those people.”

“No worries, Mr. Groban,” the guard replied.  “They started congregating outside the stage door a couple of hours ago.  The crew and the rest of the cast had to run the gauntlet too.  Oh, and speaking of which…” Greg trailed off as he turned and swept an arm towards those very same people, who’d lined up along the corridor to welcome Chris back.  For the next few minutes, Chris was greeted, kissed, and hugged to within an inch of his life.  When he finally entered his dressing room, Josh at his heels, he plopped down onto his couch then let out a small groan as his ribs protested the sudden movement.

“Hmm,” Josh intoned, not liking the sound his friend had just made, “maybe you should have taken a couple more days off.  It’s Thursday; you could have come back for the Saturday night show, given yourself a little more of a rest.”

“Oh, God, Josh, I’ve been on my ass for eight days already.  I couldn’t take any more.  It’s not that I didn’t love having Kat, Mom and Scott hovering over me but even that got old after three or four days.  The doctors say I’m okay to work so here I am.  Or,” he said with an arch of his eyebrow and a mischievous grin, “is it that you liked not having to share the stage with me this past week and just wanted a couple more days of solo glory?”

“Yeah, that’s it precisely.  Who cares if I’m worried that my best friend might be overdoing it just because he’s bored?  I just need to be the big swinging dick for a few more performances.  You suck, Evans,” he said but without any heat and a half-smile on his face.  Josh really had been worried about Chris.  Every now and then, when he checked on Chris in the middle of the night, he could hear the occasional moans of pain and the slightly labored breathing.  But Chris had clung to the doctors’ work clearance like a lifeline and Josh didn’t have the heart to talk him out of coming back tonight.  Chris really missed being onstage, just like Josh knew he would if it had been him on sick leave.  “I’m gonna head to my dressing room.  You need anything?”

“No, man, I’m good.”  Chris stood and stepped up to Josh.  He wrapped his arms around the singer’s shoulders and squeezed him tight.  Josh put his arms around Chris’ back and hugged him carefully, always mindful of the bruised ribs.  “Thanks for everything, Josh.  I couldn’t have gotten through this week without you.”

“All right, dude, that’s enough.  You thank me again and I’m going to find some shit to put in your water so that you can’t sing, you hear me?”  Josh gave Chris another light squeeze then stepped out of the embrace.  “Remember what the director said to you.  If you feel like you need to sit down or something during a scene, just improvise.  Nobody’ll be the wiser.”

“Yes, mom,” Chris said as he watched Josh head to the door.  Groban flipped him the bird over his shoulder and walked out to the sound of Chris’ laughter.  Chris shook his head, chuckling still, and turned to his dressing table.  That’s when he saw it.  A single blood red rose laid there with a folded note card attached.  Written across the front of the card, in beautiful cursive writing, was one word:  _Christopher_.

He stepped over to the table and with a slightly trembling hand, reached out and picked up the rose.  He took an appreciative sniff of the flower then opened the card.  There was more of that beautiful script inside: 

_Welcome back to the Booth, Christopher.  I’m glad that you are well enough to return to your role.  I understand ticket sales took a bit of a hit while you were away.  Seems the ladies weren’t that keen on seeing your understudy in the role.  I thought he performed well.  He’s handsome and talented but I can understand those ladies.  He certainly wasn’t you.  You were missed._

_I know I promised we’d talk but you’re probably going to be overwhelmed with everything tonight.  And, quite frankly, I’m not quite ready to have that conversation yet.  Although, I am curious as to why you want to know so much about me.  I’m just a blip on the screen of your everyday life and I’m wondering if it just shouldn’t stay that way.  I’ll need to think about this.  In the meantime, it’s good to have you back.  Good luck tonight.  Erika_

 

A blip on his screen?  Was she kidding?  He owed her his life.  Those muggers could have killed him if she hadn’t intervened.  And there was just something about the way she took care of him.  After all, he was just as much a stranger to her as she was to him.  There was something about her that called to him, made him take notice.  Those few quiet minutes alone together in the basement impacted him deeply, like no interaction with any woman had before.  There was just something about her, something hypnotic and appealing.  He re-read the note then untied the ribbon that held it to the flower.  He tucked the note into a pocket of his duffel bag and he grabbed an empty bud vase from underneath the dressing table.  He stepped over to the bathroom and filled the vase then carefully placed the rose in it.  He went back to his dressing table and placed the rose just where it would always be in his line of sight.  He sat down on the padded chair in front of the table.  “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said softly as he continued to look at the rose, “but you and I, we’ve got something between us, something worth exploring.  And I plan to do just that.  If you don’t come to me, I will most definitely go to you.  Remember, I know where you live.”  He started as he heard what sounded like a soft sigh coming from somewhere in the room.  He sat back in his chair and smiled.

 


	4. Flattering Child, You Shall Know Me, See Why In Shadow I Hide...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Erika begin to communicate in an unusual way...

It had been ten days since Chris’ return to the show.  Ten days.  Ten friggin’ days!  Chris always thought he was a patient man (“Hey, Josh, you’d say I was patient, right?”  Groban promptly choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken).  Okay, maybe not _that_ patient but he knew that finally seeing Erika would be worth the wait…he just didn’t understand why she was taking so long to take that step.

Chris knew she was around.  It was almost as though he’d become attuned to her presence.  He’d hear the occasional knock on his door while he sat in his dressing room waiting for his cue to go on.  There was never anyone else in the hallway when it happened so he knew it was her.  It was almost like she was checking in.  Every now and then, he’d look down from the stage and, there, to the far left of the orchestra seats, would be a shadowy figure standing alone, watching the show.  He’d blink and she’d be gone.  But she _had_ been there.  The Wednesday after he came back, as he and Josh had dinner together in his dressing room between the matinee and the evening performance, Josh said something outrageously funny and Chris laughed but when the laughter had subsided, he heard an amused snort come from somewhere in the back of the room.  Josh must have heard something because his head came up and he glanced towards the area the sound had come from.  “The walls are kind of thin for a theatre this old, don’t you think?  I mean, I could have sworn I heard someone laugh,” Josh remarked.

Chris shrugged.  “Yeah, you get all kinds of really weird random sounds in here.”  Now he heard another soft snort, this one indignant.  He had to bite his lip to keep from smiling.

And on it went for another few days until Chris had had enough.  Before heading to the theatre (Kat was in town again and Josh had taken her to an early dinner), Chris went to a florist near the duplex and picked up a small bouquet of zinnias he had specially ordered a couple of days before.  He’d done some research on the internet on the meaning of flowers and decided he was going to start letting certain blooms do the talking for him.  Zinnias meant “I mourn your absence.”  Take that, Doc.

When he arrived at the theatre, he pulled Greg aside and handed him the bouquet.  “I trust you’ll see that our friend gets these?”

Greg cracked a smile.  “Yes, sir, Mr. Evans.”

The next day, Chris walked into his dressing room and discovered a small pot of bright red impatiens on the table.  The note next to it simply said, _Impatiens for the impatient._   Huh.  Shots fired!  Chris grinned.

Two days later, he showed up at the theatre with a potted iris and a note:  _Faith, hope, and friendship?_   He stepped over to Greg and said, quietly, “Tell our friend I’ve left her something in my dressing room.”

Greg shook his head with a grin.  “Will do, Mr. Evans.”

At intermission, Chris entered his dressing room and found a single yellow rose in the bud vase he’d used before.  There was no note, not that the flower needed one.  Yellow roses signified friendship.  Taking a chance, he said aloud, “I’m glad you’ve accepted my friendship.”

A moment later, he heard her melodious voice respond, “As if you were going to give me a choice.”

He laughed softly.  “Come to me, Erika.  Let’s talk.”  He got no reply.  The following day, he found a wicker basket full of different colored begonias.  He pulled out his phone to look up the meaning of that particular flower.  There were a number of meanings but the one he felt best fit what she was trying to say was “being cautious about new situations.”  He sighed.  He stepped back into the hall and headed over to Greg’s little station near the stage door.

“Hey, Mr. Evans, what can I do for you?”

“I have a question.  I know you may or may not want to answer it but I just have to ask.”  Greg nodded for him to go on.  “Our friend…is she, by any chance, wealthy?  I mean, some of the stuff she’s left me…they would have to have been special ordered.  I know I can afford to do that but…” he trailed off.

“Let’s just say she’s more than comfortable and leave it at that, okay, Mr. Evans?”

“Yeah, okay, that’s fine.  I just don’t want her to feel she has to, you know, keep up?”

“She doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do or can’t afford to do.  Trust me.”

“Okay,” Chris said, “great.  So, let the war of the roses continue.  Thanks, Greg.”  He turned and headed back to his dressing room.

“War of the roses, hmm?” Erika’s voice came from somewhere behind Greg.  “I rather like that.  It’s a very English reference.”  Greg just chuckled and wagged his head.

After a couple of days of silence from her end, Chris came in and left her a beautiful purple hyacinth with a note that read:  _I’m sorry, I don’t mean to rush you._   When another couple of days went by with no flowers, no messages, and no sightings, Chris felt a raging sense of disappointment.  He’d blown it.  He’d been too pushy and someone who was tough on the outside but might be sporting a fragile psyche on the inside wouldn’t care for being pushed.  He was probably going to end his run in early April without ever having seen the real her or heard the story of how she came to live in the basement of the Booth Theatre.  The regret he felt was overwhelming; the sadness at missing his chance with this mysterious, charismatic, and, yes, playful woman made him moody and quiet.  Josh kept trying to get him to talk about what was bothering him but for once, Chris wasn’t very forthcoming.  Given how well he knew his best friend and co-star, Josh figured Chris’ mood had something to do with a woman but until Evans was good and ready to talk, Josh just had to leave well enough alone.

Five days after leaving the hyacinth for Erika, Chris arrived at the Booth earlier than usual.  It was a Sunday, so there was a two o’clock matinee but no evening performance.  There was no performance on Monday either so Josh had decided to have a get together at his duplex after the matinee.  He and Chris could sleep in on Monday and spend the day hanging out with Kat and her co-star and best friend, Beth Behrs.  Chris knew he’d been acting like a dick for the past week so he decided to put on a happy face and have fun at Groban’s little soiree.  He walked past Greg’s station and smiled at the man ( _didn’t he ever go home?_ Chris thought) and headed into his dressing room.  He closed the door behind him and tossed his duffel bag on the couch.  When he turned to his dressing table, he gasped.  Sitting there was a simple yet elegant arrangement of tawny daylilies.  He stepped over to them and trailed a finger along one of the flowers.  Tucked under the vase was a note.  Written across the front, in the familiar script he so admired, was the usual:  _Christopher_.  He pulled the note out and opened it.

 

_My dear Christopher, I understand you’re from Boston.  I would imagine you’ve not been able to go home for a visit since you started your run in this show.  I decided that I would bring a little bit of home to you.  These lilies grow wild in Massachusetts.  Beautiful, aren’t they?  I hope you enjoy them.  I’ve certainly enjoyed our little “war of the roses.”  You’ve given me such beautiful flowers…and a tremendous amount of joy.  I will be forever grateful to you for that.  I also want you to know that I’m done thinking.  You’ll be hearing from me soon.  Until then, always stay safe, Christopher.  Yours, Erika._

 

Chris sat down heavily on his chair, relief pouring through him.  So he hadn’t blown it.  And she actually sought out a flower to give him that grew in his home state.  The woman was thoughtful to a fault.  He didn’t know Erika very well at all, but in that moment, he felt himself lose a little piece of his heart to her.  He re-read her note, tucked it back under the vase then went tearing out of his dressing room.  He skidded to a halt in front of Greg’s desk.  “If anyone asks, Greg, I’ll be back in less than half an hour.”

“Is everything okay, Mr. Evans?” Greg’s face showed concern for the almost wild-eyed look Chris was sporting.

“Yeah, I’m fine, great.  I’ll be back soon, I promise!” With that, he practically ran out of the building.

“What are you doing to that poor kid, Erika?” Greg whispered over his shoulder.  He heard her soft sigh.  “I think the proper question, Gregory, is what is he doing to me?  Do you have any idea how enormous a chance I’m taking with him?  If he rejects me, if he even flinches in horror, I’ll be devastated.  And I don’t know if there will be any coming back from that.”

“He’s a good kid, Erika.  He _wants_ to get to know you.  I don’t think he’ll flinch, not even a little bit.”

Another sigh.  “From your mouth, Gregory, to God’s ear.”

 

True to his word, Chris reappeared a half hour later, a large plastic bag in his hands.  He nodded and smiled at Greg as he headed to his dressing room.  He again closed the door behind him and proceeded to remove the bag from his purchase.  It was a large, ornate basket full of multi-colored petunias.  It hadn’t been cheap since they were out of season and he hadn’t ordered them in advance but it was worth every penny.  He set the basket down on the coffee table that sat in front of the sofa.  He pulled out a plain note card and on it he wrote:  _Erika, your gift is beautiful and I am deeply, deeply touched.  I’m also very happy that you have forgiven me.  I was worried that I’d pushed you away.  Please accept this gift and know that I absolutely stand by the meaning of these flowers – Your presence soothes me.  And it does, sweet girl.  I feel better knowing that you’re watching me.  I can’t wait to hear from you again.  Always, your Christopher._

He nestled the note into the flowers then turned and responded to the knock on his door.  It was time for hair and makeup and wardrobe.  Taking one last look at the basket of flowers on the coffee table, he smiled then followed the wardrobe assistant out.  A moment later, a panel in the back of the room noiselessly slid open and Erika stepped out.  There were all sorts of little hideaways and secret doors scattered around the building.  Most were put in so the Broadway stars of yesteryear could conduct their little assignations with each other and not be seen leaving each other’s dressing rooms.  This was how Erica was able to get around as well as she did.

She smiled at the large basket of colorful petunias.  Erika knew the significance of these flowers and she was touched that he felt that way about her.  She also had to smile at the fact that in _The Losers_ , his character, Jensen, had a niece who played on a soccer team called the Petunias.  She’d have to point that out to him when they met.  And that would be happening sooner than he thought.  She had something she wanted to leave for him, but she wasn’t going to bring it up here until just before the final bows.  She stepped over to the coffee table and reached among the blooms to pull out the card.  She felt tears gather behind her eyes as she read his note.  Oh, God, what was she doing?  Why was she doing this?  She knew Christopher had a good heart and was a fine man, but what would someone like him do with someone as monstrous as she?  She was setting herself up for the biggest crash and burn in known history, she just knew it.  Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, maybe she should just squash the whole notion of meeting each other face to grotesque face.  If he reacted negatively in any way, it would ruin her.  It would kill her.  She liked Chris Evans more than she had any right to, and having him turn away from the horror of her face would devastate her.  As she had told Greg, there would be no coming back from that.  _Why don’t you just grow a pair and let the man decide for himself?  He just may surprise you,_ said that little inner voice that was responsible for pushing her into doing things that have been equal parts successful and disastrous.  That was the voice that told her she would excel in the medical field, but it was also the little voice that urged her to go after Mira on that fateful, horrible night.  But, the voice was right.  She had no right to make any decisions on Christopher’s behalf.  If he reacted poorly, well then, she knew where she stood and she would simply stay in the shadows like she had been doing over the past five and a half years.  But if he didn’t…if he was able to accept what he saw and deal with it, she might actually feel true happiness for the first time since she came to the United States to follow her calling.  It was a crapshoot.  But if one stopped to think about it, every major decision one made was a crapshoot.  The odds were always fifty-fifty.  She would just have to play through and let whatever was going to happen, happen.

Erika heard voices in the hall.  She scooped up the basket of petunias and the note and hurried toward the sliding panel.  A moment later, she was gone.

 

The crowd was really into the show that afternoon.  Chris and Josh got no less than three curtain calls.  When they finally got off the stage, they walked back towards their dressing rooms, discussing what they needed to stop and pick up for the party.  Chris left Josh at his door and continued down the hall.  He stepped into his dressing room and his eyes fell upon the pot sitting on the coffee table.  It was a Jacob’s Ladder plant.  He walked over to it, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes.  The meaning of this plant was “come down to me.”  Was this the invitation he’d been waiting for since the day he met her over a month ago?  He picked up the note she’d left with a shaking hand.  It was now hitting him full force how much this meeting really meant to him.  He opened the card.

 

_Tomorrow, five p.m.  Gregory will let you in.  I am inviting you to come down to me._

 

 


	5. The Point of No Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Erika come face to face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for Holsvick...

Chris stood in front of the stage door of the Booth Theatre, bundled up with his watchman’s cap, a scarf, and the collar of his wool jacket turned up.  He was hoping no one would recognize him or, considering the theatre was dark today, ask him what he was doing there when he was supposed to have the night off.  He sighed and shifted the enormous bouquet of mixed flowers from his right hand to his left.  What the hell?  Was he really _this_ nervous?  He didn’t remember being this jittery for his audition for Sondheim and Lloyd Webber and he _damn_ sure was nervous for that.  How could this woman, this woman he barely knew and whose real face he’d never seen, affect him like this?  Was he crazy?  Had he finally cracked and gone round the bend?  Probably, but that didn’t stop him from raising his hand to knock on the door…and practically jump out of his skin when the door opened before his knuckles even connected with it.

“Evenin’, Mr. Evans,” Greg said with grin.

“Way to scare the shit out of a guy, Greg.  And good evening to you, too.”

Greg chuckled then stepped aside to let Chris in.  Chris paused as he listened to Greg shut and bolt the door.  It sounded so loud in the empty space.  The guard came around from behind Chris and turned to face him.  “Those are really gorgeous flowers, Mr. Evans.  She’ll love ‘em.  They’ll really brighten up the place.”  He paused and said, softly, “She’s nervous, too.  She’s never done this before.  Quite frankly, she never thought she’d ever get the chance.”  He paused again, considered what he was going to say then shrugged his wide shoulders and continued.  “As you might have guessed, I’m the only person she’s had contact with in more than five years – as herself, mind you.  Every now and then, she’ll slap on some makeup and a wig and take a walk outside, or have me order a ticket for her to whatever show is playing here and she’ll sit in the audience, just like everyone else.  She watched your and Mr. Groban’s performance every night for the first six weeks of your run.  Sometimes she was in the audience, and sometimes she was wherever she hides when she comes up to the main theatre.  Never did that before.”  He stopped again and sighed. 

“Mr. Evans, what I’m trying to say is that as strong as she may appear to be, she’s pretty fragile on the inside.  She’ll kill me if she finds out I’ve told you any of this but I need you to understand what you’re dealing with.  I love that girl as though she were my own flesh and blood.  I helped nurse her back to health.  I kind of feel like a dad to her.  And I look after her as such.  I’ve also had to talk her down off the ledge more than once.  What happened to her…shouldn’t happen to an animal, let alone a human being.  She’s had to deal with that and with all kinds of loss…with only me to help her through it.  She’s taken a real shine to you.  And from what I know of you, you’re worth it.  But you need to be real careful with her.  Like I said, she’s fragile.  And she’s terrified of what she’s about to do.  But there’s something about you that’s made her want to take this step…and quite frankly, I’m thrilled.  She needs to come out of the darkness, Mr. Evans.  You could help her take those first few steps.”  He reached out and put a hand on Chris’ shoulder.  “I don’t mean to make you more nervous than you already are.  I mean, you all but jumped out of your clothes when I opened the door for you just now.  But forewarned is forearmed or some such bullshit.  It’s just better for you to know…and to back out now if you think the pressure is going to be too much…or if you don’t think you can handle what was done to her.”

Chris shuddered slightly then, resolute, he straightened his spine and, looking for all the world like Captain America, said, “I want to know this woman, Greg.  She’s been living in my head since the day she saved my ass out there in the Alley.  I know she’s been disfigured and I’ve spent an awful lot of time trying to imagine what was done to her and, trust me, I’ve got a real vivid imagination and I’ve come up with some pretty gruesome scenarios…but none of them stopped me from thinking about her and wanting to take this step.  She’s special, in a lot of different ways.  She unlike any woman, any _person_ I’ve ever met and if I don’t go downstairs and sit down with her and talk to her…I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life.”

There was complete and utter silence between them for a few moments then Greg’s face broke out into a wide smile.  “Come on, I’ll take you to the freight elevator.  Erika’s waiting for you.”

Chris felt a sense of relief upon seeing the older man’s smile.  Apparently he’d said something that met with Greg’s approval.  He followed the guard to the freight elevator.  Greg punched the down button and the large elevator door slid open noiselessly.  “I try to keep it oiled up real good so that no one hears it if Erika needs to use it during the day.  She’s pretty resourceful, though.  She’s found a number of ways of getting to all parts of this theatre.  She won’t tell me, but I think she swiped an old set of plans out of one of the old offices not long after she got here.  That can be the only explanation for how she’s found so many ways to get around.”  Greg swept his hand towards the interior of the elevator.  “Your chariot awaits, Mr. Evans.”

Chris gave Greg a quick smile before he stepped into the elevator and punched the button marked “B2.”  He saw Greg give a grin and a wave as the door slid closed.  Chris felt the old elevator begin its descent and gave himself a quick pep talk in an effort to calm his jangling nerves.  This meeting was something they both wanted so why the hell was he so nervous?  And then it hit him.  He wasn’t nervous about meeting her – that ship had sailed over a month ago – he was nervous about what his reaction to her would be.  Erika’s face was disfigured.  That he knew without ever having to be told.  He guessed it from the way she hid from him that first night and by the heavy-handed makeup and style of wig she wore when she came to see him at the hospital.  The makeup looked natural at first glance, but the more you looked at it – and he thoroughly studied her while she stood by his bed – the more you could see that it was heavily applied and that her right cheek wasn’t at all symmetrical to her left cheek.  The wig’s bangs were also used to camouflage the right side of her face.  Whatever had happened to her face, or was done to it if what Greg said just now was accurate, had been done to only that side of her face…and it is was bad.  Greg also confirmed what Chris had suspected for a while now:  Erika, for all her outer strength and bravado, was fragile.  _She’s never done this before_ , Greg’s voice echoed in his head.  _She’s terrified of what she’s about to do_.  No one but Greg had seen her actual face since she’d been disfigured.  Chris was going to be the first person she allowed to look upon her without hiding behind or under something.  If he couldn’t control his features, if he couldn’t hide the shock at what had been done to her, she could misconstrue it as revulsion and shut herself off from him…and the world at large.  She could burrow deeper into the darkness than she already had and never allow herself to come into the light again – ever.  And it would be his fault.  He couldn’t do that to her.  And that’s where the nerves came from.  There was a lot riding on the moment they came face to face.

The elevator ground to a halt and the door slid open, startling Chris from his reverie.  Beyond the doorway, the cavernous space was cloaked in the same shadowy darkness he remembered from his first time down here.  As he stepped forward into the room, he could see that there were more candles lit this evening than on the first night.  Perhaps she was trying to make him feel more comfortable by providing more light for him as she was clearly accustomed to being in the near dark.

He took a few more cautious steps, not wanting to seem like an overbearing guest by walking into her space without a proper invitation.  He stopped and quietly called out, “Erika?”

“Good evening, Christopher,” came her melodic voice, the English accent seemingly more pronounced than he’d heard it before.  _Nerves,_ he thought to himself, _probably making her accent stronger.  God knows I’ll probably be busting out the Boston soon enough._   “Please,” she continued, “come in, make yourself at home.  I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of ordering supper for us.  Gregory will be bringing it down shortly.”

Chris, still not sure where she was, took another few steps forward as he said, “Good evening, Erika.  Thank you for inviting me here.  As for supper, I think that’s a great idea.”  He stopped again and looked around.  “Uh, Erika?  Where exactly are you?”

He heard her soft laugh.  “Look to your ten o’clock, Christopher.”

Chris looked to his left and there she was, sitting on a large, ornate desk that was clearly a prop from a show from the early days of the Booth Theatre.  He smiled.  For once, she wasn’t dressed like a ninja or a doctor.  She had on a light blue Oxford-style silk blouse with three-quarter length sleeves that she'd left opened at the collar and a black pencil skirt.  On her feet were a pair of mid-high heeled pumps.  And her hair, wow.  If this was her natural hair, he was tempted to ask her, right there and then, to never cover it with another wig again.  It was thick and wavy and so glossy that it reflected the light from several nearby candles.  It hung down several inches past her shoulders and appeared to be a deep, rich mahogany in color, with deep red highlights glinting in the candlelight.  She wore it parted on the left and swept over to the right so the damaged side of her face remained in shadow.  As he watched, she slid off the desk and slowly walked towards him.  Good lord, she was built like a Greek goddess.  It had been hard to tell from the all black outfit or the doctor’s scrubs.  Chris could feel his nerves – and his desire – ratchet up with each step she took.  She walked with her head slightly bowed but when she was about three feet away from him, she stopped and finally looked up into his eyes.  “It’s good to see you again, Christopher,” she said softly.

Chris felt as though he’d taken a blow to the solar plexus.  The breath was completely knocked out of him.  She was…beautiful.  Erika was beautiful.  Even with just seeing the left side of her face he knew that she was one of the most stunning women he’d ever laid eyes on.  That hair, those killer curves…and her eyes.  She had magnificent eyes.  As he fought to regain his breath and his equilibrium, he let his eyes roam slowly from the top of her head down to her feet and back again.

Erika stood before this most perfect specimen of the male of the species and felt her insides twist with every second that passed while his brilliant eyes made a slow perusal of her entire body.  It had been years, _years_ since a man had looked at her like that.  But there was more than just blatant sexual interest in his eyes – and there was _plenty_ of that; there was appreciation…and _affection_ there as well.  She hadn’t been prepared for that and caught herself before she flinched in surprise.  Suddenly even more nervous than before, she cleared her throat and said, “Those flowers are lovely, Christopher.  Are they, by any chance, for me?”  She gave a small smile and Chris felt his heart clench.  It was easy to see that her smile was a bit wider on the left than on the right.  It was still lovely, but it was a reminder of the damage she’d suffered on her right side.

“Yes, yes, of course they’re for you,” he said as he handed them over.  “I…didn’t want to show up empty handed, especially after our little ‘war of the roses.’”

She took the flowers from him, her smile widening slightly.  “I rather enjoyed our floral skirmishes,” she said as she turned and headed back towards the desk.  She stopped and glanced over her left shoulder.  “Come with?  Or would you prefer remaining in that particular space you’re currently occupying?”

Chris grinned, making Erika’s heart stutter momentarily then take off at a gallop.  “Where you go, I will follow.”  He walked towards her, taking off his cap and unwinding his scarf from around his neck.  He dropped them on the ornate desk as he passed by then unzipped his jacket.  She turned again and led the way to an area that was set up like a small sitting room.  She had books and magazines on several makeshift shelves and a laptop set up on a much smaller desk than the one she’d been sitting on.  Next to the laptop were several stacks of DVDs.  So, she watched movies to help pass the time.  He stepped over to take a look at her collection as she said over her shoulder, “I have a bathroom just here.  Let me fill up a vase and get these gorgeous flowers settled.  I do hope I have enough room on my bedside table for these,” she said, almost to herself.  “They’d be wonderful to wake up to.”  Chris smiled when he heard that.

As he heard the water running in the bathroom sink, he reached for the first pile of DVDs, going through them idly until he realized that every movie he held, he was in.  It would appear his savior – the woman who haunted his dreams, both awake and asleep – was a fan.  Imagine that.  He looked at the DVDs; she had both _Fantastic Four_ movies, all the Marvel films he’d been in, _The Losers_ , _What’s Your Number?_ , and, wait, she even had a copy of _Cellular_ and _Sunshine_?  Wow.  He looked at _What’s Your Number?_ again and wished he could have seen her reaction to his nudity.  Well, that settled it then, didn’t it?  She’d seen him in all his glory, now it was time to see all of her.  He set the DVDs down, with the exception of _What’s Your Number?_ ,  and turned to wait for her to come out of the bathroom.

Erika fussed over the flowers, carefully placing them in the vase so that the arrangement stayed intact since it was picture perfect.  She wondered if he would always come to her bearing flowers.  She rolled her eyes at herself.  What an utterly foolish notion.  As if he was going to make a habit of coming to see her.  Well, a girl was allowed her fantasies, wasn’t she?  These days, it was all she really had.  Giving the flowers one more little fluff, she grabbed the vase and stepped out of the bathroom.

She saw him standing by her laptop and the…DVDs.  She stopped dead in her tracks.  Oh, God.  He’d seen them.  He’d seen her meticulously curated collection of his films.  In his hands he held what was surely her guiltiest pleasure:  _What’s Your Number?_   Not knowing what to say, or do, she lowered her head so that her curtain of hair heavily shadowed her face.  She could feel a blush of pure mortification crawl up her chest, her neck and finally up into her cheeks.  Damn her fair English complexion.  Even in candlelight, it was easy to see how red she was.

Chris watched as Erika, clearly embarrassed over his finding her “Chris Evans movies stash,” turned sharply to her right and walked over to a small table by a Victorian wingchair and set the flowers down on it.  She stood there, then, not moving and certainly not looking at him.  “Erika,” he said softly, “I wasn’t aware you were such a fan.”

Making sure to keep her left side towards him, she raised her head, tossed her hair back a bit and gave a small shrug.  “It’s all Gregory’s fault,” she said, trying to keep her tone light, “he brings me movies he thinks I would like and one night he brought me _Captain America:  The First Avenger_.  I enjoyed it very much.  I may have asked him if the young man who played Steve Rogers had made other films.”  She gestured towards the DVDs on the table, still not looking at him and still keeping her right side away from his view.  “You’ve seen the results of my little inquiry.”

“I have to say I’m very flattered,” he said.  He looked down at the DVD case in his hands.  “This one was right up there near the top.  A favorite?”

She took a quick glance at him.  “It’s…cute, sweet.  I liked your character.  He was a bit of a hound but he had a good heart.”

“My mother says Colin and Jensen, from _The Losers,_ are the closest characters to my own personality.”

She turned a little more towards him.  “Jensen?  Really?  That’s interesting.  I liked him, too, but he was a little bit of an ass sometimes.  I would so love to hear her reasons for her choice.”

“Maybe one day you will.”  He saw her visibly start at that statement.  “Erika,” he said as he held up the DVD case and waved it about.  “It’s time.  You’ve seen pretty much all of me; now I want to see all of you.”  He turned and dropped the DVD back on the pile of his films.  He turned back to her and took a couple of steps forward.  She watched him warily, reminding him of a scared little bunny watching an advancing fox.  He held a hand out to her.  “Come over here, Erika.  Let me see you.  Please.”

“Do you really want to do that before dinner, Christopher?” she asked drily.  “It might ruin your appetite…”

“NO!” he nearly shouted, suddenly furious with her.  She started violently and took a couple of steps back.  “Don’t _do_ that,” he said, forcing his voice back down to a normal level even though she could clearly hear the anger in it.  “Don’t try to make light of something that forced you into this situation.  And don’t make light of the fact that I’ve come to care enough about you to want to see you, exactly as you are.  I’ve spent hours imagining what you look like, Erika.  Each scenario was worse than the last but it didn’t matter.  What you look like doesn’t matter.  _You do_.”

She turned away from him.  “You say that now,” she said over her shoulder, her voice soft, sad.

“Erika,” Chris said, taking a few more steps towards her, “please, sweet girl, let me see you.”

Suddenly overwhelmed by it all, Erika grabbed her hair, pulled it away from her face and whirled around to confront him head on.  “Here,” she spat, “is this it?  Is this what you wanted to see?  Did you imagine anything like this, Christopher?  Did you?”

Chris stopped in his tracks and stared at her.  He made sure to keep his features as neutral as possible but it was damn difficult.  Whoever had done that to her face was a monster, a fucking, heartless, brutal, _evil_ monster.  He felt all manner of emotion flood his heart, his mind.  He wasn’t repulsed – this was Erika and she wasn’t repulsive – but he was horrified, horrified at what was done to her, horrified at what she’d had to endure.  He saw the tears in her eyes – those magnificent eyes – and he took another few steps towards her until they were about a foot apart.  He slowly reached up to pull her hand out of her hair but she shook her head and took a step back as she dropped her hands to her sides.  He nodded and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets.  He stood still for a moment, watching her, then said, softly, “Hazel, they really are hazel.”

“What?” Erika asked, completely confused.  She hadn’t been sure what to expect from him once she revealed herself, but this – whatever it was – wasn’t it.

“Your eyes.  They are really a beautiful hazel.  I thought maybe you were wearing contacts or something at the hospital but no, your eyes really are that pretty hazel color.  They’re gorgeous.”

Overcome by the gentleness in his eyes and in his words – and surprised that he’d reacted in a completely different manner than she’d anticipated – Erika’s knees went out from under her.

 


	6. Silently The Senses Abandon Their Defenses...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris is making Erika feel things she thought were lost to her...

Chris, thankful that all the Marvel training he’d done had improved his reflexes, caught Erika in his arms as her knees gave way beneath her.  He swept her up, bridal style, and cradled her to his chest for a few moments before walking out of the sitting room area, past the old, ornate desk and towards the part of the room he thought the bed he’d lain on had been.  He saw the bed, hurried to it and laid Erika on it.  He sat down by her hip.  “Erika?  Honey, are you okay?  Can I get you anything?”

“My…eyes,” she said, her tone incredulous.  “I show you this,” she waved towards her face, “and all you can say is that my eyes are hazel…and that they’re gorgeous.”  She laughed then.  It was tinged with hysteria.  “I’ve never seen a case of tunnel vision quite that bad.”

“Erika,” Chris began but he was interrupted by the elevator door opening.  Greg stepped out, bags of food in his hands, the smile on his face fading when he caught sight of Erika on the bed with Chris sitting beside her.  He rushed forward.

“Erika, what happened?  Are you okay?”  The older man glared at Chris.  “What the hell did you say to her?”

“Gregory!” Erika’s sharp voice cut through Greg’s.  The guard turned to her.  “I got a little lightheaded, that’s all.  My knees got weak and Christopher caught me before I fell and brought me here to lie down.  That’s what I get for not eating all day, I suppose.  Being a doctor, I should know better…you would think.”  She tried to sit up.  Chris caught her hand and helped pull her into a sitting position.  As soon as she was up, she gently pulled her hand out of his grip.  “I’m assuming that’s our food?” she said to Greg.

“Uh, yeah…yeah, it is.”  He turned and set it down on a table near the bed.  He looked back at Erika.  “Are you sure you’re okay?  Why in God’s name didn’t you eat anything today?  The mini-fridge is always stocked.  You could have snacked on something.”

Erika gave an elegant one shouldered shrug.  “Nerves,” she said as if that were the answer to everything.  “It’s a good thing Christopher has excellent reflexes.”  She turned to Chris.  “Thank you, by the way.  Good catch.”

Chris simply smiled.

“Okay, well, food’s here so you haven’t got any excuse now.  Go eat.  I’m heading back upstairs.”  He looked at Chris and gave him a small, sheepish smile.  “Sorry I yelled at you, Mr. Evans.  I was just surprised to see her like that.  No hard feelings?”

“Of course not, Greg.  I probably would have reacted the same way.  We’re good.”

The older man nodded.  “Thanks.  I’m gonna head up now.  If either of you needs anything, just let me know.”  Greg turned and headed back to the elevator.  A moment later, he was gone.

Chris turned to look at Erika.  “Thanks…for going to bat for me…”

“Gregory had no right to yell at you.  He means well, though.  He’s always been very protective of me.  He’s been the closest thing I’ve had to a father all these years.”  Erika stared into Chris’ eyes for a moment.  She cocked her head to one side, a considering look on her face.  “You really meant that, that whole business about my eyes.  You saw my face, you clearly saw what was done to it, and yet, you didn’t even flinch or look horrified or…anything.”

Chris stared back at Erika for a few moments.  He gestured towards her hair, which once again hung over the right side of her face, and said, “May I?”  Erika hesitated, looking skittish, before giving a brief nod.  Chris slowly lifted his hand and reached up to tuck her thick hair behind her right ear.  He took the chance and let his hand linger there, his fingers gently tracing the shell of her ear.  Erika sat perfectly still, her apprehension clearly palpable.  Little by little, she relaxed.  Chris watched as she brought her right hand up and curled her fingers lightly around his wrist.  It was the first time she’d voluntarily touched him since the night of the mugging.  “You’re not…repulsed by this?” she asked softly, gesturing to her face with her other hand, a clear note of disbelief in her voice.  Good God, what had she expected?  That he’d react in fear, horror, revulsion, and loathing, the way people reacted to the Phantom in Leroux’s book?

Chris shook his head, his fingers now trailing over her temple, her hand still wrapped around his wrist.  “My God, no, Erika, you’re not repulsive at all.  I’m not going to lie to you and say that those scars aren’t a startling sight and I’m not going to tell you that I’m not at all horrified but not because I think you’re ugly or hideous or whatever word you want to use.  I’m horrified because I can’t believe one human being could do that to another.  I’m horrified because I can’t imagine the pain you must have endured while that was happening.  I’m horrified that you had to suffer at all.”  He moved his fingers down towards the scars but her hand tightened around his wrist to stop him.  He stilled.  “Too soon?” he asked softly.  She nodded.  “You’ll let me know when?” he whispered.

“Yes,” she whispered back, too much in awe of this man to say anything else.  He wasn’t repulsed.  He wasn’t horrified.  In fact, he was still looking at her with the same appreciation, affection…and desire in his eyes as he had when he first laid eyes on her earlier.  She couldn’t believe it.  Any other man probably would have recoiled, backed away in shock and revulsion.  Chris did not, not for a single moment.  Who _was_ this man?  Was he even _real_ or was this just a conjuring of her overactive imagination and her desire to be looked at as a normal woman just once more in her lifetime?  She’d been beautiful once, she’d been desirable.  After the event, she thought she’d never be looked at, or even thought of, in that way ever again.  Yet here was this man, this gorgeous, intelligent, _lovely_ man, looking at her like there was nothing wrong with her, looking at her as if some animal _hadn’t_ carved his gang symbol into her right cheek.  Erika didn’t know what to say to Chris and even if she did, she didn’t know how to say it.  How _do_ you tell someone they’ve touched your soul?

“Erika, sweetheart, are you going to tell me what happened?”

She found her voice.  “Yes,” she said slowly, “yes, I’m going to tell you.  I promised I would.  But it’s not the type of story one relates over dinner.  Let’s eat first; I’m actually quite hungry.  We’ll sit later with some wine and I’ll tell you the whole thing.”  She loosened her grip on his wrist and ran her hand along his wool-covered forearm.  “My God, Christopher, you haven’t even taken off your jacket!  I’m not much of a hostess, am I?”  She bumped her thigh against his hip, indicating that she wanted to get up.  Chris stood and offered her his hand.  She looked at it for a moment then took it, and he helped her off the bed.  Instead of letting her go, however, he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles.  He felt a tremor run through her body.  She was afraid of him.  No, that wasn’t quite right.  She was afraid of all men.  It was a man, after all, who’d done that unspeakable damage to her face.

“You’re a fine hostess, Erika,” Chris said softly, “it’s just that things went…a little south, let’s say.  I’ll just leave my jacket here on the bed, if you don’t mind, and we’ll set up dinner together, okay?” 

Chris’ face was mere inches from hers.  She let her eyes roam over the planes and valleys of his fine bone structure.  God, he was handsome, truly handsome.  He was tall but with her heels, her eyes came level with his lips…such full lips…  Her eyes widened as she realized that she desired him.  She wanted nothing more than to bring her lips to his and kiss him.  The feeling surprised her.  She’d thought her ability to desire any man had died on that horrible, horrible night.  The realization made her…happy but, at the moment, she was powerless to do anything about it.  She simply nodded in agreement with his plan and backed away, breaking the momentary spell that had surrounded them.  They both felt the loss.

 

Dinner was a surprisingly easy affair.  She’d ordered food from Carmine’s, an Italian restaurant that was just up the street from Shubert Alley on Forty-Fourth Street.  It had been a favorite of hers since she first went there not long after she’d arrived in the United States.  It had been the first restaurant she’d gone to with Mira and Mira’s circle of party girl/party boy friends.  While Erika didn’t party anywhere near as hard as Mira and her friends did, they weren’t a bad group of people and were fun to hang out with.  Plus, they knew where all the good restaurants were, both tourist traps (like Carmine’s, although the place was popular with the locals) and little hole in the wall joints that were off the beaten path.  And both Mira and Erika _loved_ to eat.  Mira had one of _those_ metabolisms – she could eat like a goddamn horse and never gain a pound.  Erika wasn’t quite that fortunate but her work as a trauma doctor in a busy New York City emergency room helped keep the weight off.  Erika knew from an article in one of the magazines Greg brought her that Chris was half Italian and she’d overheard several of his conversations with Josh where he’d said he liked Carmine’s.  So, choosing what to have for dinner was a no-brainer.  She was completely vindicated in her choice when Chris opened the bags, saw the restaurant’s logo on the to-go containers and let out a whoop.

While they ate, Chris kept her entertained with stories about his family and friends and the early days of his career.  He was a natural born storyteller and she was amused by how much he used his hands while he talked.  How he actually got any food in his mouth through all his gesticulating was a wonder.  It was obvious that he felt the need to dominate the conversation now, since she would be doing the bulk of the talking later.  Erika marveled at how comfortable she felt with him, at how easy it was to talk and laugh with him.  She’d been convinced that the only man she would ever feel relaxed around was Gregory.  Chris disproved that in a hurry.  She found she was having a wonderful time.  And wasn’t that a lovely feeling?

Throughout the meal, Chris would occasionally put his fork down, sit back in his chair and watch her quietly, a small smile on his face.  After he’d done that a third time, Erika could no longer stand it.  “Why do you keep looking at me like that, Christopher?  Is there something on my face…besides the obvious, I mean.”

Wow, did she just made a joke at her own expense?  Chris hadn’t seen that coming.  Perhaps, over the years, she’d gotten so used to Greg seeing her as she was, and having the time to come to terms somewhat with how she looked, she felt comfortable enough with herself to be able to say something like that.  Chris was actually rather proud of her.  Whatever may have happened to her, it certainly hadn’t destroyed the wicked sense of humor she displayed from time to time.  “No, sweet girl, there’s nothing on your face.  I’m just enjoying watching you eat.  Since I started acting, I can’t tell you how many women I’ve been out with who refuse to eat with true and utter enjoyment, either because they’re in the business themselves and cling to the belief that they have to eat like birds in order to get work or they think they’ll offend me if they eat like God had intended them to.  Not you, sweetheart.  You eat with gusto and I couldn’t be happier to see it.”

“Well, doesn’t take much to blow your skirt up, does it?”  Where the hell did _that_ come from?  She hadn’t been bold enough to say something like that in more than five years.  Unwittingly, Chris’ easiness with her was stirring up something of the old Erika, the smart, sassy, sexy young woman she had once been.

“Hah.  Let’s not go there…yet.  Besides, I’m more interested in learning what blows _your_ skirt up,” he said while giving her a too-innocent smile.

Was he, now?  Truly emboldened, Erika said, “Really?  Well, handsome men with a penchant for Italian food and terribly disfigured women certainly get my attention.”

“Erika,” he said, a warning in his voice.

“What?  After everything I’ve been through, my dear Christopher, I’ve certainly earned the right to take the piss out of myself from time to time.  But I’m the only one who can.  If anyone else ever dared try, I’d be more than happy to allow you to go all Captain America on their arse.”

“Don’t think I wouldn’t, either.  Nobody messes with my girl.”

“Oh, your girl, is it?”  She waved a fork in his direction as nonchalantly as she could, while her inner fan girl squealed in utter delight and her reserves began breaking down and melting away.  “Getting a little ahead of yourself, don’t you think?”

He smirked at her.  “Have you had any better offers?”

The left side of her mouth quirked up.  “Well, Gregory’s single.”

Chris threw his head back and brayed with laughter.  He had a loud laugh that was absolutely infectious and Erika found herself giggling along with him.  When he got himself under control, he wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes and said, “Erika, you’re too much.  There’s a cute little devil inside you.  I’m going to have to watch out for her.”

“Hmmm.  I think it might be the little angel you’ll have to be careful of, Christopher.  She’s the one you won’t see coming.”

Chris gave her a smile that was just about the sexiest thing she’d ever seen, even as his eyes still danced with laughter.  “Bring her on,” he said, his voice low and husky.  Erika’s toes curled in her pumps and something flared up in her belly, a low fire that sent heat through various parts of her body she’d truly thought lost to her.  She was stunned.  After the event, she thought she’d lost the ability to feel things like attraction, desire, affection, and just the plain old need to be close to someone, particularly for a man she was just getting to know.  Oh, certainly, she loved Gregory but he was a father figure to her; there was never anything even remotely romantic in their interactions these past five plus years.  But Christopher Robert Evans?  He was a whole other story.  He was truly dangerous, and as comfortable as she felt with him, she was still very much afraid of him, of what she could feel for him, of what he could do to her if he ever grew careless with her.  He didn’t seem the type but…   In an equally low and husky voice, she said, “Do be careful what you wish for, Christopher.”  She lowered her head, hiding her eyes from him.  “You might be disappointed.”

“With you?” he asked softly.  “I don’t think that’s possible, Erika.”

She looked up and met his eyes.  He felt his heart twist at the sadness, the pain, the fear he saw in hers.  “You might not think so after tonight.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” he said quietly.  He reached over and covered her hand with his, gratified when she didn’t pull away.  “Let’s finish dinner and get comfortable.  We have a lot to talk about.”

She nodded.  “That we do, dear Christopher, that we do.”

 

After packing up the leftovers, which Erika insisted Chris take home with him, she got out a bottle of wine, a corkscrew and two glasses and led him back to her little sitting room.  There were two Victorian wingback chairs and a rather large loveseat; Erika headed towards the wingbacks when she heard Chris call her name.  “Over here,” he said, pointing at the loveseat.  Oh, lord, sitting that close to him might not be such a good idea.  She had no say in the matter, however.  Chris plopped down on the loveseat and made himself comfortable.  He smiled at her and patted the cushion next to him.  With a sigh, she walked over to join him.  She noticed that he’d deliberately taken the seat to her right.

Chris took the wine and the corkscrew from her and made short work of opening the bottle of roscato she’d chosen.  She liked her wine sweet.  He didn’t mind; so did he.  He set aside the cork and the screw and poured generous amounts of the wine into the glasses then set the bottle aside as well.  He raised his glass to her.  “To us,” he said softly as he stared deeply into her beautiful hazel eyes.

“To…us…” she said hesitantly.  He tapped his glass against hers and took a sip of the wine, watching her all the while.  She took a sip from her glass as well, sighed, then took a longer drink.  _Nothing like sweet liquid courage_ , she thought.  “Well, I suppose I should start at the beginning…” she began but Chris held up a hand and gave her a sheepish grin.

“Could you hold that thought for a minute, sweetheart?  I kinda have to go to the – how do you Brits put it? – to the loo.  I don’t want to interrupt you once you get going so better that I excuse myself now.”  His grin widened at the smirk on Erika’s face as he handed her his glass.  “Sorry.  Be right back,” he said as he pushed himself off the loveseat and headed towards the bathroom.  Erika watched him walk away, admiring his tall, lean body and that amazing v-shaped torso.  He looked so handsome in his royal blue v-neck sweater, crisp white button down shirt and black dress pants.  Just as Mira would have said, he was the total package.  Good lord.  Wasn’t there a song that said nothing is more dangerous than a boy with charm?  Truer words were never written, and God knows they must have been written about Christopher Evans.

A couple of minutes later, he came back and dropped down onto the cushion next to her.  He took his wineglass back from her with one hand while, unthinkingly, he attempted to burrow his other hand under her hair.  She involuntarily flinched and recoiled from him, a momentary flash of memory scrolling in front of her eyes.  The animal who’d branded her used to reach for her the same way and it always resulted in her hair being savagely pulled…and worse.  She blinked away that particular horror and caught the sadness and hurt in Chris’ eyes as he held his hands up as though in surrender.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  Did I do something wrong?  Did I remind you of something bad?”

She shuddered as tears clouded her eyes.  “Oh, God, Christopher, please, forgive me.  I wasn’t reacting to you, per se.  It was just that particular gesture…never ended up being a good touch, for lack of a better way of putting it.  I know in my heart you wouldn’t hurt me; I think that’s why I let you touch me earlier but I…” she trailed off with a helpless shrug.  “Bear with me, please?  It’s been a long time since someone has touched me with affection, not malice.  I mean, even Gregory keeps his distance most of the time.  Something as simple as a hug can set me off, a lesson poor Gregory learned the hard way.”

“Oh, Erika, sweetheart, like I told you before, where you lead, I will follow.  We can take this as slow as you need to.  What you went through was obviously really traumatic and you never got the proper help to overcome it.  I understand, I do.  You set the pace.  You tell me when you do and don’t feel comfortable with anything – and I mean _anything_ – I do or say.  I’m here for you, in every way I can be.  I don’t plan on going anywhere.  I’m right where I want to be.”

Erika studied him for a long moment.  Chris could see the myriad thoughts and emotions that swirled in her eyes.  She wanted to believe him, he could see that, plain as day.  But she was also terrified of him, he could see that too.  It scared her that they were already so comfortable around each other.  It scared her that he could want her as much as he obviously did.  He tried to hide his desire for her but it was near impossible.  He’d long known what he wanted in a woman and the one sitting next to him ticked off everything on his must-have list.  He meant what he said:  he was willing to wait her out for as long as it took because, deep down, he was certain she was worth the time and effort.  The problem was, how did he get her to believe that, to believe in him?

“How can you say that, Christopher?  You haven’t heard anything yet.  You have no idea how truly damaged I am, how much baggage I carry.”  She set her wine glass on the floor and got up from the loveseat.  She walked a few feet away.  Chris could see the tension in her body, the way she was unconsciously trying to distance herself from him.  He was about to speak when she suddenly turned around to face him.  “They tried to break me, Christopher, and they damn near succeeded.”  Head lowered, she shuddered and wrapped her arms around her middle, tears tracing random paths down her cheeks.  “Five and a half years ago, Christopher, I was kidnapped, beaten, and tortured, slowly, methodically, repeatedly.”  She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye.  “And, as if that wasn’t enough, I was gang-raped.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I forget (because I do things like that - forget, I mean), the rating for the next chapter will be MATURE. While I don't go into very graphic detail, I don't sugar coat "the event" and its aftermath. Check the tags again, good people; if stuff like that is a trigger for you, tread lightly. Ye've been warned, me hearties.


	7. Leave All Thoughts Of The World You Knew Before...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erika's story...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the previous chapter notes, I don't go into really graphic detail here - I leave that sort of thing to my writing gurus, Stephen King, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child - but I don't gloss over it or downplay it either. Your imagination can supply as much gore as it wants. Again, if the subjects of rape and torture rattle your cage, tread lightly. I mean, I've seen worse on AO3 but I don't want anyone freaking out on my watch. I want everyone to have fun in my sandbox.

            _She’d met Mira Rothschild when she came to the United States to start medical school.  They were both daughters of prominent, wealthy physicians but that’s where the similarities ended.  Mira was highly intelligent, but Erika was a child prodigy with an IQ of 162.  Mira had graduated from Columbia University magna cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in biology at the age of twenty, having skipped a few grades back in elementary school.  Erika had graduated summa cum laude from Oxford University in her native England with the English equivalent of a bachelor’s in medicine.  And she was only fifteen.  Mira had had no choice in medical schools.  Daddy had gone to Columbia, too, undergrad and medical school.  Mira, like her older brother before her, was to follow in daddy’s footsteps.  Erika had been actively recruited by no less than a dozen medical schools from around the world, six of them from the United States alone.  Her father left the choice up to her, although he lobbied hard for Erika to attend school in England.  However, when she decided on Columbia Medical School in New York, her father didn’t object.  He called an old acquaintance and fellow cardiologist, Dr. Alston Rothschild, and asked if he would let Erika live with his family, especially since both girls would be attending Columbia.  Dr. Rothschild wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea but to maintain appearances and appease his English colleague, he agreed.  Dr. Rothschild, for all his fame and wealth and roster of celebrity clients, was actually a miserable son of a bitch who constantly cheated on his wife (by this point, she was only in the marriage for the money and prestige it garnered her) and took no real notice of or interest in his three children, Alston, Jr., Mira, and David, except to take credit for their successes.  So, Erika was packed up and shipped off to New York City to begin the career she’d set her sights on as a four year old._

_At first, Mira didn’t really want to have anything to do with the young, freakishly smart English girl who’d invaded her home.  But, after a couple of months, Mira realized Erika was mature well beyond her years and was very easy to talk to.  In a household where it was pretty much every person for themselves, it was nice to finally have someone she could talk to…and rely upon.  Soon, Erika became the best friend/sister Mira had never had.  Oh sure, she had a large circle of friends, some closer to her than others, but she didn’t have a real confidante, someone she could share her deepest, darkest secrets with until Erika came along._

_Because Erika, an absolutely stunning brunette who already stood five feet seven at the age of sixteen and was built, as Mira put it, like a “brick shithouse,” could pass for much older, wild child Mira got her friend a fake ID and started dragging Erika along to various restaurants, clubs and bars.  Erika wasn’t a big partier by nature, so she sat down with Mira and told her she’d be happy to accompany her tall (at five foot ten) and willowy blonde friend to dinner once a week, and to a club or bar once a weekend.  Mira pouted and cajoled Erika to change her mind but to no avail.  Erika was too focused on her studies and her future career to throw it all away by hanging out all the time.  For a while, it looked like Erika was rubbing off on Mira and becoming a calming influence over the blonde but that would last for a few months then Mira would be right back to running the streets again.  That behavior lasted all through med school; Erika often wondered how Mira was able to maintain a decent grade point average and complete all her classes on time when she spent most of her free time partying all around New York City.  But the girls finally graduated, Erika at the top of the class (naturally) and Mira in the top ten (surprisingly).  Erika was now almost twenty and Mira was about to turn twenty-five.  They stayed on at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, where they’d done their internships and they talked about leaving the Rothschild homestead and striking out on their own.  But when Mira’s father got wind of their plans, he threatened to withhold Mira’s trust money and mess up Erika’s work visa by forcing her out of his home then reporting her to Immigration.  Erika had grown to hate the Rothschild family and would have loved nothing more than to pack up her bags and walk out without a glance behind but the paperwork for her green card hadn’t come through yet and the elder Dr. Rothschild could, and would, make life miserable for her.  She couldn’t turn to her parents; they would never believe her.  Dr. Rothschild had been nothing but good to her, how could she say such things about her host?  As it was, she was already somewhat estranged from her mother and father; neither of them had been happy when Erika announced she was staying in the United States to do her hospital residency and hoped to become a permanent resident.  Erika loved London, loved England with all her heart, but there was something about New York that she loved just as much and here was where she wanted to stay._

_Another two years went by and Erica was specializing in trauma medicine.  That was truly her calling and she excelled in it.  She went about her work and stayed out of Dr. and Mrs. Rothschild’s way when she was home.  But she was really starting to worry about Mira.  Her friend’s behavior became a bit wilder and at times, she acted erratically.  Erika began to suspect that maybe Mira was taking drugs but the more she studied Mira, the more she realized that Mira’s problems didn’t stem from drugs – Mira was most likely suffering from undiagnosed bipolar disorder.  Erika tried talking to Mira about sitting down with a psychiatrist and talking out her problems in the hopes that she could be properly diagnosed and treated with medications that would keep her steady and solid and able to work.  Mira had decided to specialize in internal medicine and she was a good doctor but her mood swings were becoming more frequent and more prevalent and she was in constant danger of losing her job.  Mira would wave aside Erika’s concerns and continue to live her life just as she’d been doing.  But things were spiraling out of control and fast.  By the time Mira had turned thirty and Erika was approaching twenty-five, Mira’s relationship with her father had almost completely deteriorated and the two argued constantly.  Erika kept telling Mira to strike out on her own – she was making her own money now and Alston, Sr. couldn’t touch the trust fund money that had already been dispersed to Mira.  But Mira stubbornly clung to her place in the truly dysfunctional Rothschild household and nothing Erika could say would budge her.  Erika was approaching the end of her patience.  She couldn’t be around such cold, unfeeling people.  She felt badly for Mira but she had to save her own sanity.  Erika knew that her green card was about to come through and that once she got that, she would no longer be beholden to – or a prisoner of – Alston Rothschild.  Unfortunately, she would never get a chance to taste the sweet freedom that waited just around the corner._

_One night, a few days after Erika’s twenty-fifth birthday, Mira and Dr. Rothschild got into a horrible knockdown, drag out fight.  They screamed at each other, called each other the ugliest, filthiest names they could think of.  Unable to take any more and determined to remove Mira from the situation, Erika went downstairs only to see Mira run out the front door and jump into her car.  The Rothschild home was in Scarsdale, New York; Mira was undoubtedly heading for the city.  Erika waited several minutes to see if her brothers, both of whom were home, would go out after their sister.  Nothing.  She knew Dr. Rothschild wasn’t going to lift a finger to get Mira back.  She gave the older man, who simply stood in his living room with a smug smirk on his face, the nastiest look she could muster then headed upstairs to grab her car keys, her driver’s license and about two hundred dollars in small bills, enough to get her into the places that had cover charges while she looked for her friend.  Erika was in such a hurry that she ran out without any credit cards or other ID, something she’d trained herself never to do but she’d seen the wild-eyed look on Mira’s face as she ran out the door and Erika knew she had to get on the road as quickly as possible._

_Erika had hit two of Mira’s favorite clubs before she found the tall blonde in a dive bar on the Lower East Side.  A mutual friend Erika ran into at the second club told her where Mira was headed.  Mira was practically shit-faced by the time Erika caught up to her; she was appalled that her friend had driven in the state she was in.  Even drunk, Mira knew enough to take a limousine service and leave the car to be picked up the next day when she was sober._

_Erika was desperately unhappy that the two of them were down in that neighborhood on their own at that hour.  Whenever they came to this bar, they would always be in a fairly large group so they were safe.  Two women alone, with one of them almost falling down drunk, were prime targets.  Erika had found a parking space only a few doors down from the bar; she hoped she and Mira could make it that far without any problems.  She simply wanted to pour Mira into the front seat, slide herself in behind the wheel and get the hell out of Dodge.  She had a friend, a fellow trauma doctor, who lived a few blocks away from the hospital in a huge pre-war apartment.  The friend had a guest room and would gladly put Erika and Mira up for a couple of days while they figured out what their next steps would be.  They surely couldn’t go back to live in the Rothschild house.  That atmosphere was toxic to both of them.  It was time to strike out on their own.  Erika knew Mira would be better for it._

_Erika managed to get Mira on her feet and over to the door.  She used Mira’s credit card to pay the tab, having left her own.  Throwing her friend’s arm around her shoulders and grabbing the drunken girl around the waist, Erika got Mira out of the bar and halfway to her car.  They never made it all the way._

_The two young women were roughly grabbed from behind and dragged into a nearby alley.  Mira was too drunk to put up a fight but Erika, who’d had years of martial arts training, put up a good fight but to no avail.  There was only one of her and five or six of them.  She was punched and kicked repeatedly until the fight went out of her.  She prayed that they would just rob her and Mira and leave them in that filthy alley but her prayers went unanswered.  She and Mira were thrown into the back of an equally filthy van and driven God knew where.  They were dragged out of the van after what seemed like hours and taken into a dilapidated building.  They were shoved into an apartment where half a dozen more men were hanging out, drinking, smoking weed and doing other types of drugs.  Because she was the fighter, she was bound and gagged and thrown back against a wall.  She landed in a seated position and from there, she watched as no less than six men beat Mira bloody, yanked out her hair by the roots, sliced at her arms, legs and torso with various knives, and, one by one, raped her vaginally, anally, and orally.  Mira, sober by the time they’d arrived at the apartment, seemed to go into some kind of vegetative state while she was being brutalized.  She was awake, but she just wasn’t there.  And that had to be some kind of blessing, Erika thought, that sweet, mindless oblivion Mira was in.  Erika cried every time someone did something to her best friend.  She began to think she would never run out of tears.  And she knew it was only a matter of time before it was her turn._

_After they couldn’t find any more atrocities to commit on Mira’s almost lifeless body, the apparent leader of the group, a tall, heavyset, olive skinned Latino named Manny, pulled out a lethal looking stiletto knife, straddled Mira, and went to work carving a symbol into Mira’s right cheek that Erika could see was painted on the wall, just above the words, “Satan’s Own.”  Apparently, that was the name of this gang, a group comprised of Latinos, African Americans, a couple of Caucasians and one guy who was possibly Filipino.  This Manny guy took an almost obscene pleasure in carving up Mira’s heretofore smooth cheek.  He delighted in the amount of blood that gushed over his fingers.  He made several other deep cuts around the symbol, effectively destroying the right side of Mira’s face.  He stood up and then he delivered a savage kick to her face, right where the symbol was.  Erika was certain that blow killed her best friend.  No way she survived something like that.  But, she did.  Mira was still alive, technically.  Well, she was still breathing.  But she was beyond help, beyond saving.  She might as well be dead.  Erika watched as Manny turned to her.  “Your turn, puta,” he said with a grin.  He looked around him.  “Let’s go, boys, fresh meat.”_

_Erika was subjected to almost the same punishment as poor Mira, only she wasn’t blessed with slipping into that same oblivion Mira had escaped to.  While she felt everything, every single thing that was done to her, she never begged for mercy.  She never even spoke to them, which seemed to take the wind out of their sails.  Mira had begged for her and Erika’s lives, not that her pleas were heeded; if anything, her pleas simply made them treat her more brutally.  It was plain to see that those monsters got off on the begging and pleading.  Erika wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of hearing her beg and this appeared to make brutalizing her, as one of them put it, “not as much fun.”_

_At one point, Manny decided his crew needed a break.  They ordered pizza, of all things, and sat around eating it while watching TV.  It didn’t seem to bother them that they had one almost dead woman in their midst and another who was badly beaten and bleeding from a dozen different places.  It was during this “break” that Erika heard a news broadcast on the TV and realized she and Mira had been with these savages for almost three days.  Erika must have drifted in and out of consciousness so much that she lost track of time.  She listened intently to the news broadcast but heard no mention of either Mira or herself.  The Rothschilds hadn’t filed missing persons reports on them.  Jesus Christ.  Erika vowed that if she lived through this, someday, somehow, some way, she was going to out Alston Rothschild, Sr. for the monstrous son of a bitch he really was._

_Erika was just beginning to hope that these men had gotten tired of their games and either killed them or dumped them somewhere but no such luck.  Manny decided break time was over and Erika was raped and beaten all over again.  Then, finally, Manny sat on her chest and pulled out the stiletto.  As he carved up her face like he did Mira’s, he told her that she would spend the rest of her life bearing the mark of the men of “Satan’s Own” and that if, by some miracle, she survived, the mark on her face would serve as a bounty and she, and anyone she was with, would be hunted and killed by one of “Satan’s Own.”  “This,” Manny said as he sliced the soft skin of Erika’s cheek, “is your death warrant, puta.  I’m not going to kill you but you better pray for death because if you live and one of my men sees this mark, you and whoever you are with will die.  That is a promise, puta.  A fucking guarantee.”  He finished carving up her face and stood, ready to deliver that final kick when one of his men said, “Come on, Manny, that’s enough.  Let’s just get these carcasses out of here and get back to business.”_

_Erika must have blessedly lost consciousness because the next thing she knew, she was being shoved out of a moving vehicle.  She rolled to a stop against a building.  She was face up.  She realized she was looking up at a theatre marquee.  They’d dumped her in the theatre district.  She slowly turned her head, hoping they’d tossed Mira out after her but she wasn’t there.  Erica shed more tears for the loss of her best friend.  Moments later, she heard a male voice say, “Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell?  Miss, Miss, can you hear me?”  She saw the face of an older man hover above her and she flinched but, somehow, she knew this man was going to help her.  And he did.  He carefully gathered her up and brought her into the theatre.  It was the Saturday night of a long holiday weekend.  The theatre was between productions and there was only a skeleton crew operating during the days.  The man’s name was Gregory Wilson and he was the theatre’s long time night guard.  He was on duty until Monday, having volunteered to do two double shifts back to back.  He was a widower who’d lost his wife and two sons in a car accident ten years earlier, so he had no one to go home to.  He brought her into one of the bigger dressing rooms and did his best to clean her up.  He told her he wanted to call the police but she was able to find her voice and told him no.  She was terrified and paranoid.  It was like nothing Greg had ever seen.  He washed her up as best he could without touching her intimate parts.  He left her covered up and sleeping in the dressing room while he ran out to get medical supplies.  He stitched up the deeper cuts, put butterfly bandages on the shallow ones.  Regrettably, there was nothing he could do about her badly damaged face except clean out the cuts and put bandages on it.  He looked after her, got her to eat some soup and crackers and drink some juice until finally, on the evening of her second full day at the theatre, she was lucid enough to tell him everything that had happened.  He was shocked, appalled, disgusted and saddened.  He again tried to talk her into going to the police but again she refused.  So he appointed himself her protector and told her that he was going to take her down to the theatre’s lower basement where there were props and furniture left over from the theatre’s earliest days.  She could stay down there until she was well enough to get around on her own.  He sounded so optimistic that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was claiming the basement as her home…and more than likely, she was never leaving it again.  Who would want to deal with her once they saw the mess those animals had made of her face, once they found out that she’d been raped and sodomized repeatedly?  She was a broken, severely damaged woman and all that she’d accomplished before this could never make what had happened to her go away.  She was doomed to live the rest of her life in the shadows, with no one but a kindly older theatre guard to help her adjust to her new life.  Would she be missed?  Would her family send someone to look for her?  Would the Rothschilds give a good fuck and look for Mira and her?  Deep down she doubted it.  Oh, her family might raise a stink but what could they do from across the Atlantic?  Her life, as she knew it, was over.  Goodbye, Frances Elizabeth Sheffield, doctor of emergency trauma medicine.  Hello, Erika, the Phantom of the Booth Theatre._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more of Erika's story to come; stay tuned for the next chapter.


	8. Hide Your Face So The World Will Never Find You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erika continues her story; Chris makes his intentions known...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Her story is still a little graphic and there is a mention of suicide so, you know, warning and all that.

Erika shuddered from the memories that relentlessly assaulted her but she was determined to go on and give Chris the full story.  He deserved to hear everything so that he could make an informed decision as to whether he’d stay…or go.  “Mira’s body was found two weeks later.  She’d washed up on Jersey side of the Hudson.  The Rothschilds didn’t report us missing until we’d been gone almost an entire week.  Since Mira was dead and I was still missing and presumed dead, there was hardly any way the police could backtrack and find out what had happened to us.  They were able to place us at that dive bar but once we left, it was as if we’d vanished into thin air.  Our cars were right where we’d left them so that was no help to them.  Gregory has several close friends on the NYPD.  He was able to keep up with the investigation through them.  They had nothing to go on.  And, no surprise here, they got less than nothing from the Rothschilds.  Alston wouldn’t even admit that he’d fought with Mira the night she went missing and his idiot wife and sons were too apathetic to contradict him.  Mira’s memorial service was planned by our friends.  As I understand it, the Rothschilds showed up but were blocked from entering the service by a few of the bigger guys.  My friend, the one whose apartment I had planned to take us to, came out and told the Rothschilds that if they didn’t care enough about Mira in life to report her missing in a timely fashion, then she wasn’t going to be party to their hypocrisy as they ‘mourned’ her death.  They were turned away and our friends applauded.  I wish I could have been there.  I would have been the one to send them away.

“Gregory saw something in the Times that said my family had held a memorial service for me in London.  By all accounts, they seemed pretty upset.  They also called out Dr. Rothschild for not doing anything help find me or Mira.  Two years ago, Dr. Rothschild committed suicide by hanging himself in the bathroom of his office at Lenox Hill Hospital.  In the note he left, he admitted that he’d fought with Mira the night we went missing and that instead of going after her himself, he just sat back and let me go looking for her.  He said it took him a while to come to terms with the fact that he was directly responsible for what happened to us and now that he had, he couldn’t live with himself.  Gregory told me that the autopsy report was nothing short of brutal.  Because she’d been in the water for so long, her body was in even worse shape than when she went in and, of course, any trace of evidence that was left behind had been washed away.  The medical examiner listed everything he did find:  the severe tearing in her vagina and rectum, the knife wounds and bite marks all over her body, the skull fractures, the various disarticulated joints, her shattered facial bones, her almost pulverized ribs.  I got off lucky, by contrast.  My ribs were broken, I had deep cuts and enormous bruises all over my body, my hair had been ripped out by the roots in some places, my face had been destroyed, and yes, I was raped vaginally and anally but I hadn’t been completely torn apart like Mira.  As I said, the more she begged, the worse they treated her.  My silence should have made them angrier but it didn’t.  My silence made me less of a good time.  Sick, don’t you think?”  She didn’t wait for a response from the shaken and ashen Christopher.

“Anyway, once the Rothschilds saw the autopsy report, Alston apparently began to spiral into a deep depression.  I really don’t think he’d anticipated that his daughter’s last few hours of life were spent so horrifically.  He probably thought Mira had insisted we hole up somewhere, as a way of getting back at him, and that’s why he didn’t report us missing until Gregory showed up.  Once he found out that wasn’t the case and that maybe he could have done something, anything, to try to find us…well, those thoughts led him to swing from the end of a rope.  It was only after he died that his wife and two sons finally came clean about what an asshole Alston truly was and how miserable their lives were.  And none of this, absolutely nothing, has done anything to make me feel better.  That all belongs to another time, another place.  It won’t bring Mira back and it won’t erase what was done to us.”  Erika, her voice hoarse despite repeated sips of wine and the water Chris had brought her at one point during her soliloquy, sat in the loveseat next to him, her arms still around her midsection, her face tear-stained from all the crying she’d done.  “Still,” she continued, “I feel like I haven’t finished crying.  Like I will never finish crying.  Who knew one person could shed so many tears?”

Chris just watched her.  He didn’t know what to do with himself.  He was angry, bone deep pissed off at the sadistic, _insane_ brutality that was visited upon Erika and her best friend.  What kind of animals were these people?  Didn’t they have mothers, sisters?  Would they want the females in their lives to suffer through something as horrific as what they did to these two innocent women, both of whom had taken oaths to help people, to “first do no harm”?  And right there, standing shoulder to shoulder with his anger was his compassion for this strong, beautiful woman who was still in so much pain.  His heart ached for her.  He wanted so much to take her in his arms and just hold her and share his strength with her and comfort her but he didn’t dare touch her.  He wasn’t sure how she’d react.  Watching and listening to her relate that awful story was one of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life.  Not being able to do anything to help her was one of the worst feelings he’d ever experienced.  One thing he knew for sure was that Erika was the strongest woman he’d ever met.  Someone else would have been crushed under the weight of having to live with what was done to her.  While she still had a long way to go towards being healed, she’d managed to forge a new life for herself, albeit amid solitude and darkness.  She could have easily taken the same path as Mira’s father and ended it all.  Greg mentioned his having to talk her off the ledge more than once.  Had she considered taking her own life?  He imagined she might have on those days when everything was just too hard to handle.  But she showed some more of that strength he saw in her and deeply admired, and she lived to fight another day.  She was something else.

Erika finally quieted.  She felt tired, wrung out but pleased that she hadn’t flipped out while telling the story, as she had done a time or two in the past while discussing it with Gregory.  She sighed, wiped her face with her trembling hands and finally turned to face Chris, whom she had not looked at once while she was sitting next to him.  His face was ashen, gray, his eyes shiny with unshed tears.  He looked equal parts angry and sad.  He was angry on her behalf, and she found she was grateful for that, but he was sad for her, too, and that soothed her because she knew somehow that he was sad for all she had lost – her best friend, her connection to her family, the career she’d worked so hard to attain.  This wasn’t pity in his eyes.  He didn’t pity her; she wouldn’t have been able to bear it if he did.  This man, for reasons only he knew, cared about her and did his best to understand her.  He listened to her story without comment, let her get through it without throwing out pathetic platitudes.  He sensed that she needed to get it all out and that she needed him to hear it all so that he could decide what he wanted to do next.  And, it was apparent that what he wanted to do was stay.   She slowly, tentatively held a hand out to him.  He gave her a quick look of surprise but reached out and took her hand.  “I can’t believe you’re still here.  Anyone else would have probably run for the hills about halfway through that story.”

“I told you I’d be here for you.  And I’m not just ‘anyone.’”  He shrugged as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“No, you most certainly are not just ‘anyone.’  I’m thankful for that.”  She paused, looked down at their joined hands then looked up into his eyes.  “Do you see now why I say I’m damaged goods?”

“I don’t see you that way.  And there is nothing you can say or do that will ever get me to see you that way.  What happened to you – you didn’t look for that, you didn’t purposely put yourself in harm’s way.  You were doing a good thing.  You were helping a friend in need.  Instead of repaying your kindness, the universe screwed you over in a really fucking spectacular way.  You didn’t deserve it, neither of you did.  But you certainly didn’t court it.  If you had, then I would have to say you were damaged in some way because, honestly, who would do that to themselves?  But you and Mira were innocent victims in all this.  I’m sure part of what you’re feeling comes from survivors’ guilt – why did I live and my best friend die?  You really could use some one on one with a professional counselor.  I could help you find one.  Maybe get you started on your road back into the light…”

“Did you not hear the part where I said this mark is a death warrant, Christopher?  This is why I went into hiding, why I couldn’t bring myself to go to the police and try to help them catch these animals.  The symbol on Mira’s cheek was so distorted and, disgusting as this sounds, eaten at by the creatures in the Hudson, they couldn’t tell what it was otherwise the police might have realized her death came at the hands of the Satan’s Sons gang.  But I wasn’t completely in my right mind when Gregory found me and I was scared to death and utterly paranoid so, in my terrified mind, going to the police wasn’t an option.  I believed what that animal Manny said.  If I’m seen and the symbol is recognized, they will kill me and whoever I’m with.  I can’t put anyone in jeopardy like that.  If they ever catch up to me and my time has come, so be it.  But I won’t have someone I care about killed simply because they had the misfortune of being seen with me.  I already lost one person I love to those bastards, I won’t let them claim another.”

“Gangs come and go, Erika.  Are they even active still?”

“As I said, Gregory has friends on the force and he keeps tabs on the case through them.  The Satan’s Sons gang is still quite active and they have branches on the Lower East Side, in parts of Harlem, up in the Bronx and in parts of Brooklyn.  And their leader is a guy named Manny Ocasio.  The guy who did this to me was named Manny.  I’m thinking that’s not a coincidence.”

“So you’re staying down here out of fear?”

Erika smiled grimly.  “They say fear is a great motivator.  Well, fear is motivating my arse to stay well and truly put.”

“I want to take you out of here, Erika.”

She squeezed his hand then pulled hers out of his grip as she stood.  “Then you may have to find yourself another girl, Christopher.”

Did she just say he’d have to find…?  “Did you just tell me I’ll have to find myself another girl?” he asked, incredulous.

Erika walked over to one of the wingchairs and sat down.  She angled her body so she could face a not so happy Chris, who had disbelief written all over his face.  “Now that I’ve become so adept at applying theatrical makeup, I’ll take the occasional walk outside.  I might even go far enough out of my comfort zone to visit a friend in the hospital,” Erika said, giving Chris a sad smile.  “But to go out there to stay, to show my real face to the world again?  To put myself and those close to me in unnecessary danger?  I can’t do it.  I won’t do it.  It’s not worth it, Christopher.  The world has forgotten about me.  It’s forgotten about Mira.  It’s moved on without us.  And…that’s all right.  I have everything I need right here.  I reckon I’m good until Gregory decides to retire.  When that day comes, well, I’ll figure it out.”

A tense silence fell between them.  It was so quiet, Chris could hear the soft hissing of the candles’ flames.  He watched her, watched how she looked everywhere but at him.  How could she say those things?  How could she dismiss everything that was going on between them?  Something started growing between them from that very first night when she’d saved his life.  What he felt for her wasn’t just the infatuation a victim of a crime feels for their rescuer, their hero.  He’d begun to develop real feelings for her from the moment she began to massage his temples that night – and they developed even further when she risked everything by coming to see him in the hospital.  By the time he arrived at the theatre tonight, he knew that he wanted a chance with her, that he would do whatever was necessary to bring her back into the light.  He would find her the best counselors to talk to, he would engage the finest plastic surgeons to try to repair her face.  The cuts that bastard had carved into her face were too deep to ever really be erased or completely smoothed over but he was sure there were surgeons who could do something for her.  And he would pay for everything.  It would be the best money he’d ever spent, if it meant he could try to give her back some semblance of normalcy, that he could try to start a real life with her.

“But what about us, Erika?  What about giving us a chance?  You certainly can’t tell me you don’t feel it, this thing that’s between us.  You can’t sit there and tell me you’re not as attracted to me as I am to you.”  He pointed over to the stack of DVDs he’d looked through earlier.  “You can’t tell me you aren’t harboring some kind of crush – one that has a chance to become something more.”

Erika sat and stared at Chris, her cheeks aflame.  He was right, damn it all.  Her crush on Christopher was one of epic proportions and, by some miracle – or truly weird circumstance, the object of said crush was actually sitting in front of her in all of his incredibly gorgeous glory.  _And_ , he was attracted to her.  _To her,_ destroyed face and all!  Why he was, she could not even begin to comprehend.  What was there about her, this strange, disfigured, shrouded individual who lived in the basement of an old Broadway theatre, never ventured out in public unless heavily disguised, and who everyone that did see her in the theatre thought was a ghost?  Why in the name of all that was good and holy would he want to become involved with a woman who was merely a shell of the good looking, sexy, sassy professional she once was?  “Why?” she asked quietly.

Chris flinched.  _Why?_   She wanted to know _why_?  “You want a list?” he asked, a mix of frustration and temper in his voice.  He watched as her back straightened, a blatant challenge clearly visible in those amazing hazel eyes.  “If you think you can provide one, I’d love to hear it,” she responded, her English accent heavy and clipped, her demeanor screaming that she didn’t think he could.

“Oh, I can provide one, _Frances_ ,” he said, using her actual given name.  Now it was Erika’s turn to flinch.  She hadn’t heard herself called that since Mira had begged for mercy from their captors.  When Gregory found her, she had had enough presence of mind to not give him her real name for fear that he would call the police behind her back.  From the moment that savage Manny had disfigured her, the only thing that kept crossing her mind was the deformed, masked figure from Leroux’s _Phantom of the Opera_ , Erik.  Well, from that night on, she was no longer Frances…she was Erika.  “I have a list, sweetheart, and it’s this, in no particular order.  One, you are, without question, the strongest woman I’ve ever met.  To have gone through what you did, without actually losing your mind, takes a will of iron and you’ve got that in spades, babe.  Two, you’re intelligent.  I like smart women; that’s a real turn on.  Three, you have a good heart and I know that because you threw yourself into the middle of a dangerous situation to help a stranger, with no thought for your own safety or how it could come back to bite you in the ass.  Four, you have a great sense of humor and, despite your situation, you don’t take yourself too seriously and _I love that_.  That’s another major turn on.  And five, you’re beautiful and you’ve got a body to die for.  Sorry, don’t mean to objectify you, but you truly do it for my inner caveman and that’s a real bonus.  However, for the record, I’d still be into you for the first four reasons alone.  You’ve got everything I want in a woman.  And I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of your visible scars.  They don’t take away from who you are.”  Chris got up from the loveseat and slowly approached Erika.  She watched him warily but didn’t move.  He knelt down in front of her and reached for her hands, pleased that she let him take them in his.  “And who you are, Erika, is who I want.  We’ll see what we can do about the external scars but it’s the internal ones I really want to help you with.  And I think that with the right person by your side, you can heal those scars.”  His voice lowered to a soft, sexy whisper.  “I want a chance to be that right person, Erika.  Give me – give us – that chance.  Please.”

Erika stared into Chris’ brilliant blue eyes and saw nothing but truth.  He really meant everything he said.  “My God, Christopher, who are you?  How can someone like you, handsome, successful, sought after in so many ways, be interested in someone like me?  Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take me to feel comfortable enough, unafraid enough, to re-enter the world as you know it?  To take my place by your side?  Oh, my God, what the _hell_ am I saying?”  She pulled her hands out of his and stood up, carefully skirting around the still-kneeling Chris.  She walked over to her desk and picked up the DVD case of _What’s Your Number?_   “Where do I get off being so presumptuous?  _Take my place by your side._   Did you hear that drivel I just spouted?  I’m sorry, Christopher.  I have no right to even think that way.”

Chris stood and turned to look at her.  He wanted with every fiber of his being to go to her and take her in his arms but, again, he wasn’t sure how she’d react and he didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was.  “You have every right to think that way, Erika.  I pretty much just handed myself over to you on the proverbial silver platter.  I have feelings for you.  I want you.  I want to be with you.  I want to be the one man who makes you realize that you _can_ step back into the light and live the life you deserve.  I know it’s going to take time and a lot of work – there is no way we can blow off or in any way discount the horrors that you’ve been through – but I am willing to put in the time and do the work.  I’ve never felt like this about anyone, ever.  I’m kind of blown away by it myself.  But I’d like to think my mother raised a good man, and a good man wouldn’t walk away from a woman who could make him really happy.  You could make me really happy, Erika.  We owe it to ourselves to try to make this work.”

Erika looked down at the DVD cover.  “What is it that Ally says towards the end of the film?  ‘I’m happiest when I’m myself, and I’m myself when I’m with you.’”  She turned to face him.  “In this past month, Christopher, since you came back to the theatre and we had our little ‘war of the roses,’ I’ve felt more alive than I have in five and a half years.  I actually began to feel like Frances Sheffield again…and it was a wonderful feeling.”  She cocked her head to one side.  “You gave me that.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am.  But I don’t want to confuse gratitude with attraction.  I don’t want to lead you on in any way.  I don’t…what are you doing?” she said, her eyes widening and her breath hitching as he started walking towards her, his eyes, his entire demeanor, intense.

“I’m going to prove a point,” he said as he came up to her and gently crowded her against the desk.  “I’m also going to show you that not every man means you harm when he touches you.”  He brought his hands up to gently cup her face, his left palm covering the scars on her cheek.

“Chris,” she said, her voice shaking, her whole body trembling, not from fear but from very real, very potent desire.

“Don’t look now, babe, but you just called me Chris,” he said with a smile as he brought her face to his.  “Say it again, sweetheart,” he said softly, his mouth just a hair’s breadth away from hers.  “Say my name.”

“Chris,” she responded with a sigh, a sigh that turned into a soft moan as his lips covered hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and the comments. Keep 'em coming! I love to see people's reactions to this story.


	9. Touch Me, Trust Me, Savor Each Sensation...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found a dream, that I could speak to  
> A dream that I can call my own  
> I found a thrill to press my cheek to  
> A thrill that I have never known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for Holsvick, my favorite constant reader (and idea-bouncer-off'er)

Sweet.  Soft.  Hot.  Amazing.  Kissing Erika was all those things and more.  Chris was thrilled that she didn’t push him away or fight him.  She shook like a leaf in the wind when he first pressed his lips to hers but the moment her mouth opened under his and his tongue chased hers in a sensual dance, the shaking stopped and she wrapped her arms around his waist.  He took his hands from her face and buried one in her hair while he splayed the other against the small of her back and pulled her tightly against him.  He had no idea how long they stood there, lost in that heart-stopping kiss, but the need for air made itself known and Chris finally pulled away enough to whisper, “Jesus, Erika, that was incredible.”

Erika slowly opened her eyes and stared into his.  “Point taken,” was all she said before she leaned up and kissed him, taking him completely by surprise.  He was delighted, though, and returned her kiss with everything he had.  Another few long moments passed before they broke the kiss, Erika immediately burrowing her face in the crook of his neck as he tightened his arms around her and pressed a soft kiss on the spot just beneath her ear.  He smiled when he felt her shiver.  They embraced for a long time, neither of them saying a word, both finding that they didn’t need any.  Chris had made his intentions quite clear and by her accepting his kiss and giving him one of her own, she acknowledged and acceded to those intentions.  For the first time since those horrible days in that dilapidated building, Erika found herself willing to let someone into her heart, someone who wasn’t a father figure, someone who could give her back that piece of herself – everything that made her a woman – and start making her whole again.  This man could be that someone.  This man was.  Finally, she moved, pulling back enough to look him in the eyes.  “So,” she said softly, a little smile playing about her lips, “I guess this makes me your girl...?”

“Oh, you bet your sweet ass it does,” Chris said with a chuckle.  He bent his head and gave her a quick peck on the lips.  “Let’s celebrate!”

Erika laughed.  Chris was adorable when he was happy and excited.  “I think I’ve had my fill of wine this evening.”

“Nah, I was thinking we should…dance!”

“Dance?”  Well, wasn’t he full of surprises?

“Sure.  I love to dance.  Don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” she said, “Of course I do but…”

“Do you have music on your laptop?”  She nodded.  “Well then, fire it up!  Come on, the evening is still young.  Let’s have some fun, Erika.  It’s high time you cut loose a little.”  He stepped out of their embrace and turned her towards her laptop.  “Dancing by candlelight with my best girl.  I can’t think of anything more romantic and fun.”

“’Best girl,’ huh?” she said with a grin as she turned on her laptop and brought up the media player.  “You’re channeling Steve Rogers, my dear.”  In keeping with the Captain America theme he’d inadvertently brought up, Erika, a long-time fan of big band music, pulled up her Glenn Miller playlist and queued up “Moonlight Serenade.”  At the first strains of the song, Chris let out a bark of laughter then grabbed her hand, gave her a twirl and expertly brought her into his arms.  As they began to sway to the music, she marveled at what a really good dancer he was.  She grinned at the surprise on his face.  She was pretty good herself.

“You’re terrific, babe!  Where did you learn how to dance?”

“My grandfather on my mother’s side.  He was quite the bon vivant during World War II and an amazing dancer.  He made sure all of his grandchildren could hold their own on the dance floor.  I seemed to have a special affinity for both the music and the style of dancing for that era so I took to it like a fish to water, much to his delight.  He spent lots of time teaching me.”  She smiled at the memory.  “Those were really wonderful times.  I miss him so much.”

“Did he…” Chris let the question hang.

“Prostate cancer.  Diagnosed too late, gone within six months.  But, at least he got to see me graduate from Oxford.  He died a year after that.  I took a week off from school to go to the funeral.  It was the last time I went home to England.  Medical school and everything just didn’t leave me time to go back and forth across the pond.  Besides, too much travel to England would have probably messed with my visa – that wasn’t a chance I was willing to take.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories during our celebration.”

Erika shook her head then pressed a kiss to his bearded jaw.  “Dancing to this music and thinking about my granddad only brings me happy memories, Christopher.  Those dance lessons were good times.  And now I have another sweet memory to add to those.”  She smiled as Chris kissed her forehead.

“Moonlight Serenade” segued into “Sunrise Serenade” which, in turn, segued into “In The Mood.”  Chris gave Erika a sly grin then led her into an energetic swing dance.  She laughed and decided she would show him a thing or two.  Chris was more than able to keep up with her, and she found herself losing more and more of her heart to him.  Sweet, charming, sincere, gorgeous, affectionate, _and_ an incredible dancer?  Could he be any more perfect?

They danced for a solid hour and that was the loveliest hour Erika had ever spent in a man’s arms.  For the first time in recent memory, she let herself have a good time and thought about nothing except this beautiful, amazing man.  They ended their little celebration with a slow dance to Glenn Miller’s version of “At Last,” although, truth be told, they spent more time kissing than dancing.  Tired but happy, she put on her Sinatra playlist and lowered the volume on the speakers.  She let Chris tow her over to the loveseat and laughed as he plopped down and pulled her down next to him.  He put his arm around her and gathered her close to him.  Sighing contentedly, she put her head on his shoulder and smiled when she felt him lay his cheek against the top of her head.  They sat that way, cuddled close, listening to Sinatra and not saying a word, for what seemed like an eternity.  She’d never experienced that with anyone.  With the other men she’d dated – those very few men, since she didn’t really have much time for a social life with her demanding career – there was always a need to fill any silences with some sort of chatter lest those silences seem awkward.  But that wasn’t the case with Chris.  He seemed at ease with the quiet, something that appealed to her very much since her whole life was nothing but quiet.

After a while, he shifted and she tilted her head back to look at him.  “Is there something wrong, Chris?” she asked softly.

He smiled.  “There you go again, you just called me Chris.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Are you going to make a habit of pointing it out whenever I do?”

Chris chuckled and shook his head.  “No, I’m just going to savor it because it means that you’re completely comfortable with me.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s something elegant and downright sexy about the way you say Christopher, but I like knowing that you’ve let me in enough to just be Chris to you.”

Erika giggled.  “That’s how you gauge my level of comfort with you?  By my using your preferred nickname?”

“Well, that…and this,” he said as he bent his head and took her mouth in a long, hot kiss.  Erika moaned as her tongue dueled with his and she felt his long fingers tangle in her hair.  She brought her hand up and fisted it in his sweater, pulling him closer to her.  Making out on her loveseat with an incredibly hot man after five and a half years of darkness and solitude – who would have thought it?  Certainly not her.  This was something she was sure she’d left behind after…no, she wasn’t going to let her mind go down that road.  Not when she had her arms full of sexy, delicious man.  A sexy, delicious man who seemed to think the same of her.  Well.  Maybe God hadn’t forsaken her after all.

A half hour of long kisses – and promises to see each other the next evening – later, Chris reluctantly got up from the loveseat and got ready to leave.  Erika couldn’t believe how heavy her heart suddenly felt.  This was crazy, wasn’t it?  All these years of solitude and after one evening, she was actually dreading being left alone?  Damn it, she knew this man was going to be trouble on that very first night.  But, he was the kind of trouble she thought she could learn to live with.

Chris’ voice broke into her reverie.  “Walk me to the elevator, sweetheart?”

Erika smiled up at him.  “Of course.”  She took his outstretched hand and let him pull her up off the loveseat.  Keeping her hand in his, they walked past the old desk, from which he grabbed his hat and scarf, and headed towards her bed, where he’d left his jacket and the shopping bag with the leftover food from dinner.  She watched as he put his jacket on and draped his scarf around his neck.  He shoved his hat in his pocket, not worried about anyone seeing him now since it was well past ten o’clock and most theatres in the area were already dark.  He was just going to grab a cab on Forty-Fifth Street and head uptown, where he knew Josh would be waiting to pepper him with all kinds of questions.  After all, Chris did leave the duplex around four with a very vague excuse about needing to keep an appointment.

“Do you have everything?” Erika asked as she reached over and zipped up Chris’ jacket for him.

He smiled at her.  “Nope.  I’m leaving you behind, aren’t I?”

Now what exactly was she supposed to do with _that_?  “Well, at least you know where you’ll always find me.”

He considered that for a moment.  “There is that,” he said with a chuckle.  “Listen, babe, I plan to come down here tomorrow after the show but we need to talk about how we’re going to work this out.  Josh is used to me going home with him.  If I stop doing that without offering any plausible explanations, he’s going to get suspicious.  And a suspicious Josh is a scary Josh.  I think he may have been a detective in another life.  I know we’re together now but I’m assuming you’re going to want me to keep quiet about you for the time being, yeah?”

She nodded slowly.  “If you wouldn’t mind, Christopher.  I know you and Josh are like brothers and you don’t like keeping things from him but, for now, please don’t say anything.  This is all so new and…well, it’s going to take some getting used to.  I would like to meet him eventually but I just…need time.  You understand, don’t you?”

“I do, sweetheart.  We’ll talk about it some more tomorrow.”  He looked at his watch.  “I need to get going, babe.”

“Okay.”  She slipped her hand into his outstretched one and they walked to the elevator.  She pushed the up button then faced him.  “I had a wonderful time tonight, Chris.  I didn’t know what would happen or how it would turn out but it was…wonderful.  Thank you.”

“No, Erika, thank you for inviting me down here in the first place.  And it _was_ wonderful.  And you are every bit as amazing as I imagined you’d be.”  He drew her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist just as the elevator door slid open.  “I look forward to many more evenings like this,” he said softly.  “Just me and my best girl.”  He bent his head and gave her a long, slow kiss that had them both moaning softly by the time he pulled away.  “Good night, sweetheart.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  Sweet dreams.”

“Good night, Chris.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  Stay safe, love.”

He smiled at the endearment and gave her a quick kiss.  He let her go and stepped onto the elevator.  They waved at each other as the door slid closed.  Erika turned and looked into the cavernous room and for the first time since she recovered from her terrible injuries, she felt…lonely.

Chris stepped off the elevator and walked over to Greg’s station by the stage door.  He smiled as the older man said, “Had a nice time, Mr. Evans?”

“The best,” Chris said.  “She’s truly something.”

“That she is.  I’m glad you two had a good time.”

“Thanks.  Well, I gotta get going.  I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, Greg.  Erika and I plan to see each other again after the show but I haven’t quite worked out the details, you know?”

Greg nodded.  “Mr. Groban?”

“Yeah, Mr. Groban.”

“She doesn’t want you to tell him yet.”

“No.  And I understand why.”  He sighed.  “This isn’t going to be easy, but nothing worth having is, is it?”

Greg grinned.  “So they tell me.”

Chris gave a little shrug.  “I’m outta here, Greg.  Have a good night.”

“You, too, Mr. Evans.  Home safe.”

“Thanks, Greg, you too.”  Chris turned and let himself out.  Greg locked the door behind him then turned, completely unsurprised to find Erika standing there.

“He says you two had a good time.”

“We did, indeed.”

“He’s falling in love with you, you know.”

She nodded, a small smile on her face.  “Good to know, since I’m more than half way there myself.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued readership. It means the world to me.


	10. Now You Are Here With Me, No Second Thoughts...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is curious; Chris and Erika get closer; he still hasn't told her about the Civil War press tour...

“Well, I was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming home, Evans,” Josh called from the living room as Chris let himself into the duplex.

“Nice of you to wait up, Ma,” Chris called back.  Knowing that Josh was not above following him into his bedroom and making himself at home on Chris’ bed until Chris caved and answered his questions, he decided to spare himself the drama and went into the living room.  “Why aren’t you hanging out with Kat and Beth or doing something other than sitting here waiting for me?”

“Kat and Beth are upstairs having ‘girl time,’ i.e., mani/pedis, and I’ve already called my mom and dad this evening so there was nothing left to do _but_ wait for you,” Josh said smugly.  “I wanted to be ready to grill you when you finally came home.  And now, here you are.  Have a seat.  Want a beer?”

“Looks like I’m going to need one,” Chris answered with a sigh as he removed his jacket and scarf and sat down on the sofa opposite the one Josh was occupying.

Josh grinned and stood.  “Coming right up.”

“Hey, do me a favor and stash this in the fridge?” Chris said, holding up the bag with the leftovers from Carmine’s.

Josh arched an eyebrow.  “A doggie bag?  Did you have a dinner date and didn’t tell me, Evans?  Oh man, that’s gonna cost you.”

Chris just sighed again and leaned back against the sofa cushions.  Josh chuckled, took the bag and headed to the kitchen.  He was back a few moments later with two bottles of Stella Artois.  He handed one to Chris then took his original seat and settled back, a grin still on his face.  “Talk, Evans, who is she?”

Chris took a swig of his beer.  “Not very subtle, are you?”

Josh shrugged.  “Kat’s kinda rubbing off on me.  She’s a straight-to-the-point kind of girl.”

“Yep, she sure is.”  Chris took another swig.

“So, who is she?  You’re stalling, man, but I can wait you out.  Believe me.”

“Oh, I do, Josh, I do.”  Chris shook his head, scrambling to think of something to tell his best friend without really telling him anything.  He promised Erika and he was going to hold to that promise.  “She’s just someone I met earlier this winter.  We got to talking and we started texting then sending each other little notes and…gifts.”

Understanding dawned on Josh’s face.  “Those flowers in your dressing room…they were from her?”

Damn it!  Josh was too quick to put things together.  “Yeah.  We called it our ‘war of the roses.’  It was different from anything I’d ever done with other girls.  She’s…unusual, but in a really cool way so I asked her to dinner tonight.”

“Aaaand?” Josh prompted.

“We had a good time.”

“Jesus, this is like pulling teeth.  Did you like her?  Is there going to be a second date?” Josh enunciated each question carefully, as though Chris didn’t understand English.

Chris shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Maybe.”

“Oh, dear God!” Josh exclaimed, rolling his eyes.  “Why are you so reluctant to talk about her?  You’ve never been like this before with other girls.  You tell me everything…well, as much as a gentleman will tell and still be a gentleman.”

“It’s not me, man.  She wants to keep things on the down low for now.”

Josh’s eyebrows rose.  “Oh, Jesus, Evans, don’t tell me she’s married or something.”

Chris almost choked on the sip of beer he’d just taken.  “Of course not, Groban!  You know that is _not_ my thing.  She’s totally single.  I think it’s just that she’s never gone out with an actor before – particularly an actor who’s fairly well known…”

“Fairly well known, he says,” Josh cut in with a snicker.  Chris ignored him and continued.  “She’s not sure if she wants to get involved with someone like me.  I can respect that.  Our lives – yours, Kat’s, Beth’s, mine – they are not easy.  Kat and Beth don’t have it too bad since they have their show and they’re based in one place for eight or nine months out of the year.  But I go wherever my latest film takes me and you are either touring or recording.  This girl lives and works here in New York, she can’t just pick up and travel whenever she feels like it and she’s not sure if she can handle the long distance thing.”

“That’s kind of a lot of restrictions to put out there on a first date, don’t you think?” Josh asked Chris, his face serious.

“It is, yeah, but like I said, I respect that.  I know what I’m dealing with right up front.”  Chris took a long pull from his beer.  “That’s why I’m not sure if there’s going to be a second date.  We’re going to talk about it.  Don’t worry about it, Josh.  It’s cool.  If it doesn’t go anywhere, well, it was fun while it lasted.”  He stood up, grabbed his jacket and scarf with his free hand and saluted Josh with his half empty beer bottle.  “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m kind of tired so I’m gonna head up.  I’ll see you in the morning.  Sleep good, Josh.  Love you, man.”

“Yeah, sleep good, Chris.  Love you, too.”  Josh watched as Chris headed towards the spiral stairs that led up to the second level where all the bedrooms were located.  He sipped his beer thoughtfully.  Something was up.  Chris was acting really squirrelly about this girl.  He never even referred to her by name.  Josh frowned.  Maybe she really was married or had another boyfriend who was the jealous type.  He knew that Chris could take care of himself and tried to be smart about his romantic interests but there was something about this situation that really bugged Josh.  He’d have to keep an eye on things.  Chris was a terrific guy, the best, and Josh did not want to see him hurt in any way.  He sighed, finished his beer then stood up and decided to head upstairs himself.  He wanted some alone time with his own girl.

 

Josh and Chris took Kat and Beth out for a late lunch the next day then left the girls shopping at the Time Warner Center.  Since it was a rather beautiful day for early March, the boys decided to walk to the theatre.  They ambled along side by side, each so lost in their own thoughts that they missed the many admiring looks and surprised glances they got from the people on the street.  Chris was trying to figure out how he could make time to spend with Erika without raising Josh’s suspicions as well as the suspicions of the cast and crew.  Since Josh now knew that he might start seeing someone, he could probably get away with making Josh go home without him every night.  He’d have to get Greg to cover for him with the stage crew at night but he knew the guard would go along with any plans Chris came up with.  Chris always spent the break between the matinee and evening performances with Josh and, since he was leaving the show in early April, he didn’t want to mess with that routine.  He’d be on the press tour for a little over a month and he’d miss his bro time with his best buddy.  Maybe he could try leaving the house earlier than usual, tell Josh he was seeing his mystery girl for a late lunch.  That could work.  He could head to the theatre, spend time with Erika then make it back up to his dressing room before the hair and makeup and wardrobe people came for him.  There were going to be days when it would be a hassle but any time he got to spend with Erika would be worth it.

When they arrived at the theatre, they realized they still had several hours before curtain so Josh decided to take a nap in his dressing room.  Chris said he was going to do the same.  They parted company at the door to Chris’ room and Chris slipped inside.  The first thing he saw as he closed and locked the door behind him was a gorgeous bouquet of orange roses in a tall crystal vase.  He couldn’t help the goofy smile that crossed his face.  Orange roses meant passion and enthusiasm and, given the long embraces and hot kisses they’d shared last night, they had both in spades.  He dropped his bag on the couch and reached for the note that sat nestled among the blooms.

 

_Chris,_

_I still can’t believe that last night really happened.  It feels like a dream, a beautiful, joyous flight of fancy.  Thank you for returning to me two things I thought I’d lost forever:  enthusiasm and passion.  I can’t wait to see what comes next for us, Chris.  I am eagerly awaiting our next interlude.  Ever yours, Erika_

 

Chris smiled down at the note then folded it and tapped it against his lips.  Taking the chance, he said out loud, “I’m here now, sweetheart, with nothing to do for the next ninety minutes.”

There was silence for a few moments then he caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eye.  He turned to his left and there she was, standing just inside the threshold of a hidden door in the back wall of his dressing room.  So _that’s_ how she’d been able to leave all those flowers in his dressing room.  Sneaky girl.  “Hi, babe,” he said softly.

“Hello, love,” she replied, just as quietly.

Chris would never be sure who moved first but the next thing he knew, her luscious body was fitted tightly against his, her arms wound around his neck, his left hand buried in her hair while his right stroked her back, their mouths fused together in a hot kiss that was all teeth and tongues.  Long moments later, he tore his mouth from hers and trailed kisses along her jaw and down the side of her neck while she moaned, “No, don’t stop, please, Chris, don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan to ever stop, babe,” he murmured against her ear.  He worked his way back to her mouth and treated her to a series of soft, nipping kisses.  He smiled against her lips as he felt a shudder work its way through her body.  “Ah, Erika, baby, what are you doing to me?  I can’t stop thinking about you.  I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.  It’s amazing.”  He gave her a soft kiss.  “You’re amazing.”

Erika shook her head.  “No, you’re the amazing one, Chris.  Look at what you’re doing.  You’re teaching me how to feel again, how to laugh and have fun again, and, most importantly, how to trust again.  I thought Gregory would be the only one I could ever trust and I was truly dreading the day he retired because, if I wasn’t ready to come out into the light by then, I wouldn’t have anyone else.  I would truly be alone in the world.  But you’re changing that.”  She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his chin.  “I don’t know where this is going or how long it’s going to last, but I know that I’m going to come out a stronger, braver person for it and I’ll always have you to thank for that.”

“Geez,” Chris said wryly, “you trying to get rid of me already, Erika?”

She jerked her head up at his words.  “What?  No!  I-I-I…just meant that…no, please, Chris, don’t take what I just said the wrong way!”

“Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay.  I understood what you were saying.  And I’m flattered and touched and humbled that you feel that way.  But I want you to know this:  I can’t remember the last time I was so happy being in someone’s arms or wanting that person so much that it was an actual physical ache.  It’s crazy, I know.  I mean, we’ve only known each other, what, seven weeks?  And we’ve only had one date?  But I felt an immediate connection with you on that night you rescued me and since then, that connection has turned into a bond.”  He brought his hand up to cup her damaged cheek and gently brushed his thumb over the scars, his eyes looking steadily into hers; he was pleased when she didn’t flinch at his touch.  “I’m right where I want to be, Erika.  I hope you feel the same way.”

She leaned into his touch, inwardly surprised at her own actions.  She’d come to believe that she would never allow anyone to touch her damaged face.  This was just more proof of how much she trusted this man.  “I do, Chris; I feel the same way.  You’re very special and I’m very blessed.”  She leaned up and kissed him gently.  “Now, I believe you said something about having nothing to do for ninety minutes?”

Chris smiled.  Without taking his hand from her face, he twisted his wrist so he could check his watch.  “It’s more like seventy minutes now.”  He winked at her.  “What did you have in mind, babe?”

“Do get your mind out of the gutter, Christopher.  I merely wanted to know if you’d like to go on a little adventure.  I’ll have you back here before they come for you.”

Intrigued, he asked, “What kind of adventure?”

Erika cocked her head towards the open panel in the wall.  “I’d like to show you the secret way down to my lair, my angel.”  She pulled out of his arms but captured his hands in hers.  She began pulling him towards the darkness beyond the secret door.  She smiled then, in a clear, sweet voice, she sang to him:

 

 _Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world, l_ _eave all thoughts of the world you knew before_ __  
Let your soul take you where you long to be  
Only then can you belong to me

           

Chris laughed and said, “Lead on, my Angel of Music.”  They stepped through the door and it slid shut behind them.

 

For the next two weeks, Chris would either come to the theatre early or stay late after the show.  On the days he arrived early, Greg would call down and alert Erika, since her cell phone didn’t get a signal in the lower basement (and Chris finally found out why it seemed like Greg was always there:  he worked fourteen hour shifts when the theatre was hosting a production and ten hour shifts when it was dark.  He lived in a rent-controlled apartment in nearby Hell’s Kitchen so he didn’t have far to travel to get to and from the theatre.  As a widower with no family in New York – other than Erika – the arrangement suited him just fine, and the theatre management absolutely loved him).  Chris would go into his dressing room and lock the door and Erika would come up by what she called “the back way.”  They’d sit and talk or watch a movie and share whatever Chris brought with him for dinner.  Or they would spend the time wrapped up in each other’s arms, making out like a couple of teenagers.

On the days he stayed late, he would tell Josh he was going to see his mystery girl, as Josh came to refer to her, and leave the theatre once he was out of costume and showered and dressed.  He would head to one of the restaurants on Eighth Avenue and get something to eat for himself and Erika and wait for Greg to call and give him the all clear.  Chris would return to the theatre and head down to the basement where they’d eat, dance a little – Chris even gave her a couple of tap dancing lessons – and spend time curled up on Erika’s bed, talking and kissing or just cuddling and enjoying each other’s company.

Before he knew it, it was almost the end of March and his run in the show would be ending soon.  Erika knew that his contract was only for six months but that he planned to return to the show for the summer.  Because she didn’t really spend any time on the internet – and now that she was dating Chris, she certainly had no reason to cyber-stalk him – she didn’t know the real reason why he was leaving the show.  Chris knew he had to tell her that he would be traveling for almost the entire month of April and the early part of May and wouldn’t be able to come see her, but every time he thought about it, he just couldn’t gather up the courage to say anything.  He was terrified of hurting her and ruining all the progress she’d made in the last month.

“I’m lower than dirt,” he told Greg one night after returning to the theatre from his dinner run.  “I’ve got to tell her that I’ll be gone once I leave the show.  I know I should have said something sooner but…” he gave a helpless shrug.

“You’re right, you should have,” Greg said, his voice a bit stern.  “She knows your movie opens in May but she’s not really up on the whole press tour thing you guys have to do to promote a film.  She probably figures you have something you need to do away from the show but that you’ll be able to swing by and see her a few times a week.  You’ve got two more weeks here, Chris.  Tell her now, tonight.  Give her a little time to get used to the idea.  Don’t wait until the last minute; you’ll devastate her.”

“Oh, God, do you have to put it that way?” Chris groaned.

“What goes on up here?” came Erika’s voice from behind them.  Chris turned to find his sweetheart in a pretty blue shirtdress, a happy smile on her face.  God love her, she always had the biggest smiles for him.  “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ditched me tonight, love.”

“Ditch you?  Never happen, babe,” he said as he came to her and gave her a soft kiss.  “You look so pretty.  That color looks great on you.”

“Thank you, love.  I haven’t worn this in years.”  She shrugged.  “I was suddenly struck with the desire to put it on.”

“You look great, babe.”

“You really do, Erika,” Greg chimed in.

Erika gave an exaggerated little curtsey.  “Why, thank you, gentlemen,” she said in a perfect Southern accent.

Chris laughed and took her arm.  “Come on, Scarlett O’Hara, let’s go eat while it’s still…warm.”  They gave Greg a wave and headed for the freight elevator.

An hour later, they were lying on her bed, listening to her Disney playlist on her laptop.  A week ago, he surprised her with a rather extensive collection of Disney and Pixar films, just about everything he could find on DVD.  They watched some of them together and she watched a few a day when she was alone.  A huge music lover, she became enamored of the music from the films and began downloading whatever she could find, much to Chris’ delight since she now shared his addiction to all things Disney.  At the top of his “things to do with Erika” list was to take her to Disney World.

As “A Whole New World” played in the background, Chris decided it was now or never.  He had to tell Erika about the press tour.  He gave her a gentle squeeze.  She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him, her usual sweet smile on her face and her beautiful eyes showing the depth of her affection for him.  “Erika, baby, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

 


	11. There Will Never Be A Day When I Won't Think Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris tells Erika about the press tour; Josh finds a mystery; Erika gets a big surprise.

“So that’s why your initial contract was only for six months?”

“Yes,” Chris said quietly.

Erika watched him with sad eyes made shiny by unshed tears.  “Why didn’t you say something sooner, Christopher?”  The words _why did you let me get used to having you around_ hung between them as clearly as if she’d said them out loud.

“Sweetheart…” he began as he reached for her.  Erika, who’d been sitting next to him on her bed, pulled away abruptly and slid off the mattress.  Chris felt like he’d been slapped.

“I figured you had to leave the show for other commitments but I didn’t think it meant you’d be out of New York for six weeks.  I thought we’d still be able to see each other, just not as often.”  She turned to him abruptly.  “Why would you begin a relationship with someone knowing that you were going to leave…?”

Chris got off the bed and approached Erika slowly.  When she didn’t move, he came up to her and put his hands on her shoulders.  “Erika, honey, I’m sorry, I really am.  I know I should have said something sooner but I was afraid you’d shut me down and not give us a chance.  It was selfish and stupid of me.  I’m so sorry.”

She looked him in the eye and said, “Yes, it was stupid and selfish, Christopher.  You leaving the show and not being just upstairs every night was going to be hard enough to deal with, but now, knowing that you’re going to be out of New York altogether?  That’s just heartbreaking.”  She stepped back from him, turned and walked away.

Chris’ arms dropped to his side and he stood there, his head down, tears burning his eyes.  Oh God, what did he do?  Did he just blow the best thing that ever happened to him because he was afraid of losing the best thing that ever happened to him?  He had to fix this, to make it right.  “Erika!” he called to her retreating back.  She didn’t hesitate, just kept stalking towards her sitting area.  He went after her.  “Erika!”

She reached her sitting room and went straight for the cabinet where she kept her liquor.  She wasn’t really a drinker, just a glass of wine here and there or when she and Chris settled down to watch a movie.  But if an occasion ever called for a bit of booze, this was it.  She could feel Chris standing a few feet behind her, could hear his uneven breathing and the sniffle that was a telltale sign that he was trying to hold back tears.  Over the last few weeks she’d learned that Chris was a highly sensitive man who thought nothing of shedding a tear or two during dramatic – or even sappy – moments in the films they watched or when he or she recalled a sad or touching moment in their lives.  She knew that her silence, her anger and disappointment over the news he just gave her was tearing him apart – God knew it was doing the same to her – but she was determined to make him pay for his lack of forethought, just to make sure he never did it again.  Because, as far as she was concerned, this thing between them, it was forever.  And she wasn’t going to tolerate his keeping things like this from her going forward.  Straight up or not at all, that’s how things had to be.  She poured herself some wine, corked the bottle then turned to face him.  “You do realize that you’ve fucked up spectacularly, don’t you, Christopher?”

“Yes.  And, again, I’m sorry.  Erika, honey, I’m not abandoning you.  Please don’t think that.  I have every intention of keeping in touch with you.  I know that’s not going to be easy due to the time zones and everything but I am going to make every effort to speak with you as often as possible.  I even went out and bought you a state-of-the-art laptop and a wireless modem/router thing so you can tap into the theatre’s WiFi – and you won’t get caught, babe, I checked, the whole theatre is a WiFi hotspot – and we can talk via Skype.  Since I’ll be overseas for most of the tour, it will probably be the middle of the night here but that will work because the only person in the theatre will be Greg.  You can come up and use any of the dressing rooms to sit down and chat with me.  It’ll work, babe, I promise.  I’m coming back to the show in mid-May and we can be together again.”  He paused, watching as she drank her wine, her face expressionless.  “Honey, really, I’m sorry.  I promise I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.  And from now on, I promise to be completely forthcoming about… _everything_ , I swear it.”

“You say that now, Christopher, but how do I know your head won’t be turned by some pretty face and sexy figure while you’re in Asia or Europe?  A pretty face that someone didn’t use as their own personal billboard and that isn’t afraid to actually walk around without a disguise?”

“ _What?_ ”

“You heard me,” Erika said as she moved to one of the wingchairs and sat down.  “Every woman you meet has infinitely less baggage than I do.  You can’t tell me you wouldn’t find that easier and more appealing.  Lord knows I would.”

“Erika, what the fuck?  I don’t want easier.  I don’t want more appealing.  I’ve already got what I want.  I want you.  And I’m not leaving here tonight until I know for sure that I still have you.”

“Chris, you have always had me.  You _will_ always have me.  I’m just afraid I won’t always have you.”  She gave a helpless little shrug as tears spilled over her lower lashes.

Chris felt his heart stop when those tears fell.  He stepped over to the wingchair and went down on his knees in front of her.  He took the wineglass from her hand and put it on the side table.  He reached up and burrowed his hand under her thick hair until he could wrap his fingers around the back of her neck.  She stiffened slightly then he felt her relax.  He pulled her head towards him and pressed his lips to hers.  He gave her a long, slow kiss that he hoped would show her how he felt, would show her that she did indeed have him…and always would.

He pulled away slightly and whispered, “I could never want another woman the way I want you.  I could never be this invested in a relationship with anyone other than you.  I don’t care what anyone says or thinks; ten weeks or ten days, so what?  I’ve found the other half of my heart and soul, and it’s you, Erika.  I love you.  _I love you_.  Just upstairs or across an ocean, it doesn’t matter.  You have my heart.  That stays with you when I leave.”

“Oh, Chris,” Erika said through her tears, “my heart will leave with you when you go.  I love you, too.”  She gave him a watery smile.  “I never thought I would ever say those words to anyone in my life ever again.  In fact, you’re the only man I’ve ever said them to who wasn’t related to me in some fashion.”  She made a sound that was half laugh, half sob.  “Can you imagine that?”

“I just want to know that I’m the only man you’ll ever say that to from this day forward.”

“You are, Chris.  You’ve brought your amazing light into my dark world.  That alone made me love you.  And I do love you, so much.”  She slid off the chair and went to her knees before him.  She wound her arms around his waist.  “ _’Think of me_ ,’” she half-spoke, half-sang, her voice soft and full of emotion, “ _’think of me fondly, when we’ve said goodbye.  Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you’ll try_ …’”

“ _’There will never be a day when I won’t think of you_ ,’” Chris sang to her in a low voice. 

She smiled.  “Bring me back a t-shirt or something, okay?”

He laughed.  “You got it,” he said as he bent his head to kiss her.

 

A few days later, on matinee day, Chris was in his dressing room between performances.  Groban had ducked out after the afternoon show to see his dentist and didn’t know how long he would be so Chris was on his own for an early dinner.  He told Greg to let Erika know that he’d be free for a little while, in case she wanted to come up and visit with him.  Not five minutes after he stepped back into his dressing room, Erika was walking through the back wall and into his arms.

Forty-five minutes later, Chris checked his watch over Erika’s shoulder.  “Shit.  I’d better go get something to eat before it gets too late.  I’ll come down tonight, okay, babe?  I’ll bring us something from Carmine’s.  Sound good?”

“Sounds excellent.  I should head back down then.”

“Um, babe, can I ask you a favor?”

“Anything, love.  What is it?”

“I yanked at a loose thread on my shirt earlier and I ended up unraveling a seam.  Would you mind fixing it for me?  Shouldn’t take long.  I knew enough to stop pulling on the thread before it got too bad.”  Erika laughed at his sheepish expression.  “I’m kind of all thumbs with a needle and thread.”

“I’ll take care of it, my love.  I happen to be good with a needle and thread.”

“Yeah,” he said with a smirk as he touched the scar on the back of his head, “I know.”  He handed her the shirt and a small sewing kit from his duffel bag then bent down and gave her a short but hot kiss.  He turned and headed out, closing the door behind him.  The latch didn’t catch, however, and the door swung open a little bit.  Neither he nor Erika noticed it.

Erika made quick work of the seam on Chris’ shirt.  She hung it up for him and put the sewing kit back into his duffel bag.  She stepped over to his dressing table, grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, and wrote, _Shirt is as good as new.  Can’t wait to see you tonight.  I’m feeling like an order of lasagna, if you please.  I love you very much.  E._   She looked around the dressing room to make sure everything was in order then headed for the back wall.

Josh walked in through the stage door and smiled over at Greg.  The guard returned the smile as he waved an envelope at the singer.  “Mr. Groban, this was just delivered for Mr. Evans but he stepped out a little while ago and hasn’t come back yet.  Would you mind leaving this in his dressing room?”

Josh stepped over to Greg and took the envelope.  “No problem, Greg, thanks.”  He headed down the hall towards Chris’ room.  Seeing the door was slightly ajar, he put his hand against it and pushed it open...and couldn’t quite believe his eyes.  A mahogany haired woman dressed all in black was stepping through an open panel in the back wall of Chris’ dressing room.  A second later, the panel slid shut behind her.  Josh stood there for a moment, his mouth hanging open.  Did he really just see that?  Shaking his head as if to clear it, he stepped all the way into the room and closed the door behind him.  He walked over to the dressing table and, not noticing Erika’s note, he dropped the envelope on it then looked through a couple of the drawers until he found one of the flashlights the stage crew left in every dressing room.  The backstage area was usually dark during performances, and the actors and crew used flashlights to light their way around. 

Light in hand, Josh walked over to the back wall and stared at the molding around the wall panel.  He slid his fingers against the molding in the approximate area he’d seen the woman’s hand.  He felt a little bump and pushed against it.  The panel slid open noiselessly.  Josh switched on the flashlight and shined it in the space beyond.  The beam illuminated a long hallway that appeared to stretch along behind what he assumed were the other dressing rooms.  He aimed the flashlight to his right and saw a set of stairs leading down.  He didn’t think the woman had gone to one of the other dressing rooms so she must have gone down these stairs.

“Am I really going to do this?” he muttered to himself as he stepped through the open panel.  He turned and looked for a way to close it.  He ran his hand along the wall next to the door and found another bump.  He pushed it and the panel slid shut, leaving him in what would have been utter darkness had he not had enough foresight to grab the flashlight.  Funny, the woman didn’t appear to be carrying one but then, if she knew about this secret passage, she probably knew her way around in the dark.  He shined the light down the stairwell.  “Here goes nothing,” he whispered as he descended the stairs.

At the first landing he came to, he shined the light around and found a door marked _Basement 1_.  He reached over and tried the doorknob.  It was locked.  Okay, it was obvious she hadn’t stopped here.  He continued down the next set of steps.  As he made his way down, a line from _Phantom of the Opera_ scrolled through his mind:  _Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair…_   Josh felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.  He suddenly understood what Chris meant by having a “noisy brain.”  When he reached the bottom of the staircase, he looked around and saw another door, this one marked _Basement 2_.  Josh stepped over to it and tried the knob.  It turned easily in his hand.  He very gingerly pushed the door open and poked his head around it.  For the second time in less than ten minutes, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The room beyond the door was cavernous and was lit by dozens upon dozens of white pillar candles.  The flickering flames illuminated what appeared to be ancient set pieces from old productions.  What the hell?  Josh pushed the door open all the way and was met with a high-pitched squeak from the old hinges.  Damn it, there went his element of surprise.

“Mr. Groban?” came a disembodied voice out of the darkness, a female voice with a very proper English accent.  “I must say this is a surprise.  Please come in and shut the door behind you.  I very deliberately don’t oil those hinges.  It serves as a wonderful early warning system.  Not that anyone knows to come in that way.  That’s a very old secret passage built by the theatre’s original owners to allow their stars to, shall we say, visit each other without being seen by the rest of the cast and crew.  Ingenious, really.  As for you, Mr. Groban, Christopher was right.  You must have been a detective in another life.  Do come in and make yourself at home.”

Josh, startled and not a little nervous, stepped through the door and shut it behind him, wincing at the loud squeaking.  He turned to look around the room.  “Um, hi?  I don’t normally go exploring like this but…I saw you go through the back wall of Chris’ dressing room and I just had to, you know, follow.  Who are you?  And what were you doing in my friend’s dressing room?”

“Ah, so you don’t know about me.  I see my dear Christopher kept his word.  Please, Mr. Groban, come further into the room.  I’m harmless, I promise you.”

“I’d feel a lot better if I knew who I was speaking with.  Where are you?”

“Right here, Mr. Groban,” came the voice, about ten feet in front of him, just to his right.  From the shadows, a figure emerged.  It was the woman with the mahogany hair.  She’d discarded the black top she had on when she left Chris’ dressing room and was now wearing a white tank top with black jeans and black running shoes.  The right side of her face was partially obscured by her thick, wavy hair but from what Josh could see, the woman was stunning and had the body of a nineteen forties pin-up girl.  She was just the body type Chris adored.  “I told Christopher that I wanted to meet you eventually but I hadn’t quite pictured it happening in this way.  My name is Erika, by the way.  Welcome to my,” she gave a sardonic smile, “humble abode.”

Josh stared at her, his nervousness suddenly evaporating.  “You’re her, the girl Chris has been seeing.  The one he’s been so tightlipped about.”  She nodded.  “You live…down here?”  She nodded again.  “Jesus.  No wonder he’s been so secretive.  Erika, is it?”  She nodded a third time.  “Why do you live down here?  What’s going on?”

“Mr. Groban – um, may I call you Josh?”  Now he nodded.  “Thank you.  Josh, please follow me.  I have a sitting area just beyond here and we can be comfortable and talk.  I know you’re between performances right now so you have a little time.  I promise to get you back up to the theatre with plenty of time to prepare for tonight’s show.”  She turned and headed back the way she came.  Josh hurried to catch up to her.

Erika led him to the sitting area and turned slightly towards him, making sure to keep her right side hidden from view.  She indicated the wing chairs and the loveseat.  “Where would you like to sit?”

Josh, still dumbfounded, pointed at the loveseat, stepped over to it and sat down on the edge of the cushion.  Erika smiled.  “Please, make yourself at home, Josh.  You’re going to get uncomfortable sitting like that.  Would you like some refreshment?  Some wine, perhaps?  Soda, juice?  I have a bottle of Jameson’s around here but I usually don’t drink much of that but if you’d like…?”

“Uh, some wine would be nice,” Josh said slowly, clearly overwhelmed by what he was seeing.

Erika’s smile widened.  She busied herself with getting the wine and filling the glasses.  She brought Josh’s wine over to him and tapped her glass to his.  “To new acquaintances, Josh.  Cheers!”

Josh raised his glass to her then took a long drink.  “So, um, how…?  Why…?  Jesus, I don’t know where to start.”

Erika settled herself into one of the wing chairs as Josh spoke.  “I realize it’s a lot to take in, Josh.”  She gave a one shouldered shrug.  Josh noticed it was eerily similar to one of Chris’ biggest habits.  “A mere two months ago, I would have hidden from you instead of welcoming you in.  My life has changed dramatically since then…since I met your best friend and co-star.  He’s changed my life.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I was the one who saved his life from those muggers that night in January.  I made Chris tell everyone that it was Gregory who saved him because I didn’t want the world to know I existed.”  She gave another little shrug.  “I still don’t, to be honest, but I’m here with you now because I know it was only a matter of time before Chris exploded and told you everything.  He’s been uncomfortable about keeping our relationship a secret from you since the day I asked him not to say anything.  You’re like his brother; I know he tells you everything.”

Josh took another sip of his wine and said, “I still don’t understand, Erika.  I don’t understand any of this.  Could you maybe explain it to me?”

Erika smiled and said, “Of course.  I’ll have to give you the Reader’s Digest version.  Time doesn’t permit me to tell you the full story, but I imagine Chris will insist I tell you one day.”  She paused, took a sip of her wine then began.  “Five and a half years ago…”

 

Half an hour later, an agitated Josh Groban prowled around Erika’s sitting area, his whole body shaking in anger and outrage.  “So you’ve had to live down here, hiding from the world, hiding in fear, because those animals said if any of them saw their mark on you, they’d kill you and whoever you were with?  My God, Erika, your life was taken away from you before it ever really began!  You’re a prisoner down here and those assholes are probably all still running free!  I can’t even begin to tell you how furious that makes me!”

“You don’t have to tell me, Josh.  I can see it in your body language.”

“And your poor friend.  Jesus Christ, I can’t believe humans can be so cruel to each other.”

“Well, thankfully not all humans are as bat shit insane as those men were…are.  There are many good people, like Gregory, like Christopher…like you.  Thank you, by the way, for not recoiling in revulsion and horror when I showed you the scars on my face.  That’s the reaction I fear I’ll get from a lot of people.  It’s one of the reasons I don’t venture upstairs very much unless I’m heavily disguised.”

Josh stopped pacing and wheeled around to face Erika.  He stared at her, more specifically, he stared at her eyes.  “I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?  At the hospital, the day after Chris was mugged.  You were the doctor who came to see him!  That _was_ you, right?”

“Yes.  Since I’ve been down here, I’ve become very adept at applying theatrical makeup.  It’s the only way I’ll show myself to the outside world.  I was so worried about Chris that I had to see for myself he was okay.  I worked at that hospital so I knew how to get in and out without being seen.”

Josh shook his head and smiled.  “You do one hell of an American accent, Erika.”

"Thank you.”  She gave him a melancholy smile.  “I used to practice it on Mira all the time.”

Josh returned to the loveseat and sat down.  Just as he did, there was a loud, telltale squeak and Chris’ voice rang out through the darkness.  “Hey, babe?”

“Back here, love,” Erika called.  She and Josh smiled at each other as Chris’ voice came closer.

“An hour to curtain and Groban is fucking MIA!  No one’s seen him.  Greg says he came into the building more than an hour ago.”  Chris came into view.

“He’s not MIA, love,” Erika said placidly with a nod towards the loveseat. 

Chris followed her line of sight and gasped.  “What the _fuck_?”

“Hey, bro,” Josh said, saluting Chris with his wine glass.

Chris stared at Josh then at Erika.  “How the hell…?”

“You were right about Josh.  He’s quite the intrepid detective.  He saw me leave your dressing room via the back way, he figured out how to get the panel open and found his way down here.  We’ve been talking for the last forty-five minutes or so.”

Chris approached Erika, bent down to give her a kiss then backed up until his legs hit the other wing chair and he sat down.  He looked over at Josh.  “Did she tell you?  You know the whole story?”

“She gave me the abridged version.”

“And…you’re…good?”

“I’m good.  I understand why you couldn’t talk to me about her.  I understand why she asked you not to.  But,” Josh turned to Erika, “I’m glad I got nosy and followed you down here.  You’re an amazing woman, Erika.  And I’m here for you.  You need anything, anything at all, you just ask, okay?”

She smiled at him.  “Okay, Josh, thank you.”  She looked down at her watch.  “Not to be rude but you two should get upstairs and prepare for the show.  I suggest you use the back way to go up.”

“We will,” Chris said.  He stood and held his hand out to Erika.  She took it and let him haul her up out of the chair.  Josh stood as well and the three of them walked towards the door that led to the stairs.

Josh turned to Erika.  “Sweetie, it’s been a shock and a pleasure.  I’m happy we got a chance to get to know one another.”  He stepped up to her and pulled her into his arms for a hug.  Chris smiled as he saw her go into Josh’s embrace willingly.  She’d changed so much in the short time they’d been together.  It was a very good change.

“I’m happy, too, Josh.  You’re important to Chris, and that makes you important to me.  Have a good show tonight.”  They pulled away from each other but then Josh leaned over and kissed her left cheek.  Erika grinned.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Chris said softly, claiming her attention.  “This wasn’t quite how I wanted you to meet my best friend but,” he looked at Josh and smiled, “I’m glad you finally did and that everything’s out in the open.  I’ll be back tonight, after the show, with lasagna.  Wait up for me?”  He slipped his arms around her waist and brought her against him.

“I always do,” she said quietly.  She lifted her face to his and he kissed her.

“I love you,” he whispered as he pulled away.

“I love you, too,” she whispered back as Josh pulled open the door and the two of them went through.  “See you later.”

“You coming up to watch?” Chris asked.

She gave them both a sly smile.  “I’ll be around,” she said with a wink.

“Sounds good.” He leaned through the open doorway and kissed her again.  “See you soon.”  With that, they were gone.  Erika shut the door then headed back to her sitting area.  _And there you have it_ , she thought as she gathered up the wine glasses, _without even trying, you’ve made a new friend.  And at no point did you freak out._   She smiled to herself, absolutely pleased.  All in all, it had been an excellent afternoon.

 


	12. How Long Should We Two Wait Before We're One?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before Chris' last performance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my new friend and constant reader, Holsvick, for helping me make sure this train stayed on the track. Thou swell!

Now that Josh knew about Erika, it was much easier for Chris to spend time with her.  Josh and Greg covered for Chris whenever he disappeared or made excuses for him when he would go into his dressing room and lock the door.  “He’s got a lot of logistics issues to deal with/phone calls/arrangements to make for the upcoming _Civil War_ press tour,” became Josh’s favorite mantra.  If asked, Greg would often say something similar.

Since Kat wasn’t due back up to New York for another couple of weeks, Josh took to going to the basement with Chris every night to visit with Erika for a while.  After an hour or so, during which time they’d eat their late supper and have a glass of wine or a beer, Josh would leave and Chris would get to spend some quality alone time with his “best girl.” 

In the two weeks leading up to his departure from the show, Chris slowly became more intimate with Erika, putting her comfort and feelings first and foremost, never pushing for more than she was willing to give.  Their kisses became more ardent, with Chris slipping his hand under her shirt to let his fingers trace along her stomach or her back.  When she was completely comfortable with that, he started touching her more intimately, cupping her breast through her shirt and eventually getting her to let him unbutton her shirt.  He even got her to agree to remove her top so he could give her a massage, although not without some hesitation at first.  Erika was still embarrassed by the scars left from the knife wounds but Chris reminded her that he didn’t care about her scars and proved his point by gently tracing each one first with his fingers then with his lips.  She slowly relaxed under his ministrations and by the time he was done with the massage, she was a boneless, tension-free mass of happy in his arms.

Erika knew Chris loved her and would never hurt her intentionally so she let him become more intimate with her, especially since it was something they both wanted so much.  Erika desired Chris as she’d desired no other before him and she wanted to take that next step because she loved him and felt safe with him but…wanting to take that next step and being able to take it were two very different things.

She really didn’t know the extent of the damage she’d suffered during the brutal gang rapes.  She knew she’d bled quite a bit and that the pain, at times, was excruciating due to the tearing but since she refused to go to the hospital, despite Greg’s repeated pleas, she would never know just how bad things were “down there.”  As she recuperated in the basement of the theatre, she found that her bodily functions were normal, albeit horribly painful for the first couple of weeks, but eventually the pain faded and with the application of the over the counter ointments and creams Erika had asked Greg to procure for her from the drug store, she began to heal.  And, as much as she hated to use the word “grateful” in association with those monsters that raped her, she didn’t have to worry about STDs or even AIDS – her captors had taken special delight in telling both her and Mira that they “used rubbers all the time because we ain’t about to catch no shit from some puta.”  Once she was fully recovered – no pain, no bleeding, no discharge, and, thank God, no signs of any disease – she relaxed and stopped worrying since she was certain she would never again have intimate relations.  So, as long as her body worked the way it was supposed to, she didn’t allow herself to even think about sexual function…until now.

Erika wanted Chris, she wanted to make love with him but she didn’t know if she could, and she wasn’t sure how to broach the subject with him.  What would she say to him?  How would she say it?  Over the last month, they’d been able to talk about anything and everything…but sex.  Erika carefully avoided the subject and Chris never brought it up.  Now here they were, on the night before Chris’ last show, lying on her bed, their kisses more passionate than usual, his caresses more intense, her responses to him just as intense.  The subject was going to come up, she knew it was, and she had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and absolutely no idea what to say.

After breaking a particularly deep kiss, Chris sighed softly as he looked down into the face of the woman he loved so much but was about to leave behind, albeit temporarily.  “Sweet girl,” he said quietly, his voice thick with arousal, “what you do to me.  Do you know that I dream about making love to you every night?  I’m almost afraid to tell you about those dreams. They might scare you off,” he said with a grin, which immediately faded when he felt her stiffen then retreat from him.  Oh, shit, what did he say?  “Sweetheart?” he said, concern replacing the arousal.

Erika pulled away from Chris’ delicious, intoxicating warmth and gave him an apologetic look as she scooted over a bit on the bed.  She sat up, tucked her legs under her and folded her hands on her lap, her eyes downcast.  “I don’t know that the reality will be anywhere near as good as the fantasy, my love,” she said sadly.  She finally looked up at him.  “I’m not entirely sure if…well, if everything is in…working order.”  She grimaced.  “My last experience wasn’t exactly at the hands of a gentle, skillful lover.  I don’t know the extent of the damage or if it even healed properly enough for me to be able to…be intimate with you.”  She felt tears well up in her eyes but she blinked them back.  “I had thought I would never be here, in a loving, committed relationship with the most incredible – and incredibly sexy – man in the world.  I don’t know what, if anything, I _can_ do.  Will I feel pain?  Will I be able to feel anything at all?  The nerves down there may have been damaged during the repeated attacks, rendering me incapable of, you know, enjoying it.  Will you be able to…oh, God,” she said, covering her face with her hands.  This was beyond mortifying.

Chris waited patiently for Erika to continue.  He sat up then ran a gentle hand over her hair, silently encouraging her to go on.  She took her hands from her face and looked at him again.  “I don’t know if the damage will allow you to penetrate me at all.  That would…that would be the ultimate punishment from those bastards, wouldn’t it?  To render me unable to have a sexual relationship with the man I actually _want_ to be with?”  She lifted her hands, palms up, in a gesture of utter frustration.  “I never gave these things much thought.  I really didn’t think it would ever be necessary.”  She balled her hands into fists and dropped them to her lap once more.  “Good lord, what a fucking mess.”  She leaned her head back and heaved a deep sigh.  The tears she’d fought so hard to keep at bay now slowly leaked from her eyes.

Chris continued to stroke his hand down her hair and over her back for a few moments before finally saying, “I think we should give it a try, sweetheart.  Don’t write it off yet.  We love each other and we obviously want to be together, so I think we owe it to ourselves to take the chance, see what happens.  You know I’ll take care of you, that I’ll be careful and go slow.  Your comfort and well-being are my first priority.  If it hurts you in any way, if you even feel the faintest twinge, tell me and I’ll stop.  If we can’t continue, I’ll understand.”  He held his arms out to her and she immediately went into his embrace.  “Honey, I’m not going to stop loving you or wanting you because we can’t consummate the relationship tonight.  We’ll just know that it’s something we need to take care of once I come back – meaning, you’re going to have to come out into the light and see a doctor.  You can’t continue to live without knowing what else could have been affected by those assaults.  You took care of yourself all alone down here and from what I can see, you did an amazing job, but I want you around for the long haul, babe, and I want you to see a doctor and have a full physical just so we both know how well you really are.”

"Chris, I don’t know…what you say makes sense but…going out into the light?  Having people hear my story?  Have people know that I’m alive?  I don’t know, love…”

“I’ll take you up to Boston.  I’m due to come back to the show the Thursday following the release of _Civil War_.  I’ll have a few days free; I’ll come get you and we’ll drive up to Boston.  I have a cousin who’s an internist; I can ask him to have a look at you, off the books.  He might be able to hook us up with a plastic surgeon, too.  Honey, this has to happen.  I love you and I want to be with you, and I can be with you down here while I’m in New York, but once my run with the show is over and I have to head to Atlanta to film _Avengers 3 & 4_, I can’t leave you here.  I’m gonna want you with me.”  He put up a hand to stop her when she opened her mouth to protest.  “We have six weeks to talk about this and decide what we’re going to do.  Let’s take the time apart to really give a lot of thought to what our future is going to look like.  And yes, I said _our_ future.  I have you in my life now, Erika, and I’m not giving you back.”

Erika pulled away from him slightly and looked into his eyes.  “But what if I’m not ready, Chris?  That’s a lot to decide in six weeks…after almost six _years_ of darkness and solitude.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not leaving the show again until mid-September.  From the time I come back until that day, we can work on getting you acclimated to the outside world again.  Erika, honey, I promise you, right here and now, that I will take care of you, look after you, help you make the transition as gently and easily as we can.  I would never let any harm come to you.  I know you probably think you’re doing this for me, and to a certain extent, you are, but you’re also doing it for yourself.  Baby, whether you realize it or not, you’re ready to step out into the light again.  You started on that road the day you decided to let me into your life.  You knew, subconsciously maybe, that if you wanted to be with me, you’d have to make a change, and you’ve been doing that.  You let me in…and then you let Josh in.  He adores you and he thinks we’re great together.  And I know you love him just as much.  He wants to help us with your transition.  He and I, and Greg, too, will make sure to keep the circle of people around you small until you’re comfortable enough to expand it. 

“And we can count on my family, too.  They don’t know about you yet…well, they know I’m seeing someone but I haven’t given them a lot of detail about you because I’d rather have you there with me when we tell them your story.  But they’ll be there for us.  And I’ll see to it that you get all the help you need and want to get you back into the light.  Erika, you’re young and amazing and so much more than what was done to you.  You’re Frances Elizabeth Sheffield, wunderkind doctor of emergency trauma medicine, the strongest, smartest, funniest, loveliest woman I know…and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  It’s time for you to take your place in the real world again.  For me, for us…and most importantly, for you.”

Erika just gazed into Chris’ eyes for a long while then said, in a voice full of emotion, “What did I do to deserve such faith from you?  What did I do to deserve such support, trust, conviction and loyalty…such love?  What did I do to deserve _you_?”

Chris ran gentle fingers across her undamaged cheek then cupped it and let his thumb slide softly back and forth across her lips.  “You were meant for me, Erika; we were meant for each other.  I truly believe that.  They say things happen for a reason.  While I can’t think of any earthly reason why a wonderful person like you should have had to suffer the way you did and why your friend had to die, that whole incident put you here, where you were able to come to my aid and save my life – in more ways than one.  I was beginning to give up hope of finding someone who suited me in every way and then I met you.  You taught me that love is blind, that a person who is wonderful and sweet and giving and special in many, many ways should be loved, deeply and totally, regardless of what she looks like.  You showed me how to open my heart to every possibility a life with you could offer me, without my ever having laid eyes on you.  And when I did see you, your beauty was just icing on an already perfect cake.  I can only hope my being with you has taught you something as well.”

Erika smiled.  “You taught me that my heart wasn’t as damaged as I thought, that my life could matter to someone else once again, that a man who is nothing short of perfect could love me…and I could love him.  What did you say to me on our first date?  ‘Where you lead, I will follow.’  Christopher Robert Evans, start leading me into the light; I think I’m finally ready to follow.”  She leaned over and pressed her lips to his. 

Chris threaded his fingers through her hair as he deepened the kiss.  He wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap.  As they kissed, he ran his hands up and down her body, his caresses becoming bolder and more intimate.  Her demands on him were no less intense.  Without breaking their kiss, Erika maneuvered herself until she was straddling his lap, her arms wound tightly around his shoulders.  Their kisses became deeper, more passionate until finally, Chris tore his mouth from hers and pulled back far enough to look into her eyes, his breath coming in pants.  “I want you so much, Erika,” he said, his voice low and husky with need, “but I promised us both I would take this slow, be gentle with you…and I will.”  He brushed her kiss-swollen lips with his and whispered, “Sit back on my thighs a little, sweetheart; yeah, that’s it.”

When she was situated, Chris took advantage of the small space between them to grip the hem of the sweater she wore and slowly pull it up, revealing her soft skin inch by inch.  He watched her face and gave a small smile at the play of emotions – of desire – he saw there.  Despite the damage, Erika had a wonderfully expressive face…when she wasn’t pulling that neutral doctor/patient “how are you today” look she liked to toss at him from time to time.  He never could tell what she was thinking when she wore that particular expression and it made him crazy.  But tonight, it didn’t appear that she was going to look anything but hot and bothered.  Good.  He was feeling pretty hot and bothered himself.

Erika automatically raised her arms for Chris to pull the sweater completely off her, leaving her in the one really pretty, really sexy bra she owned, a Victoria’s secret number she’d purchased – at Mira’s urging – not two weeks before…  Well, needless to say, it had never been worn until tonight and Erika delighted in the look of surprise that widened Chris’ already big, beautiful eyes and the soft moan he couldn’t hold back.  He tossed her sweater off to the side and brought his warm, slightly calloused hands down to circle her bare waist.  “That’s, um, that’s…wow,” he said, not seeming able to complete a thought.  “It’s really pretty…and really red…and hot as fucking hell.”

“Oh, this old thing?” she asked coyly then lost her train of thought as Chris brought his lips to the swell of one full breast and ran his tongue along the lace of the bra.  “Oh, my God,” she whispered as a shudder ran through her body.

“You okay?” he asked against her skin, the warmth of his breath and the vibration of his voice making everything inside her clench tightly.

“I’m…something,” she groaned as he repeated his actions on her other breast.  She shuddered again as Chris gently ran his tongue along one of the small scars that was visible above the bra’s cup.

“You absolutely are, my baby.  God, you’re too gorgeous for words,” he said as he kissed his way up past her clavicle to finally bring his lips to rest against the throbbing pulse point just under her jaw.

“No,” she said on a sigh, “that’s what I should be saying to you.”  She buried her hands in his hair and held him closer to her, moaning as she felt his tongue draw lazy circles around that pulse point.  When he abandoned that spot and moved up to nibble on her earlobe, she felt her body surge and blushed when she felt how wet she was.  Chris must have felt it, too, because his lips curved into a smile against her skin.  Before she knew what was happening, he slipped a hand in between them and cupped her gently.  She thought for sure that at the first touch of his hand on her most intimate parts – through her clothing or not – she would freeze…but she didn’t.  She actually welcomed the warmth of his large hand, even though she was still slightly embarrassed at the sopping wet state of her clothing.

“Sweet girl, is all this for me?  Am I making you this wet, this ready for me?”  He slowly increased the pressure of his hand against her.

“Oh, God,” she said, her voice breaking on a sob, the muscles in her stomach – and lower still – clenching yet again at his touch, “yes, love, yes.  Everything I have, everything I am is for you.  I love you, I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” Chris said on a sigh as he brought his mouth back to hers.  He kissed her deeply, putting every ounce of his love, his passion for her into it as he maneuvered them until she was on her back and he was braced above her.  He sat back and straddled her thighs, careful to keep his rock hard erection from digging into her most sensitive parts.  He wasn’t anywhere close to that point with her yet.  He quickly removed his Henley shirt and heard her gasp softly.  Before this evening, he’d never gone further than taking his sweater off; he always left his t-shirt on.  But tonight, he’d only been wearing his Henley and he was before her now, bare chested for the very first time.  Judging by the look on her face, she was _very_ pleased with what she was seeing.  “And here I thought you looked amazing in _What’s Your Number?_ and the first Captain America,” she said as she slowly reached up and trailed her fingers down his abs.  He sucked in a quick breath and she smiled at the way his muscles contracted under her fingers.  “By the way, I’m just as surprised as you are by my boldness but, well, look at you!  How could I _not_ want to touch you?  You are…so _bloody_ perfect.”

“No, baby,” he said as he stretched out next to her, “you’re the one who’s perfect, in mind, body, and spirit.  Perfect for me.”  He leaned down and kissed her gently as he trailed his hand from her graceful neck down to her chest then on to her stomach.  When he reached the waistband of her pants, he lifted his lips from hers.  “May I?” he asked as he flicked his finger against the button.  Was he really asking her permission to undo her pants?

“My, such…chivalry, for lack of a better word, my love.”

“I told you, babe, slow and easy tonight.  I’m not going to ruin this for either of us by just charging ahead.  So,” he flicked the button again, “may I?”

Erika smiled.  “Of course, love.”

Chris arched his eyebrows and gave her a grin as he undid the button and pulled down the zipper.  He sat up and made short work of sliding her pants over her hips and down her long, shapely legs, leaving her in the lacy red underwear that matched her bra.  “Red is definitely your color, sweetheart,” he said with a chuckle.

Erika blushed and rolled her eyes.

Chris gave her a thoroughly wicked smile as he ran his hands over her calves.  His smiled faded when he felt her tense up.  “What’s wrong, babe?” he asked.

She blushed even harder; she had scars on her legs and despite the fact that he was forever telling her that he didn’t care about them, it still bothered her when he saw them.  “I know you say you don’t care about my scars…” she began.

“I don’t,” he interrupted.

“My love,” she said softly, “it’s going to take a little time for me to get over that.  Bear with me, please?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I just…”  He sighed.  “I don’t ever want you to be embarrassed with me.  I don’t see the scars; I see you.  And I think you’re beautiful.”  Unable to resist any longer, Chris laid his body fully over hers, something he’d always avoided doing, but just before he kissed her, he whispered, “Is this okay?  Am I too heavy?  Are you uncomfortable in any way?”

Erika looked into his eyes, her own bright with unshed tears at how gentle, how careful he was being with her.  “I’m fine, my love.  You feel good, better than I ever thought possible.”

Chris gave a little smile then lowered his head to kiss her.  For a long while, he did nothing but kiss her until he felt her completely relax under him.  He moved away from her lips and sprinkled kisses along her jaw as well as both cheeks then moved down to nibble lightly at her neck.  As he teased her, he felt her hands, which had stayed on his shoulders this whole time, start to move down along his back.  She tentatively ran her nails lightly over his spine and he shivered; he could feel her hum of pleasure at his reaction and he smiled against her skin.

Erika was sure she was dreaming.  This man simply could not be real.  Not only was he gentle and careful, he was an absolute master at waking up her senses, at making her whole body tingle and burn.  And he was so responsive to her every touch; he made her feel bold and she found herself wanting to make him feel as much she did at his hands.  She wasn’t entirely sure how – her two previous lovers were of the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” variety and she never had the chance to experiment with what made a man feel good – but she thought maybe if she mirrored what Chris was doing to her, she’d figure things out.  Because, God knew, Chris was making her feel _amazing_.

Chris lifted his head from her skin and looked into her eyes.  “Sweetheart, I know what I’m about to ask you to do is going to be difficult but I need you to trust me and know that I would never do anything to hurt or scare you.  I want you to close your eyes.  I want you to just feel and give yourself up to those feelings.  I know I’m making you feel good – it’s written all over your face – but I also know that you’re trying to please me and while I really appreciate that, it’s not about me tonight.  I want this to be all about you.  I want you to rediscover what makes you feel good, I want you to take every bit of pleasure out of this experience that you can.  When I come back, we’ll have all the time in the world for you to figure out what makes me feel good.  And I am _really_ looking forward to that, believe me.  But for now, my baby, just close your eyes, relax, and leave it all to me.  Do you think you can do that?”

“I’ll try, my love.  I trust you.”

“Good.  But what I said before still goes:  if anything I do makes you uncomfortable, tell me.  I don’t want to hurt you or cause you any pain; I just want to love you.  Okay?”

“Yes,” she said softly then closed her eyes.

“That’s my girl,” Chris whispered as he pushed himself up to straddle her hips.  He slowly ran his fingertips over her face then her neck then down to the swell of her breasts.  He listened as Erika’s breathing changed every time he did something different, mentally filing away the things that made her breath quicken and her body tremble.  He traced the line of lace that laid along the swell of her breast.  When he came to the bra’s front closure, he hesitated, debated whether he should ask permission again.  Deciding that she would let him know if she objected, he undid the clasp and peeled back the cups, baring her to his eyes.  She gave a little gasp and tensed just the slightest bit but said nothing and quickly relaxed.  Chris leaned over and reached for the straps on her shoulders and peeled them down her arms.  Sensing what he needed her to do, she arched her back once her hands were free of the straps, allowing Chris to pull the bra free from her body.  He tossed it over the side of the bed as she settled back down against the mattress.  He gently trailed the backs of his fingers along the tops of her breasts then up the sides, all the while avoiding her areolae and nipples.  He brought his fingers back towards the dusky, tightly puckered peaks then he cupped one breast as he lowered his mouth to the other.  He licked at the soft skin there, paying special attention to yet another faded scar, then took the taut peak in his mouth and laved at her nipple with the tip of his tongue.  When he began to suck, she let out a long moan and brought her hands up to grip his biceps.  He watched her face and saw her smile, even as a lone tear slipped out from under her closed eyelids.

Good lord, was this what she had been missing all these years?  Sure, she’d had her breasts fondled and kissed before but it had certainly never felt like this.  Whether it was experience, which she was sure he had in spades, or the fact that he loved her, or a combination of both, what he was doing to her now was just phenomenal.  Every movement of his hands and his tongue lit a fire in her core and she felt her body stirring in ways she’d forgotten existed.  When he moved to her other breast, he stoked the fire higher, and Erika was certain that nothing between Heaven and Earth had ever felt this good.

After he spent a long while worshipping her beautiful breasts, Chris resumed his exploration of her body with the pads of his fingers.  He traced every inch of her torso, skimmed his knuckles past her hips, and ran his palms down her firm thighs and calves.  He inched his way back up to her hips and decided that it was best if he asked permission to remove her panties.  After all, they were now in the area that could possibly cause her the most discomfort and anxiety.  “Sweetheart?”

She opened her eyes to find him sitting back on her thighs, his fingers lightly tracing the waistband of her panties.  “Yes, love?”

“Are you okay with me taking these off?”

Was she?  As far as she could tell, she _looked_ normal down there but then, she’d never seen herself from the point of view Chris currently had.  She would be lying if she said she wasn’t terrified of what he would see once he got her underwear off.  She looked into his eyes and saw his compassion, his anticipation…and his raging desire.  She was sure he could see the same desire in her eyes.  Well, she’d come this far.  It was, literally, now or never.  “Yes, love, I’m okay with it.”

Chris smiled.  “No, you’re not, not really but I love that you’re being brave enough to go with it.  Please just remember what I told you, sweetheart, I love you and I’m never _not_ going to want you.  Now, close your eyes, let yourself relax and just feel.”

Erika gave Chris a tentative smile then did as he asked.  She felt him slip his fingers under the waistband of her panties and willed herself to relax the tension she could already feel building up in her legs.  She fought to keep herself still but pliant as she felt the slide of the satin and lace over her hips and down her legs.  She finally let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding when she heard him murmur, “God, baby, you’re perfect…perfect, beautiful and mine.”

_Oh, thank God,_ she thought.  She cracked one eye open when she heard Chris chuckle.  “What?  Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did, babe.  You’re just too cute.  Now close that eye and let ol’ Chris take good care of you.”

Erika giggled and did as she was told.  She never remembered there being humor and fun while having sex.  Her prior experiences were all almost… mechanical.  And wasn’t that just _sad_?  She said this to Chris then wondered what happened when he didn’t respond, instead just going perfectly still at her words.  She cracked an eye open again and said, “Uh, love?  What’s wrong?”

Chris shook his head.  “Is that what you think is happening here, Erika?  That we’re having sex?”

Erika gaped at him, not knowing how to answer that.  “Uh, well, what else would you call it?  I mean, _intercourse_ or _coitus_ seem too clinical, even for a doctor like me.”

Chris’ eyes widened and he looked almost amused.  “Uh, yeah, very clinical.  But why don’t we call it what it is…making love.  I’m making love to you.  If sex was all I wanted, I would have a) gone to someone else, given your circumstances, and b) been done by now and long gone.”

Now Erika’s eyes widened and she felt her mouth snap shut.  Well.  That was blunt.  “You’ll have to forgive me then,” she said, a bit archly even though she tried to keep that out of her voice.  She paused, started to speak then paused again.  “I don’t think I’ve ever made love with anyone, actually,” she admitted quietly.

Chris’ face softened.  “Never?” he asked.  She shook her head.  “It was just…sex?” he asked.  She nodded.  He let out a soft sigh.  “Now _that_ is sad.  Well, my love, I’m about to change all that for you.”  He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lower belly then climbed off the bed.  Erika watched as he got rid of his pants (after he dug a couple of condoms out of his pocket and tossed them on the bed) and his underwear.  She couldn’t help but stare at him.  He was…wow.  Now she felt a fissure of fear run up her spine.  What if she couldn’t accommodate him?  What if all of his lovely effort turned out to be for naught?  “Chris…”

“You don’t have to say anything, sweetheart.  I see it in your eyes.  Let’s just see what happens, babe.  Let’s not go shutting things down without testing them out.  I’ll take care of you, I won’t hurt you…at least not intentionally.  I promise.”  He climbed back onto the bed and knelt between her legs.  He began to caress her again as he said, “Close your eyes, Erika.  Try not to open them again.  Relax and let yourself feel.  And, by the way, there’s not going to be a whole lot of talking from here on out, unless you need to tell me to stop.  Okay?”

Not knowing what to say to any of that, she simply nodded then closed her eyes.  They popped open again a second later as she reached out and touched his arm.  “I love you, Chris.”

“Oh, baby, I love you, too.”

She smiled then closed her eyes.  He was being so good to her, so patient and loving and kind.  She was going to do exactly as he told her:  she was going to relax and let herself feel.  They weren’t in some rat-infested dilapidated building, and he wasn’t some animalistic goon with rape on his mind.  He was the wonderful man who loved her, who brought light and happiness into her dark world, who didn’t ask for anything more than her love in return.  She owed it to him to trust him.  She owed it to both of them to let him make love to her.  She knew she would one day soon be able to return the favor.

Chris watched as Erika closed her eyes and visibly relaxed her body.  He smiled then settled himself between her legs.  He brought his mouth to the inside part of her left knee then kissed and licked his way up her inner thigh then trailed his tongue to her hipbone.  He kissed his way across her belly, delighting at the way her muscles fluttered and clenched under his lips then worked his way to her right hip, where he lingered for a long moment.  He trailed his lips and tongue down the inside of her right thigh, making her moan softly.  As he placed a kiss on her knee, he brought one hand up and trailed his fingers down her center.  She jumped a little at the contact and he could see that she was fighting to keep from tensing up.  He trailed his fingers back up then, as slowly and gently as he could, he replaced them with his mouth.  Erika jumped again and moaned, her hands fisting in the bedsheets.  When she didn’t become tense or try to retreat from him, he pressed another kiss against her then let his tongue follow the path his fingers had taken.  He gave a mental fist pump of triumph when he felt her go completely boneless.  Well, somebody liked what was being done to them.

Chris let himself explore her for a long while, tasting, licking, kissing her while listening to the beautiful sounds she made.  He deliberately avoided that one little bundle of nerves for the time being; he wanted her to feel good, to enjoy what he was doing before they found out whether that part of her had been damaged.  He wanted her to see that they could both still enjoy this part of lovemaking even if she couldn’t orgasm from it.  And, he was happy to see that she did seem to enjoy his attentions; he sure was having a good time.  She was responsive and sweet, everything he could have asked for in a woman.  Finally, he felt it was time.  He brought his tongue up and gently licked at that tiny bundle of nerves, the center of her sexual universe.  And he smiled against her.

Erika let out a loud gasp then nearly shouted, “Oh my God, oh my God, Chris!”  She could feel him!  She could feel what he was doing to her and her body responded to him!  For almost six years, she purposely didn’t touch herself there for fear of finding out that she had no feeling left.  But she did, she had feeling…good lord, she had too much feeling.  She was too hypersensitive and even though he was giving her pleasure, it was too much too soon and the pleasure was bordering on pain.  “Chris, darling, please, stop, stop!  It’s too much, it’s just too much!” she cried out.

Chris immediately pulled away.  He wiped his mouth and chin with his hand and moved up her body until his face was hovering above hers.  Her eyes were still closed but that didn’t stop her tears.  “Sweetheart, are you okay?  Tell me what’s wrong!  Did I hurt you?  Why are you crying?  Are you in pain?”  He slid off her to lay on his side and he gathered her into his arms.  “Talk to me, babe.  What’s wrong?  What hurts you?”

Erika wrapped her arms around Chris and struggled to control her breathing.  She hadn’t meant to scare him, to make him think he’d done something wrong.  On the contrary, he’d done everything right, too right, apparently.  Her body just wasn’t ready for it.  “Chris, no, darling, you didn’t hurt me.  It wasn’t you at all.  What you were doing felt so great, so amazing, but I guess I’m just oversensitive right now, overstimulated.  It was a bit overwhelming and I just reacted.  It wasn’t anything you did.  I guess it was just too much, too soon.  But I’m okay, love.  And completely thrilled that at least that part of my body wasn’t damaged.”  She pulled back enough to look at him.  “Really, love, I’m okay.  You did not hurt me.”

“Oh, God, babe, I was scared shitless there.  I thought I’d done something wrong.  And I tried to go slow, you know?”

“It was fine, love, really.  I was into it, I was loving it, but I didn’t realize that I would be so sensitive.”  She gave a little shrug and her lips quirked up into a smile.  “I guess all those years of disuse, you know…”  She pressed a kiss against his jaw.  “I’ll work on that problem while you’re away,” she said, a cheeky grin on her face.

Chris gave a shaky sigh then chuckled.  “Oh, you will, huh?  That’s supposed to be my job.”

“Oh, okay, so you want me to wait six weeks for you to come back and try again only to have the same thing happen?  Great idea.”

“Are you sassing me, woman?”  Chris said as he pushed Erika onto her back and climbed on top of her.

“Um, yes?” she answered with a giggle.

“Well, there are consequences to that sort of thing, you know.”

“Really?  Do tell.”

“Oh, man, you are in for it now,” Chris said as he lowered his head and took her mouth in a fierce kiss.  Erika automatically wrapped her arms around his shoulders then, unconsciously, brought her legs up to twine them around his hips.  She gasped into his mouth when his erection hit her in that just right spot and suddenly, the kiss became hotter, steamier, all teeth, tongues, and low moans.  Chris kissed her like he wanted to swallow her whole, and Erika gave as good as she got, her fears and inhibitions suddenly gone, passion and desire taking their place.  Neither of them had ever felt this way; this was a hunger born of a true and pure love, the likes of which they both knew they’d never again see in their lifetimes.

_What was done was done,_ Erika thought as she kissed Chris for all she was worth.  _I have to believe that whatever higher powers exist in this universe could not be so cruel as to destroy my life twice.  Those men took away so much, but this man is doing everything in his power to give it all back to me.  Every day that he’s with me, whether in body or in spirit, he’s freeing me from this prison.  He’s bringing me back to life.  Please, please, let me be able to have this, to have him.  Please don’t take all this relationship could be away from me, from us.  Please._

Erika pulled away from Chris’ hot mouth and panted, “Now, Chris, please.  I don’t want time to dwell on it.  It’s now or never.  I need to know.  We have to try.  Please, Chris, please.”

“Are you sure, babe?  Really and truly sure?”

“Yes, my love, really and truly sure.”

“Okay,” he said as he disentangled himself from her and looked for the condoms he’d left on the bed.  As Erika watched, he tore open the packet and rolled the condom onto his straining, weeping erection.  As he went back into her arms he said, “Remember, babe, if anything doesn’t feel right…”

“I’ll let you know, my love.  I promise.”

He bent his head and kissed her as he reached down between their bodies and positioned himself at her entrance.  Sending up a prayer that he wouldn’t hurt her, he entered her very slowly.  He pulled away from their kiss so he could watch her face as he slid further and further inside her.  He didn’t feel anything weird and nothing seemed to be impeding his progress.  Her face showed nothing but concentration…and pleasure.  Despite the coolness of the basement, he could feel his sweat dripping off him onto her own sweat slicked body.  Before he knew it, he was all the way home, and Erika was crying again, only these were tears of joy.  “Oh, my God, Erika…” he murmured, his voice thick with tears.

“I didn’t have any pain.  There were no obstructions.  Oh, Chris, my love, I’m okay, I mean, so far.”

“Jesus, Erika, I have to move.  I have to!”  At her nod, he slowly pulled out half way then pushed in again.  He pulled farther out the second time and slid back home, all the while watching her face for any signs of discomfort.  There weren’t any, just the happiest watery smile he’d ever seen on anyone.  He picked up his pace with each stroke and smiled as he felt Erika pick up the rhythm and meet each of his thrusts with one of her own.  They rocked against each other in a comfortable cadence as they whispered words of love and promise to each other, and Chris could feel himself headed towards a glorious release.  Then, something miraculous happened.  Erika suddenly tightened around him with a vice-like grip, her eyes wide with shock and surprise.  She arched her back and cried out his name and came completely apart in his arms.  Seconds later, Chris found his release as he shouted out her name, his vision going white, his arms tightening around the woman he adored.

 

Erika slowly came up from the depths of sleep, her body heavy and sore but completely sated, her mind and heart relaxed and deliriously happy.  She smiled as she realized what it was that was resting across her legs and midsection.  _Whoever it is I have to thank in this universe, you have my undying gratitude_ , she thought as she turned to look at the big, beautiful man whose arm and leg were lying protectively across her body.  God, he was gorgeous in his sleep, his face relaxed and peaceful, those obscenely long eyelashes of his resting just above his finely sculpted cheekbones.

She turned back to stare up at the high ceilings of her basement home.  She had just done what she’d come to believe would be impossible after that brutal attack.  She was sore, yes, but that was to be expected.  But she wasn’t in pain and nothing had impeded Chris when he entered her.  Despite the pain and agony she’d suffered, both during and after the attacks, she’d apparently healed normally and was able to engage in sexual relations like any healthy thirty year old woman.  Of course, she was going to honor her promise to Chris to go see his doctor cousin and have herself checked out.  She had other concerns:  just because she could have sexual intercourse, it didn’t mean there couldn’t be other problems, perhaps some of a reproductive nature.  She kind of doubted it but it wouldn’t hurt to have a professional opinion on the matter because, well…  She smiled.  Talk about getting ahead of herself, thinking about having Chris’ children.  But the possibility was there, more now than ever.  Her smile morphed into a grin.

“Now there’s what I like to see.  A happy, satisfied woman.”

She turned to look at him.  “And how long have you been awake?”

“Just long enough to see you turn up the wattage on that gorgeous smile of yours.  What were you thinking about?”

She gave an amused snort.  “Really?  You’re seriously asking that question?  What do you think?”

“Oh, I can think of a lot of things,” Chris said, giving her a cheeky grin.

“I’ll just bet you can.”

“One thing I was thinking about was maybe putting that other condom to good use.”

“Well, it would be a shame to let it go to waste, love, but there is no way I can handle a second round tonight.  I need some serious recovery time here.”

He was instantly concerned.  “Are you hurting, babe?”

“Not at all.  I’m just sore, but in a truly excellent way.  Why don’t I just put it away and we’ll have it for tomorrow night.  You were planning to come down here to say…well, you were planning to come down here, right?”

“Absolutely.  I want to spend time with you tomorrow night.  I leave for Boston the day after tomorrow to meet up with my family then we’re heading out to L.A. two days after that…”

She put a finger against his lips.  “I know your itinerary, darling; you left me a copy, remember?”

“And you memorized it?”

“Every word.  Eidetic memory, love.  Genius, remember?”

He grinned then kissed the finger she still had against his lips.  “Yeah, I remember.”  He pulled her hand away and leaned over to kiss her.  “I gotta go to the loo, babe.  Wait for me here?”

“I won’t move a muscle.”

He gave her a fond look.  “I love you more than life itself, you know that, right?”

“And I you, my darling.  Now go; I’ll be right here when you get back.”  They smiled at each other, both knowing her words meant more than just his return from the bathroom.  He kissed her again then climbed out of bed.  She watched him walk away in all his naked glory and gave a happy sigh.  _There’s my reward for all the pain and suffering, all the darkness and solitude I’ve endured.  There has never been a more fortunate woman on the face of this Earth.  I am truly blessed._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I can make people cry with my stories but I'm gonna give it the old college try in the next chapter! Thanks for reading!


	13. Think Of Me Fondly When We've Said Goodbye...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Chris and Erika to say goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a little trouble getting this one done but I hope you all enjoy it...

Melancholy hung in the air like the scent of candlewax.  While she was used to the wax smell, the melancholy was not quite as tolerable.  Today was Chris’ last day at the theatre for the next six weeks.  _Six weeks._   Ordinarily, that amount of time would pass her by without notice, but not now, not when she’d gotten used to music and dancing and shared laughter and shared meals; long, slow, mind-altering kisses, warm hugs, and, after last night, the joys of intimate pleasures she’d thought lost to her.  The man she’d come to think of as her sunshine in human form wasn’t going to be around for six bloody weeks, and Erika had absolutely no idea how she was going to pass the time without his visits to look forward to, without those stolen moments upstairs in his dressing room, without the flowers he still liked to bring her, just to see her smile.

She should be furious with him for not having told her sooner but…he was right.  Had he said something sooner, she would have distanced herself in order to avoid the very thing that was weighing so heavily on her now – he wasn’t going to be around.  Could she really have distanced herself, though, especially after their little war of the roses, when he said such amazing things to her through the flowers he’d chosen to send her?  Or after that incredible first date and that equally incredible first kiss?  No.  She had to be honest with herself.  She’d fallen for Chris Evans long before she’d given him that Jacob’s Ladder plant and invited him to “come down to” her.  And what he said last night – that she’d subconsciously made the decision to step out into the light the minute she’d let him in – was absolutely true.  She knew that to be with him, she would have to become part of his world and to do that, she’d have to try to reclaim her life.  Of course, her life was irrevocably changed the night she and Mira were kidnapped but she had the power to change her life for the better…and Chris was there to help.

Six weeks was going to seem like a lifetime, even with Josh telling her that he would come down to see her every day and Chris’ promise to chat with her via Skype every night.  But, on the bright side, once he came back, Chris was going to be upstairs through mid-September and in that time, they were going to work towards acclimating her to the world outside.  The ultimate goal was for her to be ready to leave with him for Atlanta in late October.  Four months ago, the thought of leaving the basement forever would have never crossed her mind for another few years – and only when Greg finally announced his retirement – but Chris Evans changed all that – he changed her.  And now she was making plans to go live in Atlanta with him for close to a year while he filmed the next two installments of the _Avengers_ movies.  It was surreal, it was exciting, and she didn’t know how she would ever repay him for giving her back…hope, happiness, and love.

The cast and crew of the show were giving Chris a little send-off after the performance tonight at Carmine’s.  Chris felt bad about having to cut into his time with Erika that night but she told him to go and have fun.  “I’ll be right here waiting for you, love,” she’d told him that afternoon as she visited with him in his dressing room.  “It’s nice of them to have a little going away party for you, even if you are coming back fairly soon.”

Chris had snorted.  “Yeah, I’m thinking it’s just more of an excuse to break out the booze.”

“Be that as it may, you’re the guest of honor.  Go, smile, have a drink or two then come back to me.  We’ll have our own little celebration,” she’d said, giving him a wink and a seductive smile.

“Ooh, baby,” he’d said as he pulled her into his arms, “now _that_ sounds like my kind of party.”

Erika walked around the basement, putting out candles as she went while she waited for Chris to come back from Carmine’s.  She wanted a more romantic atmosphere with less light than usual.  When she was satisfied with how everything looked, she went back to her sitting area to retrieve the bottle of wine she had chilling and the two special wineglasses Gregory had gifted her earlier in the day.  They were beautiful Waterford crystal and Greg had said as he handed the box to her, “You should use these just for special occasions, like his farewell tonight, his homecoming in six weeks, your engagement, your wedding…”  He’d trailed off with a cheeky grin as Erika’s face turned bright red.

“Really, Gregory, we haven’t even talked about any of that.”

“Just because you haven’t talked about it doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen,” he’d said over his shoulder as he walked into the freight elevator.  He’d laughed as he saw her make a face at him just before the elevator door slid shut.

She’d just arranged the bottle and the two glasses on her bedside table when she heard the loud squeak from the back door.  A moment later, Chris emerged from the darkness, looking spectacular in a suit and tie.  Well, good thing she’d decided to dress up this evening.  She’d found a long sleeve, crew neck, form fitting dress with a royal blue bodice and black skirt lurking in the back of her wardrobe.  It was the dress she’d worn to dinner the day she and Mira had gotten the results of their medical licensing exams.  The party boys and girls had taken them out to celebrate Mira and Erika’s becoming fully licensed doctors.  She hadn’t worn the dress since but she kept it for sentimental reasons.  She was happy she had; the expression on Chris’ face when he saw her in it was priceless.

“Oh, babe, you look spectacular.  I love that dress.  God, you’re gorgeous,” he said as he set down the boxes he was carrying and came to her.  He drew her into his arms and gave her a long, slow kiss. 

When they pulled apart, she grinned up at him.  “You’re not exactly a slouch yourself, Mr. Evans.  You look fantastic in that suit.  Seems to me you were born to wear them.”

He laughed.  “That’s what my mother says!”

“Great minds, darling, great minds,” she chuckled as she patted him on the cheek.  It was amazing, really; she’d been feeling melancholy all day but the minute this man came around her, she was all smiles, totally cheerful.  How on earth did he do that?  “So, it appears you came bearing gifts…?”  She nodded towards the boxes Chris had set down.

“Oh, yeah, I brought the laptop and modem I got you…and I picked up some fettucine Alfredo with grilled chicken from Carmine’s.  I figured you’d be hungry.”

She smiled.  He knew exactly what she liked.  “Thank you, love!  I’m quite famished, actually.  Let me set the table.  You did bring some for yourself, did you not?”

“Of course.  I wasn’t going to let my best girl eat alone.”

Erika laughed as she stepped over to the table they used for their meals.  She picked up the books and papers she’d been looking through that morning and took them to her sitting room.  She returned with paper plates and plastic cutlery.  She figured they could crack open the bottle of wine she’d already set out to have with their dinner.  Chris had already started setting out the food containers, and she made quick work of setting the table.  She asked Chris to get the wine and uncork it while she dished out the meal.  Moments later, they settled down and began to eat.  It was funny, she thought as she dug into her fettucine, how easily they’d settled into a routine, setting up for dinner as seamlessly as if they’d been doing it for years, not weeks.  Would their relationship always be that way, comfortable, easy, in sync?  She hoped so.  As much as she loved him, and he loved her, she couldn’t help but feel as though she was still taking an enormous chance with him.  Well, she supposed, after six years under her particular circumstances, she could be forgiven for being a little nervous about the changes that were about to happen in both their lives.

“You’re awfully quiet over there, Brains,” he said, using one of the many pet names he had for her, “is something wrong?”

She gave him a look.  “You’re having me on, right?  Which one of us is leaving this evening for six weeks, hmm?”

He put down his fork.  “Honey, I know it’s going to be hard.  It’s going to be hell for me, too.  I love being around you; I love knowing that you’re only a couple of floors away from me.  For the next six weeks, you’ll be thousands of miles away, and that’s gonna be so fucking hard to deal with.  I’m not the biggest fan of the press tours but they’re made bearable because of my co-stars, who are also my friends.  And, if I happened to be dating someone while on those tours, I’ve missed them, sure, but…not like I know I’m going to miss you.  You and me, babe, we’re the real deal.  You’ve gotten under my skin and into my blood; you’re a part of my heart, my soul.  Being away from you is going to suck so bad.  But I want us to end tonight not just with some really good lovin’, but with a smile and some good laughs and maybe a dance or two…and a promise that we’re going to talk every day, if possible, and that we’re going to pick up where we left off when I get back.  Remember, babe, I may be leaving town but there is no way in hell I’m leaving you.  There’s a big difference.”

Erika reached over and covered his hand with hers.  “I’m sorry, love.  I’m acting as if I’m the only one who’s going to hurt over this separation.  I needed to be reminded that I’m not.  This isn’t goodbye, this is…see you later.”  She gave him a smile even as she blinked back tears.

“That would be sooo convincing if I didn’t see you fighting back tears,” Chris said with a grin.

“Sorry, love.  I guess I’ll just have to leave the acting up to you.”  She winked at him then went back to her food.

Chris watched her, his smile fading a bit.  Saying ‘see you later’ to this woman was going to be one of the hardest things he would ever do.  All he wanted was to get her packed up and take her along with him.  Robert, Sebastian, Anthony, Jeremy, Scarlett, hell, all of them would accept her in a heartbeat, the damage to her face be damned.  She was a wonderful person, caring, funny, smart – there was nothing about her they wouldn’t love.  Once you got over seeing the scars for the first time, they faded from view because the sheer force of her personality made you pay attention to her, not to what had been done to her.  Still, she needed to be reintroduced to the world outside little by little.  Dragging her off on a quick world tour where she would be out there for all the world to see would probably do more harm than good to her still delicate psyche.  Yes, she was completely natural, completely herself with Greg and Josh and, most importantly, with him and she probably would be that way with the rest of his crew but exposing her to his world of airports and hotels and journalists with their sometimes inane or utterly inappropriate questions and the sometimes too rabid fans would cause her to retreat into her shell like a turtle under attack…and she might never come back out.  He couldn’t risk that, not after all the strides they’d made since they met in January.  Slow and easy, that’s how it had to be.  His personal desires would just have to take a back seat to her well-being, her peace of mind.  She meant the world to him; he could never, ever cause her harm.

 

The rest of the evening went well.  Chris helped Erika set up the new laptop and modem – well, Erika the computer whiz set things up while Chris “supervised” – and he regaled her with stories from past press tours and the nonsense he got up to with his co-stars and good friends Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie while she transferred her files, movies and music from her old laptop to the new one.  Once that was done, he insisted she put on her big band playlist and they swing danced and jitterbugged their way around the basement.  They ended their little dance marathon to the strains of “Moonlight Serenade,” the tune they first danced to, the one Chris had come to think of as “their song.”

Chris danced her over to the bed then lowered his head and took her mouth in a long, slow kiss that had them both moaning in mere moments.  He broke the kiss and stepped back enough to turn her around so he could unzip the beautiful dress she’d worn to surprise him.  As he slowly pulled the zipper down, he bent and placed a kiss on each patch of skin that came into view; he smiled as he felt her shiver and watched as goosebumps pebbled her skin.  He raised his hands and slipped them under the shoulders of the dress.  He pushed at the fabric and watched as the dress slid down her body to pool around her high-heel clad feet.  She bent gracefully to pick up the dress then turned to face him.  Chris gasped.  She was wearing a stunning royal blue bra and panty set, reminiscent of the one she wore the night before but even sexier.  “Babe, oh my God!  Wow!  But I thought you said you only owned the red set?”

Erika blushed an adorable shade of pink as she said, “I ordered these online a couple of days ago in honor of tonight and had them delivered to Gregory’s apartment.  He brought them to me this afternoon.  I owe him big; his face was a rather bright shade of red when he handed me the package.”

“Well, I certainly appreciate the forethought, sweetheart; you look _so fucking hot_.  But, if you don’t mind, from now on I’ll be quite happy to wander into Victoria’s Secret and pick up some things for you, no problem.”

Erika gave him a mischievous little smile.  “You would put yourself out for me like that?  Darling, I don’t know what to say!  I’m so touched!  I know that would be _such_ a hardship and inconvenience for you.”

“You’re mocking me, aren’t you?” Chris said in his best Buzz Lightyear impression, a grin fighting to break out over his face.

“Me?  Never, love!”  With a smirk, she tossed the dress over towards the chair where Chris had left his suit jacket after dinner.  “It’s just, well, think of it:  the gorgeous and heretofore single Chris Evans spotted shopping at Victoria’s Secret, purchasing lacy underthings in a size that’s considerably larger than what your basic emaciated supermodel would wear – oh, the scandal!  Think of the headlines on every tabloid known to man!  I couldn’t possibly ask you to endure that kind of gossip and scrutiny, my love.”

“I’ll deal with it,” he growled playfully as he hauled her back into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers.  He gentled the kiss when he felt her stiffen slightly then relax.  He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered, “I didn’t mean to be so rough with you.  I just forget sometimes, you know?”

“Oh, no, darling, you’ve nothing to apologize for.  I didn’t stiffen because you scared me or anything like that.  I was just surprised that you went a little caveman on me.  You’re usually so gentle.  But that’s not to say I didn’t thoroughly enjoy that little flash of your inner Neanderthal.”  She smiled at his raised eyebrows.  “My love, I know that you don’t have a cruel or mean bone in your body and that you would never intentionally hurt me or inflict any kind of pain.  You are my sweetness, my sunshine, my savior…and the love of my life.  We’ll have to ease into it a bit but I don’t think I’ll have a problem with you doing the occasional “Me Tarzan, you Jane” thing with me.”  She sighed.  “God knows you have the body to play that particular part.”

“And you’ve got the body I want to go all caveman for.  God, you’re amazing, Erika.  And you are the love of _my_ life.”  He gave her a gentle kiss.  “Let me show you how much I love you, Erika.  Let me give you something to reminisce about until I get back to you.”

“Sounds wonderful, love,” she said softly as she reached up and undid his tie.  “You’re a tad overdressed, however.  Let’s remedy that, shall we?”

He smiled.  “Yes, let’s.”  Working together, they quickly divested Chris of his clothes.  He picked Erika up exactly as he had when her knees gave out on their first date and gently laid her on the bed.  He covered her body with his and with his lips, tongue, teeth, and hands, he proceeded to make love to her until she was crying from desire and, ultimately, screaming his name as he brought her over the edge again and again.  Just when he thought he’d exhausted her past the point of coherence, she surprised him by pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him.  At his surprised look, she merely smiled wantonly and said, “I, too, need to give you something to reminisce about whilst you’re away, my love.”  With that, she mirrored his earlier actions to a T and when she had him once more erect and straining, she blew his mind by taking him in her mouth and working him until _he_ was crying from desire.

“Erika…Erika, baby, please, sweetheart, I’m almost there,” he ground out between hoarse moans of ecstasy.  She merely suckled him harder and gave him a cheeky thumb’s up.  “Erika, do you have any idea what you’re about to do?”  Another thumb’s up.  “Are you sure, baby?”  She gave him the okay sign then took one more hard pull, sending Chris over the edge with a shout that Erika was sure Greg heard upstairs.  She stayed with him, milked him dry and licked him clean.  She finally pulled away from him and sat back, an obscenely sexy and utterly triumphant smile on her face.  She looked very much like a cat who’d bagged not one but two canaries.

Chris slowly came back to his senses to find Erika delicately wiping the corners of her mouth, that hot smile still on her lips.  “ _Shit!_ ” he exclaimed hoarsely, sounding to Erika very much like his character Jensen in _The Losers_.  “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?  And can you swear to me that you’ll be able to do it again…and again and again?”

She collapsed onto the bed next to him, her laughter echoing in the cavernous room.  “I didn’t actually _learn_ to do that, love.  Call it, um, a natural talent.  I think that may be the only reason my last boyfriend and I lasted as long as we did.  When he became more interested in doing that than anything else – at my expense, of course – I wished him well and showed him the door.”  She gave him a mischievous look.  “I would hope that there will be a _lot_ more quid pro quo with you, Christopher.”

Chris gently wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, remembering that she sometimes involuntarily shied away from that particular gesture, and brought her down to him for a long, languid kiss.  When they broke apart, he said, “Unlike your idiot ex-boyfriend, I’m all about _making love_ to you, not just having sex, and there’s a lot more I’d like to do to and with you and there’s a lot more I want you to do to me.  When I get back, I promise to show you what I like and I plan to learn more about what you like.  We’re in this together, so, yeah, there’s gonna be a _ton_ of quid pro quo, sweetheart.”

“Fabulous,” she said as she leaned forward to claim his mouth.

 

Two hours later, after another round of lovemaking, this one much more intense than any before it because it was their last until his return, Erika, wrapped up in a beautiful silk robe Chris surprised her with that evening, walked hand in hand with him to the freight elevator.  In his free hand he carried a small gift bag containing one of the most beautiful watches he’d ever seen, one that had to have set her back several thousand dollars.  He remembered Greg had once told him that Erika was “comfortable” but didn’t elaborate on _how_ comfortable.  After opening the box that contained that amazing watch, Chris concluded Erika was _extremely_ comfortable.

He’d been downright speechless when Erika handed him the small box after he’d gotten dressed to leave.  “Honey, what’s this?”

She shrugged, her eyes sad despite the brave face she had on.  “It’s just a little going away present, love.  Something to remind you of me.”

“I think you’ve given me plenty to remind me of you, babe,” he said, chuckling as he watched her roll her eyes.

“Just open the damn box,” she said, exasperated.

Chris grinned as he did what she ordered then his grin faded as his amusement turned into shock.  It was a round chronograph watch with a beautiful blue face and black leather strap.  And it was from Baume & Mercier, a fancy Swiss watchmaker.  _And_ he knew this thing was ridiculously expensive.  “Sweetheart,” he said, his voice full of awe at this stunning gift, “this is gorgeous but you shouldn’t have spent so much money.  I would have been happy with anything you gave me.  Even a book would have been cool.”

Erika arched an eyebrow at him.  “I have money.  Lots of money, if you want to be crude about it.  And I can spend it any way I see fit.  I saw fit to give the man I love a watch befitting his awesomeness…and his penchant for really fine timepieces.  Remember, I’ve seen several of your other watches.  This one fits right in with your collection.”

If nothing else, Erika was frighteningly observant.  He guessed one would have to be in order to be a good doctor.  And she noticed that he did have a weakness for really fine watches.  He didn’t have a Baume & Mercier in his collection…until now.  But this would be his favorite, the most special watch in his collection, because it was given to him by the woman he adored.  He stared at the watch for a long moment then looked up at Erika, his eyes shiny with unshed tears.  “I don’t know what to say, babe.”

“’Thank you’ would just about cover it,” she said with a small smile.

“Thank you wouldn’t be enough, my sweet girl,” he said as he took her in his arms, the gift box still in his hand.  He held her tightly and whispered in her ear, “Thank you, Erika.  The watch is amazing; you’re amazing.  I love it and I love you.”

“See?” she’d said, fighting the urge to cry.  “That wasn’t so hard, was it?  You’re most welcome…and I love you, too.”

Now they stood in front of the freight elevator, neither one knowing just how to say goodbye or, as she’d put it earlier, “see you later.”  Close to tears, Chris simply leaned forward and gave Erika a deep, heartfelt kiss, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.  Erika returned the kiss with every ounce of the love she felt for him, her hands nervously rubbing his back.  Many long moments later, Chris lifted his lips from hers and whispered, “I’m going to miss you every second of every minute of every day, Erika.  I’m going to feel lost knowing that you’re so far away from me.  But I promise you this, I’m going to make sure that you know I’m always thinking about you.  Besides wearing this watch all the time, I’ll tug on my ear or pull on my collar or do _something_ to flash this watch.  Every time I do so, I want you to know that I’m saying hi to you, that I’m thinking of you, that you are always on my mind, even during interviews and press conferences and meet and greets.  Leaving you right now is just so fucking hard but I’m going to make it up to you when I come back so, brace yourself, babe.”  He gave her a slightly watery smile.

Erika giggled even as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.  “I promise to watch every single one of your interviews on YouTube, my love.  And trust me when I tell you that if you neglect to flash that watch, I’m going to call you out on it.”

“Oh, I’m certain you will,” he said with a laugh.

“Yes, I will, because I will be hanging on your every word, studying your every facial and body movement because for the next six weeks, that’s all I’ll have of you.  I never knew it was even possible to miss someone as much as I know I’m going to miss you.  You’ve spoiled me, Christopher.  This enormous room was always my sanctuary, my safe haven but since I met you, it’s now simply the place where I bide my time until I am truly home…in your arms.  You are my sanctuary, my safe haven.  I love you, Chris, I adore you as I have no other.  My heart, my soul, my very being belong to you.  Take care of yourself and come back to me.”  She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss.  “I will see you later, my darling,” she whispered hoarsely, her voice thick with tears.

“I love you, Erika.  I can’t wait to come back to you.  I’ll see you later, my sweet girl.”  He gave her another long kiss, their tears co-mingling.  Chris finally forced himself away from her and stepped onto the waiting elevator.

Just as she had done after their first date, Erika asked, “Do you have everything?”

He smiled at her and answered her exactly as he had that night.  “Nope.  I’m leaving you behind, aren’t I?”

She smiled as well, despite the fast falling tears.  “Well, at least you know where you’ll always find me.”

“There is that,” he said, his voice rough.  “Good night, sweetheart.  I love you.  Sweet dreams.”

“Good night, my darling.  Have a good trip.  I love you.  Stay safe, my love.”

They waved at each other as the elevator door slid closed.  Erika stood still as a statue, listening until the elevator came to a stop upstairs.  Only then did she turn back towards the enormous, dark room she’d been calling home for almost six years.  She started walking back towards the unmade bed, slowly at first but then gathering speed.  She threw herself onto the mattress and began to cry in earnest, her deep, shuddering sobs wracking her body as she curled herself into a ball around the pillow he’d slept on.  Pain, the likes of which she hadn’t felt since she’d watched those animals slowly kill Mira, lanced through her heart.  How was she going to survive the next six weeks without him in her arms?  _How?_

 

Chris stepped off the elevator and slowly walked over to Greg’s station.  His bags sat by the guard’s desk, his coat lying across them.  “Thanks for getting my bags out of the dressing room, Greg,” he said hoarsely.

The older man nodded.  “My pleasure, Chris.  Figured you wouldn’t want to stick around longer than you had to.”

“You figured right.”

Greg hated to see this normally jovial young man suffering like he was.  And if Chris was this broken up, he could only imagine how badly Erika was handling their separation.  He gestured towards the gift bag in Chris’ hand.  “Did you like it?”

“It’s gorgeous.  Would you like to see it?”

“I already have.  I picked it up for Erika this morning.  She ordered it under my name.  It sure is a beauty.  Wear it in good health.”

Chris nodded.  “Thanks,” he said.  He sighed and shook his head.  “I don’t mean to be rude, Greg, but I really have to get out of here.  I just…I can’t…I want to go back downstairs so bad,” he said with a helpless shrug.

“I know you do, son.”  Greg stood and came around the desk.  He reached out and pulled Chris in for a tight hug, which Chris gladly returned.  This man, Erika’s surrogate father and the person who made things easier for him to be with the woman he loved, had become a good and trusted friend.  “I’ll take good care of her while you’re away, Chris.  I’ll even look after Josh for you.”

Chris gave a watery laugh.  “Thanks.  Make sure Josh doesn’t do anything overly stupid while I’m gone, okay?”

Greg laughed.  “I’ll do what I can.”  He let Chris go but reached up and patted the handsome young actor on the cheek.  “She’ll be okay; you both will.  Josh and I will keep an eye on her and the six weeks will be over before you know it.  You’ll be back and we’ll start getting her back into the light.  It’s time, you know?”

Chris nodded.  “Way past time. Man, I gotta go.  Look in on her tonight, okay?  I’m pretty certain she’s going to be in rough shape.  I know I’ll be.”  He stepped around Greg, grabbed his coat and put it on.  He picked up his duffel and slung it over his shoulder then grabbed the handle of his rolling suitcase.  “I’ll see you in six weeks, Greg.”

“I’m looking forward to your return…and to your movie.  Maybe I’ll get Erika to go with me on the morning it opens.  It’s probably going to be playing at one of the big multiplexes on Forty-second Street.  I’m sure she’ll enjoy seeing your face on the big screen for the very first time.”

“I hope she goes with you.  I’d love to hear both of your reactions to it.  Well, I’ll see you soon, Greg.”

“See you soon, Chris.  Safe travels.”

“Thanks, man.”  Chris turned to the stage door and let himself out.  Greg stepped up and locked the door behind him.  He sighed and, without turning around, said, “I’m gonna make you some chamomile tea, sweetie, okay?”  He turned then and found Erika, her face blotchy and tear-stained, standing next to his desk, wearing jeans, ballet flats and a plaid shirt that obviously belonged to Chris.  “He know you pilfered that out of his dressing room?”

“This and a couple of his tee shirts but, in answer to your question, no, he doesn’t know.  Somehow, though, I don’t think he’ll mind considering he took one of my shirts last night when he thought I wasn’t looking.”

Greg chuckled.  “You guys are too much.”  He sobered when he saw the tears leaking from Erika’s beautiful eyes.  “Come on, sweetie, let’s go get that tea.”  He started moving towards her but was stopped in his tracks when Erika threw herself against him and did something she’d never done once in the six years he’d known her:  she sobbed in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued readership!


	14. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Chris off on his press tour, Erika tries to fill her time by taking long walks away from the theatre, much to Chris and Josh's dismay. Unfortunately, on one of these walks, Erika sees something she'd hadn't bargained on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the long delay in updating Think of Me. As you may have seen in the summary, I lost my mother and my only brother in early August. Life's been a really bumpy road since then, and to make matters worse, I lost my beloved dog, Emma, on October 17. It's times like these that makes you wonder just how much heartbreak a body can stand. Everything seems to come to a standstill as you try to process and work through your grief. I couldn't even write - and writing has always been such a comfort to me. Well, last week I promised myself - and a delightful young writer I've found here on AO3, Emma98 - that I would finish this chapter, which I had started writing just before my mom and bro passed away, and, finally, here it is. I hope you enjoy it. And, I'm glad to have you back, dear readers.

“So, how was the premiere?” Erika and Josh were in Josh’s dressing room late at night, after everyone had left the theatre.  Josh had picked up the routine Chris had had, where he would leave the theatre, as if for the night, get dinner for himself, Erika and Greg, then wait until Greg called to say the coast was clear.  He’d come back to the Booth and head to his dressing room where Erika would be waiting for him with her laptop and portable modem.  Tonight was the night of the Los Angeles premiere; it also marked a week since Chris had left.  As promised, he Skyped with Erika every night but he had to be creative about it since his family was staying with him at his L.A. home.  Poor Erika would have to either stay up until two in the morning, or set her alarm for that hour, in order to speak with Chris at eleven p.m. Los Angeles time, when he'd be finally alone in his room.  But, as they both told Josh the day before, it was worth all the trouble in order to see each other for a little while every night.  They missed each other something fierce.

“It was good.  Huge turnout.  Everyone had a good time.  By the way, Kat says hi, Josh.  She also wanted to know why she hasn’t been able to catch you at home before midnight this past week.”

“Uh oh,” Erika said as she bumped her shoulder playfully against Josh’s, “do you think your lady suspects you’re spending time with your best friend’s girl?”

Josh sighed as Chris laughed.  “I’m sure Kat would have _plenty_ to say to Josh if she suspected he wasn’t toeing the line.”

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to both of you about that,” Josh said to his friends.  He turned to look at Erika, picking up her left hand with his right and interlacing their fingers.  “E,” he began, only to be interrupted by Chris saying, “Wait a minute, wait a minute…Groban, are you holding my girl’s hand?  Geez, bro, I’m out of town a week and already you’re getting all cozy like that?”

Josh sighed again as Erika gave Chris a mock glare and said, haughtily, “Well, _he’s_ here and _you’re_ not.  Love the one you’re with and all that, Evans.”  Josh choked on his laughter as Chris all but shouted, “What the _fuck_?!”

“Keep it down, Chris, or you’re gonna wake your family!” Josh admonished between chuckles.  “Then _you’re_ gonna have some explaining to do as to why you’re talking to us on Skype in the middle of the night.”

“You keep sassing me like that, woman, and there will be all kinds of hell to pay when I get back,” Chris said as he wagged his finger at Erika.

“Promises, promises,” she said airily.  Chris grinned.  It was good to see her laughing and joking.  She’d had a tough time keeping it together during their first couple of Skype calls; the minute his face came up on the monitor, she would start crying.  She was much better now and Chris had his best friend to thank for that.  Josh had started spending as much time as he could with Erika, talking to her, consoling her, doing everything he could to make her feel better after Chris left.  He owed Josh big time.  “Hey, Josh, all kidding aside, go ahead and finish what you were about to say to Erika.”

Josh nodded then turned to Erika again.  “All I wanted to ask was if it would be okay for me to tell Kat about you.  You heard what Chris said – she’s wondering why I’ve been so hard to get a hold of this past week.  I don’t like keeping things from her.  And she’s the best, E.  She’ll keep quiet about you.  Hell, she’ll look out for you just as much as Chris, Greg or I would.  I really want to come clean about why I’m always getting home so late.  Would you mind?”

Erika gazed into Josh’s big brown eyes for a moment then turned to look at Chris, as if she was seeking confirmation from him about what Josh had said about Kat.  “Kat Dennings is good people, sweetheart.  She’ll keep our secret, trust me.  The only thing is that the minute she gets back to New York, she’s going to want to meet you and make you a part of her little posse.  She’s cool like that.”

Erika nodded then looked back to Josh.  “I don’t want to cause you any problems in your relationship or make you keep secrets from your love, Josh.  Yes, you may tell your girlfriend about me.”  She paused.  “Do you really think she’ll want to meet me, that she’ll want to…become friends?”

“Definitely.  Kat’s the best, and she’ll do everything she can to make you feel comfortable with her.  You’ll see,” Josh said with a smile.

“Don’t worry, honey,” Chris said gently, “it’ll be great.  You trust me, right?”

Erika smiled at him.  “With my life.”

“Okay then, on that note, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” Josh said as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Erika’s temple.  “I’ll see you tomorrow for a late lunch downstairs.  We agreed on two-thirty, right?  And you wanted sushi?”

“Yes, two-thirty and yes, most definitely sushi,” she answered with a laugh.

“It’s a date!” Josh said.  He turned and blew a kiss to Chris.  “Talk to you tomorrow, bro.  Love you, man!”

“Love you, too, bro.  And thanks.”

“My pleasure, Chris.  Goodnight, guys!”  Josh turned, grabbed his duffel bag from the floor and headed out of his dressing room.  A moment later, Erika heard him say goodnight to Greg.

“So, what did you do today, babe?” Chris asked, settling back against his headboard, his laptop sitting on his thighs.

“I’m trying to get some research done,” Erika said as she picked the laptop up off Josh’s dressing table and carried it over to his couch.  She plopped down with her back against the armrest and put her feet up on the cushions.  She saw Chris smile as he watched her wiggle around until she was comfortable then settle the computer on her lap.

“What kind of research?”

“I was only days away from receiving my permanent resident status from the INS when I went missing.  I don’t know if my green card was ever sent to the Rothschild residence.  Whether it was or not, would I even still have permanent resident status considering I’ve been missing and presumed dead for the past six years?  I realize mine is a truly bizarre situation but these are things I need to find out somehow.  If my status was revoked because of my disappearance, once I resurface, there’s a chance I could wind up being deported.”

“Over my dead body!” Chris exclaimed.

Erika laughed.  “I don’t think it’s quite that simple, my love.  I may have to hire a lawyer to help me with this and perhaps, if my residency was revoked, apply for some sort of special condition that will allow me to stay here until we can sort through this mess.”

“Lawyers I got,” Chris said.  “Just say the word and I’ll put them to work on this.”  He stopped short.  “Wait.  You’re concerned about your immigration status.  That means you definitely plan to make your home here?”

She nodded.  “That was my intent all along, to live and work here in New York.”

“But now, you want to stay in the U.S. to be with me,” he hesitated then continued, “to live here with me, right?”

She gave him a slow smile.  “That is the new plan, yes.  I’m also researching the possibility of renewing my medical license but now, my main reason for staying is…you.”  Erika heard his breath hitch – she loved that Chris was a deeply sensitive man who wasn’t afraid to show his emotions – and her smile deepened.

“I love you so very, very much, Erika,” he said softly.

“I love you more.”

 

“Where are you going _now_?”

Erika stopped short.  She’d forgotten that Greg really did seem to have eyes in the back of his head.  She was only steps away from the stage door and making her getaway.  She turned and gave him a sheepish smile.  “Just out for a little walk is all,” she said sweetly.

“At eight forty-five in the evening?”

“This is the perfect time for a walk, Gregory.  Some of the theatres are letting out now, so the streets will be crowded and no one will notice me.  And I’ll be back before the show lets out here.”

“Don’t you have a call with Chris tonight?”

She shook her head.  “It’s already eight forty-five tomorrow morning in Singapore and they have press interviews most of the day and the premiere at night.  He’s going to be exhausted so I told him I thought I could survive one night without talking to him.  He needs to get some sleep.  He’s got to be jet lagged to hell and back.”

“Erika,” Greg said sternly as he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the shadows behind his station where he knew they wouldn’t be seen, “you’ve been sneaking out of here every couple of days to go on these walks of yours.  And at all hours of the day and night.  Don’t you think you’re taking a mighty big chance doing that?”

She sighed.  She’d been tag-teamed yesterday by Josh and Chris who both told her that they didn’t like the idea of her roaming the streets alone.  “I walk around the Times Square area, where there are thousands of people wandering about.  I wouldn’t call that being bloody alone!” she’d protested to them.  She leveled a look at Greg.  “Don’t think for one moment that I’m at all pleased with you for tattling to Chris and Josh about my little adventures.”

Greg scoffed.  “Adventures?  Is that what you call these walkabouts?  Erika, you could be seen, or worse, recognized!”

“Really, Gregory, with all this crap I put on my face and the wigs that I use, do you actually think someone is going to look that closely at me and discover that I’m the young Dr. Sheffield who was kidnapped and presumably murdered all those years ago?”

The older man crossed his arms over his chest, a steely, stubborn glint in his eyes.  “You never know.”

She rolled her eyes as she held on to her temper by a thread.  She took a deep breath then let it out slowly.  “Look, Gregory, I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I simply cannot stay down there all the time…not anymore.  I’ve come to rediscover how much I like just walking around and watching the world go by.  And what better place to do that than in Times Square, at any hour of the day?  The area is certainly not as it once was, dingy and dirty and scary with porn theatres and prostitutes and junkies all over the place.  It’s all lights and noise and people, thousands and thousands of people.  I’m careful, Gregory, I’m always careful.  I just can’t stay down there, alone, without my sunshine in human form.  Until he comes back, I’m going to be restless, grumpy…and we both know what I’m like when I’m grumpy.”

Greg sighed.  “Yes, I do.  You are impossible to talk to.  Good thing you’re not often grumpy.”

“But I will be if you don’t let me take my walks,” she said firmly.

Greg opened his mouth to rebut that when he heard his name called from down the hall.  He looked at Erika.  “Don’t you move.  I’ll be right back.”  He stepped out of the darkened alcove and went to see who needed him.  The moment he was a good distance away from her, Erika darted out and slipped through the stage door.

 

“Hey, Greg, good to hear from you!  What’s up?”

“Hi, Chris.  Hey, listen, I’m sorry to bother you – Erika told me you had press interviews and whatnot today…”

“No worries.  You just happened to catch me between interviews.  Speaking to you is a very welcomed change of pace, believe me.  What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s Erika…” the older man began but was cut off by an immediate barrage of questions from Chris.

“What about Erika?  Is she okay?  Did something happen?  Where is she?”

“Okay, okay, calm down, Chris.  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started that way.  Erika is fine, well, at least she was when I last saw her.  She went out for another one of her walks almost two hours ago…”

“And she isn’t back yet?!”

“No.  No, she’s not.  Josh is changing into his street clothes; he’s offered to go out and look for her.”

“Jesus, after two hours she could be anywhere!” Chris exclaimed.  “Damn it, Josh and I told her last night to stop with these walks of hers.”

“I know,” Greg said, “and I told her today when I caught her trying to sneak out but one of the stagehands needed me for something and she slipped out when I wasn’t looking.  She’s always been a sneaky little devil.”

“It’s one of her charms,” Chris said absently.  He stayed quiet for a moment then said, “Do you know if she has her phone with her?”

"She never goes anywhere without it, especially once you left,” Greg replied.  “I’ve tried calling her but she’s not answering.  She did send a text, though, and told me she was fine and that she’d be back soon.  That was forty-five minutes ago.”

“Ah, Jesus, what is going on with her?  I knew she was upset about my not being around but this?  To put herself in danger by going out all the time?  There’s got to be something more to it.”  Chris sighed in frustration.

Greg opened his mouth to speak when he heard Josh coming at him in a rush.  “Greg, Greg!  She’s back!  Erika’s back!”

“Back?  How?  I would have seen her come in through the stage door!”

“I asked her that very question,” Josh said, “and she said she slipped in when you were away from your station, about thirty minutes ago.”

“Thirty minutes ago?  I was…” Greg stopped short.  “I stepped away to help Lucy with a large bag she was trying to drag into the supply closet.  She must have come in then.  Damn.  She’s good at making herself seem invisible.  But why didn’t she let us know she was back?  She had to know we were worried!”

Josh shrugged as he let out a sigh.  “She’s upset.  She knocked just now on the wall of my dressing room that faces that secret corridor and said she was back and she was okay but that she was going back downstairs and didn’t want to be disturbed.  Even muffled by the wall, I could hear how unsteady her voice was and I could tell she’d been crying.”

“Greg!” came Chris’ tinny voice from the phone’s speaker.

“Oh!” Greg started and put the phone back up to his ear.  “Sorry, Chris, I forgot I had you on the line.”

“You called Chris?” Josh asked.  “Oh, man, I was hoping we could spare him this drama until we had no choice but to call him.”

“Greg, lemme talk to Josh.”

Without a word, Greg handed the phone to Josh.  “Hey, bro.”

“What’s going on, Josh?  Have you checked on Erika?”

“She asked not to be disturbed, Chris.  I don’t want to upset her further by not minding her wishes.”

“I understand where you’re coming from, Josh; my mother raised me to be a gentleman, too, but what if she’s hurt or something?  You know the story behind how she came to live in that damn basement…you know how stubborn she can be.”

“Chris…”

“Please, Josh.  Go down there.  Tell her I asked you to do it, just for my peace of mind.  Tell her I can’t speak to her right now because I’m running late for the next interview and I’m about to catch holy hell from the Marvel people.  I won’t be done for another couple of hours.  Ask her if she’ll wait up so she can Skype me.”  Chris paused for a moment, apparently to check his watch.  “Tell her to call me on Skype in two and a half hours.  I’ll be back in my hotel room to rest up before the premiere.  I can talk to her for a little while.  Tell her I’m begging her.  Text me and let me know what she says, okay, Josh?  Please, bro?”  There was a note of desperation – and real fear – in Chris’ voice and Josh melted.

“I’ll head down there now, Chris.  I’ll tell her everything you said…we’ll see what happens.  If she says no, I can’t force her.”

“I know that,” Chris said softly.  “If she does refuse – and there’s always that possibility, given her stubbornness – see if you can at least get her to talk to you.  Then let me know.”

“Will do.  I’m gonna give you back to Greg now.”

“Thanks, bro.”

“Only for you, my man,” Josh said then handed the phone back to Greg.  He squared his shoulders, gave Greg a faint grimace then turned on his heel and headed to Chris’ old dressing room and the secret door leading to the basement.

 

Erika heard the telltale squeal of the hinges of the back door and sighed.  She’d figured it would just be a matter of time before Josh or Greg came down to see her, despite what she’d told Josh about not wanting to be disturbed.  She looked at the glass of Irish whiskey she held in her hand and swirled the amber liquid around a bit.  Moments later, she brought her red-rimmed eyes up to see a nervous but determined Josh step into her little sitting area.  “I wondered how long it would take you to come down here,” she said quietly.

“I wanted to abide by your wishes and leave you alone, despite the fact that I was worried about you, but I’m here on a mission from God, a.k.a. Chris Evans.  He called Greg just as I went over to let Greg know you were back.  He heard our end of the conversation and asked me to come down here and see for myself – and for him – if you were okay.  Are you?  Okay, I mean?”

Erika went back to swirling her drink around her glass and staring at the tiny whirlpool it made.  Josh inched his way over to the love seat and sat down.  A few long moments dragged by before Erika finally sighed and said, “No.  No, I’m not okay.”

Josh nodded slowly.  “All right.  Would you like to share with me why?”

She looked up and into his deep brown eyes and saw nothing but kindness and affection reflected back to her.  She could talk to Josh, almost as freely as she talked to Chris.  “Okay,” she said, nodding, “okay.”  She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “I know you and Chris have been very annoyed with me about these little sojourns I’ve been taking since Chris left but, for the first time in the almost six years I’ve been living down here, I feel restless, stifled…trapped by this,” she waved a hand to indicate her surroundings.  “It doesn’t feel like my sanctuary anymore.  It’s starting to feel like a prison.  And I have your best bud to thank for that.”

“How so?” Josh asked.

“In the few short months we’ve known each other, Chris Evans has brought a light back into my life that’s been missing for six years.  He’s brought laughter and fun and…and… _joy_ , pure unadulterated joy.  It wasn’t until we started communicating via our little war of the roses that I began to realize what I’d been missing being stuck down here, living in fear, hiding away from the world.  I started to want more.  And wanting more is dangerous when you have a bounty on your head.”  She paused to take a sip of her drink.

“But once you start wanting more, it’s like a cancer that takes hold of you.  That want starts to grow and spread until it’s all you can think about.  Every time Chris was down here, that want grew just a little more, but I could contain it because I had him with me, I had him near.  When he left, being down here alone for hours on end without his visits to look forward to became unbearable.  I needed to have something to look forward to so I figured going out into the world every couple of days for an hour or two would calm my nerves, satisfy that want.  And it did…until tonight.”

“What happened tonight?”

“I walked over to Bryant Park.  After the hustle and bustle of Times Square and the theatre district, sitting on a bench in Bryant Park, looking at the little shops and the people walking about, is a nice little respite.  I’ll sit for a while, then walk around the park then head back here.  That’s pretty much been the routine so far.  But tonight, while I was sitting on a bench and watching the people in the park, I…saw someone I used to know, someone I used to be good friends with.  She was a colleague at the hospital.  And she was with someone else I knew, a man who used to hang out with Mira and me whenever we went out to party.  As far as I knew, they’d never met each other; Grace worked with Mira and me but she was kind of reserved and wouldn’t have gone out clubbing with us.  Danny was her polar opposite, a real party boy.  They were together, though, and they were obviously a couple.  They were too far away for me to see if they were wearing wedding bands but there was something I definitely could see – Grace is pregnant.  And Danny is the father, if the way he leaned over and gently rubbed her belly was any indication.  Then it hit me:  they must have met at Mira’s memorial service.  That’s the only place where our work people and our party people would have come together.”  Erika paused again and finished her drink.  She stood up and stepped over to her makeshift bar where she poured herself another drink.  She turned to Josh with the bottle in her hand and waved it at him.  He nodded and she grabbed another glass and poured two fingers of the whiskey into it.  She brought the glass to Josh, who patted the empty seat next to him.  She shrugged then sat.  She turned in the seat to face him, took a sip of her drink then continued.

“Seeing them together made me think that something good came out of what happened to Mira and me.  Grace was so quiet, I never thought she’d find herself a boyfriend.  Danny was kind of wild and crazy but I knew he was a good man with a kind and caring heart.  I can’t even begin to picture what their courtship must have been like but they seemed happy, they seemed content.  And while I was happy for them, I also realized that they had what I wanted.  They had a relationship that was out in the open, that the whole world could see.  They also made me realize how much I’ve missed in the last six years…and how the world really did move on without Mira and me.  Intellectually I’ve always known that but now, confronted with it, it hit me like a ton of bricks…and it fucking broke my heart.”  Erika’s voice cracked on a sob and she quickly downed the rest of her drink.  She moved to stand but Josh set his drink down and put a hand on her thigh to stop her while he gently pulled her glass out of her hand with the other.  Having had drinks with her before, Josh knew Erika could hold her liquor pretty well but he didn’t want her to drown her sorrows in Jameson, not while he was there to listen to her and offer what comfort he could.

“It hurts that I couldn’t be there to watch Danny and Grace’s relationship blossom and grow.  It hurt that I couldn’t go up to them and say, ‘Hey, it’s me!  I’m alive and I’m so happy for the two of you.’  Six years, Josh, six years that I’ve been dead to the world…and dead inside.”  She shook her head.  “Chris gave me back some of what I used to take for granted – conversation, laughter…love.  But as wonderful as he is, and as much as I love him, he can’t give me back all those years that I’ve lost, he can’t give me back the life that was taken away from me.  I’m not ashamed to admit that part of what I felt when I saw Grace and Danny was jealousy.  Pure, unadulterated jealousy.  They lost Mira and me and through that loss, they found each other, and they made what appears to be a happy life together.  And what did I wind up with?  A ruined face, scars all over my body, darkness, solitude, and a continued threat against my life.  I got dealt a shitty hand, Joshua Groban, and it was never clearer to me than it was tonight when I saw Grace and Danny together.”  She shook her head then swiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

“Erika, I’d be the first to agree with you that you were dealt a shitty hand, that what happened to you shouldn’t have happened at all, but you have a chance to start building a new life now.  I know this may sound harsh and I may be talking out of my ass, but maybe you needed to be away from the world for the past six years.  Maybe you needed the time to go through the hell of recovery and then deal with what happened in your own space, in your own time.  I, for one, think you have come out all the stronger and better for it…if you overlook the tiny detail of my not having known you before you were attacked.  From everything you and Chris have told me, you sounded like a pretty awesome young woman before this happened, but you are an even more awesome woman now.  You have to be, if Chris fell in love with you.  He knows what he wants in a woman and he’s been looking for a long time.  When I met him, he was just starting to pull back from the dating scene because he was getting discouraged.  All the girls he met had one thing or another that appealed to him, but not one of them was the total package…until he met you.  Erika, he knew from almost the very beginning that you were the one he’d been looking for, the Cinderella to his Prince Charming, if you will.  And to everyone who knows and loves him, that means you have to be an awesome human being.  And you are.”  Josh paused and took a slow sip of his drink.  “I believe that things happen for a reason, be they good, bad or indifferent.  What happened to you was worse than bad but it led you here, to this point in time, and to the man who is going to do everything in his power to make you happy, who is going to love you until the end of your days.  Isn’t that worth something?”

Erika gazed into Josh’s eyes and saw the truth of his words.  They’d become even closer during the time Chris had been gone and he was always straight with her about everything.  He’d alluded to how deeply Chris felt about her on a number of occasions but this was the first time he really spelled it out for her.  And, he was right.  If she looked past the veil of self-pity she’d let fall over her eyes this evening, she’d see that every word he said was true.  Chris himself had said he had just about given up trying to find his dream girl.  But here he was, a part of her life that she would fight for until her very last breath.  He was the man who made her see past the scars on her face and body, who made her rediscover the person she had been, and who was willing to hold his hand out to her and bring her into the light, despite the inherent danger of being seen with her.  “He’s the real deal, isn’t he, Josh?”

“That he is.  I have friends I’ve known since I was a kid, but even though Chris and I only just met two years ago, he is my closest friend.  He is as close to me as my own brother who, incidentally, happens to be named Chris, as well.  I know how he thinks, I know what is important to him, what he holds dear.  His family means everything to him, as do the friends who have stood by him since before he became famous.  And now, you mean everything to him, too.”  Josh put his glass down and took Erika’s hands in his.  “Sweetie, I know seeing your two old friends together tonight had to have been an enormous shock to you, and I’m not going to say you are not justified in the reactions you had to seeing them, but just as they started a new chapter in their lives after what happened to you and Mira, you’re starting a new chapter too.  It just took you a little longer to finish writing the last chapter.  When you come back out into the light, once the shock of your reappearance passes, the people who were in your life before will fall into two categories:  those who will understand why you went into hiding and will be happy to have you back, and those who won’t stop to think about what you went through and how you’ve survived because they’ll be busy making it about themselves and how you’ve lied to them and made them suffer by allowing them to think you were dead.  Those are the people you should take your proverbial scalpel to and cut them out of your life.  You don’t need them to ruin the very brave steps you’ll be taking to re-establish your life…and enter into Chris’.”  Josh gave her a quick, impish grin.  “Besides, you’re going to have your hands full with the Evans brood and let’s not forget the _Avengers_ cast, they’re like family to him, too.”

Erika gave Josh a soft smile.  “So I’ve heard.  I hope they’re as accepting of me as you’ve been.”

“If Chris loves you, they’ll love you.  I love you, don’t I?”

She laughed and leaned towards him to give him a hug, which Josh gladly returned.  “Yes, you do,” she murmured against his shoulder.  “Neither Christopher nor I could ask for a better friend.  Thank you, Josh, for listening…and for pulling me out of my pool of self-pity.”

“Hey,” Josh whispered, “everyone needs a good-old fashioned wallow from time to time.”

She pulled back, this time with a genuine grin on her face.  “Yes.  Yes, they do.”

 

They talked into the wee hours of the night, until it was time for Erika to place the Skype call to Chris.  Josh told her how worried Chris was and advised her to tell him everything.  “Don’t keep something like this from him, Erika.  He’s always upfront and honest about his feelings and what he’s thinking – hell, half the time, his eyes give him away.  You need to do the same with him.  He needs to know what you’ve been thinking, how you felt when you saw your friends tonight and why that bothered you so much.  Think about it, hon:  he can’t help you if he doesn’t know what’s bothering you.”

Erika agreed.  Ever since she’d called him out on not telling her the real reason he was leaving the show, Chris had been scrupulously honest with her and she really appreciated that.  No dishonesty, no bullshit – that had become their own little mantra.  He held up his end of the bargain; now it was time for her to do the same.

Josh escorted Erika up to his dressing room, where he’d set up her laptop.  As soon as Chris came on the screen, Josh leaned over and gave Erika a smacking kiss then saluted his best friend, grabbed his bag, and left the theatre after exchanging good nights with Greg.

For the next half hour, Erika poured her heart out to Chris, in a much calmer manner this time.  He listened without interruption, patient as ever.  He watched her face as she told her story and could see, even with the slightly grainy picture, how much all this had affected her.

“I’m truly sorry if I caused you any undue stress today, Christopher.  That wasn’t my intention.  It’s just, well, since you’ve been gone, I’ve really needed to fill some of the hours…” she trailed off but Chris heard the words as though she’d said them aloud.  _I’ve needed to fill some of the hours I would have normally spent with you._   “Had I known what I would see,” she continued, “I would have kept my ass down in the basement.”

“No, you wouldn’t have, babe.  You would have just not gone to Bryant Park.  I know you.  When you get something in your head – in this case, taking long walks – dynamite couldn’t get you to let it go.”

Erika smiled sadly.  “You’re right.  And how scary is it that you already know me so well?  I’m beginning to think I’ll have no mystery left to keep you interested.”

“Yeah, right.  That’s not gonna happen.  You are probably the _most_ interesting person I’ve ever met…aside from Robert Downey, Jr., I mean.”

She chuckled.  “It would be something to meet him.  He sounds like a fascinating man.”

Chris grinned.  “He is…and you will.  And sooner than you might think, sweetheart.”

Erika shook her head.  “Not yet.  Not like this,” she said softly as she gestured to her face.

“He won’t care.  None of them will care.  You’re the woman I love, the woman I want to spend my life with; that’s what they’ll see, Erika.  That you were special enough to reel me in, hook, line, and sinker.  That’s something you should really start thinking about.  You’re going to meet my real family soon and then my Marvel family.  They are going to want to accept you as one of their own; you need to allow yourself to be accepted.  That’s just a fact of life, babe…well, at least it’s a fact of our lives.”  Chris reached out a hand and splayed his fingers against his laptop screen.  Erika did the same on her end.  “I’ll be home before you know it, sweetheart.  That’s when we are really going to start our lives together.  I know what you saw today was painful, for many different reasons, but you haven’t lost your chance at having what Grace and Danny have.  You found it.  I’m right here.  I’m that chance.”  He stared at her.  “Tell me you don’t realize that,” he said, a challenge in his voice.

“I do realize that,” she answered softly, “and I thank every deity known to man every day for it, for you.”

“I do the same for you, my love.  I’m lucky to have you.”

She smiled.  “Not as lucky as I am to have you, Christopher.  You’ve helped me rediscover the woman I thought I’d lost that night.  I could have never done that without you.”  She pressed her hand flat against her screen.  Chris mirrored her action.  “I love you, Chris Evans.”

“I love you more.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I've got this thing plotted out, we should be done in a few more chapters but I think I've got some good stuff to give you so stayed tuned.
> 
> By the way, on a happy note, my amazing and wonderful son surprised me with a Schnauzer puppy about ten days ago. He is absolutely adorable and his name is...Marvel.
> 
> Thanks for your continued readership. It means a lot to me.


	15. Let Me Be Your Shelter, Let Me Be Your Light…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris returns from the Civil War press tour; Josh comes up with a life-changing idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A multitude of apologies for the long delay between posts. I was in the middle of writing this chapter when I simply ran out of steam. I've come back to it several times over the past few months, added a line or two or edited some parts of it but I could never finish it. Well, I took a look at it last night, made some changes to the outline I'd made of this and the remaining chapters (which aren't written yet) and suddenly, things made sense and I was finally able to finish this chapter. Trust me when I say the remaining two or three chapters won't be so long in coming.

            The loud squeal of the backdoor’s hinges broke Erika’s intense concentration on the MCAT study guide she was reviewing.  Several days ago, on one of her shorter forays outside the theatre, she’d walked over to the Barnes & Noble store on Fifth Avenue and picked up a few test prep books in the hopes of determining how much different the exam was from when she’d taken it almost a decade ago.  She was taking advantage of the fact that today was Monday and the theatre was dark so Josh wouldn’t be around and Greg had already been asked to leave her to her studies.  So who the hell could be coming in the back way?  Alarmed, Erika pushed back from the table and stood.  A second later she blew out a relieved breath when Josh came into view.  “Jesus, Groban, you scared me.”

            “Sorry, babes, didn’t mean to,” he said with a grin, not looking sorry at all.

            She stared at him, one eyebrow raised high.  “Unless I’ve been in an MCAT-induced coma for the past couple of days, I believe today is Monday – your day off.  What the hell are you doing here?”

            “I’m here to take you to the movies.”  If he’d told her that her face had miraculously healed, she couldn’t have been more surprised.  His grin widened as he watched her eyes go round.

            “The movies?  Josh, what are you talking about?”

            “Your beloved, who should be home in a couple of days by the way, has arranged for us to attend a private screening that is being held for Marvel employees.  He wants us to see the movie so we can gush all over him about it when he gets back.”

            “Oh, um, okay…I guess.”  Erika paused.  “Do you think this is a good idea, Josh?  I mean, it’s one thing when I leave the theatre and walk about alone but to be seen with you…that’s going to raise questions.”

            Josh had been anticipating her reaction.  “First off, no one except the Marvel employees knows about the screening so there won’t be press or photographers or any of that waiting in front of the theatre.  And, I’ve been lucky.  The paparazzi pretty much leave me alone when I’m out and about.  You just do your hair and make-up thing and we should be fine.  Marvel’s rented out a theatre in one of the big multiplexes on 42nd Street so it’s just a hop, skip and a jump from here to there and we should be able to get in and out unnoticed.  Everyone knows how tight Chris and I are so I don’t think anyone is going to be surprised to see me there.  I’m a fan, too, you know!”

            Erika smiled.  “Yes, I know.  You’ve gone on quite a bit about how excited you are for this installment.  Well, so am I.  What time do we need to be there?”

            Josh grinned.  “You’re gonna go?  Willingly?  I’m not going to have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming?”

            “No, you are not.  I’ve been looking forward to seeing the movie just as much as you.  I just figured that it would be Greg and me going to see it on Friday, with the rest of the masses.  Oh, wait.  Poor Greg.  I feel bad that he can’t come with us.  He can’t leave his post…”

            “He’s cool with it.  He’s totally excited about me taking you today and said he’s fine with waiting until Friday.  Don’t worry about it.  It’s all good.”  Josh checked his watch.  “We have to be there in an hour so go work your magic, girl.  I’ll wait here and gag over these test prep things of yours.”

            Erika chuckled as she turned to head to the wardrobe where she kept her make-up and wigs.  Since they didn’t have far to go, she was going to forego the wig and just style her heavy hair so it fell against her scarred cheek.  She felt a fissure of excitement work its way up her spine as she gathered her make-up and brushes.  She was finally going to see her sweetheart up on the big screen; she couldn’t wait!

 

            Forty-five minutes later, Josh and Erika waved goodbye to Greg and left the Booth Theatre.  Greg waited a couple of minutes to make sure they didn’t come back for anything then called down the darkened hallway that led to the dressing rooms, “They’re gone.”  Moments later, he grinned as he watched Chris Evans step out of the darkness, an enormous bouquet of mixed flowers in one hand, a bottle of obscenely expensive champagne in the other.  “Man, is she gonna be shocked to see you.  You’re not supposed to be here until Thursday, at the earliest.”

            “Well, I made it a point to leave the New York premiere and my appearance on Fallon off the itinerary I left with her all those weeks ago.  I knew I wanted to give her a big surprise by coming home to her much earlier than she expected.”  Chris grinned at the older man.  “You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to this reunion!”

            Greg laughed.  “Chris, you are going to blow her mind!”

            “Yep,” Chris said with a huge smile, “those are my intentions exactly!”

 

            Almost three hours later, Josh walked Erika back to the Booth Theatre, saw her inside then, claiming there was somewhere he needed to be, gave her a kiss and took off.  Bemused, Erika merely shrugged and turned to Greg, who was sitting at his station looking rather pleased with himself.  Erika shrugged that off too.  “Hey, sweetie,” he greeted her, “how was the movie?  No spoilers since I intend to see it on Friday but I wanna know if you liked it or not.”

            “Gregory, I did not _like_ it…I bloody _loved_ it!  It was fantastic!  I think this might have been the best _Captain America_ yet, and you know how much I loved the first two!  It was so great!  I can’t wait for you to see it.  I think you’re going to love it too.”

            “Wow!  Now I really am excited to see it.  I’m glad you had a good time.  That was the first time in more than six years that you actually went to a movie.  How did it feel?”

            “I didn’t realize how much I’d missed going to the movies.  It was so fun to sit there with popcorn and candy and enormous sodas and the excellent company that was Josh Groban.  At one point, while we were waiting for the movie to start, he made me laugh so unexpectedly that I almost spit soda out on the poor soul sitting in front of me!”

            Greg laughed.  “Yeah, he’s a handful, that one.  Well, you must be tired, sweetie.  Why don’t you head down and take a nap or something?  I know you were up since early studying those test prep books and now the excitement of going to a movie in an actual theatre, so you’ve gotta be a little pooped out.  You hungry?  You want me to order some food?”

            “Oh, no, not right now,” Erika said.  “I’m still stuffed full of popcorn and candy, unless you’re hungry now.  You can order then just leave my stuff in the fridge in the breakroom.”

            “Nah, I’m not hungry either.  Why don’t you just let me know when you’re ready?”

            Erika nodded.  “I’ll do that.  And, you know, a little nap does sound rather good.  I’m going to head downstairs.  I’ll pop up in a couple of hours and we can decide what we’re going to eat.”  She leaned forward and kissed Greg’s cheek.

            “Sounds like a plan,” the guard said as she watched Erika turn and head toward the freight elevator.  As the elevator doors slid shut, Greg picked up the house phone and rang downstairs.

 

            As Erika reached the lower basement level, she caught herself humming “Moonlight Serenade,” the song she and Chris thought of as theirs.  Surprised and unsure as to why that song suddenly popped into her head, she waited as the elevator doors slid open.  She took a step forward then abruptly halted.  The basement echoed with the strains of “Moonlight Serenade.”  What the…?  She hadn’t been listening to music earlier while she studied so she couldn’t have left her laptop playing.  She blinked then looked around…and that’s when she spotted it.  On the little table by her bed sat an enormous bouquet of mixed flowers, already settled into the beautiful crystal vase Chris had given her two weeks after they’d first started dating.  That phenomenal bouquet could only mean one thing…

            Erika ran through the basement toward her little sitting area, skidding to a halt when she saw him, standing next to her laptop desk, two flutes of champagne in his hands and the widest, most gorgeous smile she’d ever seen on his amazing face.  “Hey, there she is, there’s my beautiful girl.”

            “Oh, my God, Christopher,” she breathed, tears filling her eyes.  Chris had just enough time to put down the champagne flutes before she launched herself into his arms.  “Oh, my God, Christopher!” she repeated as she held him tightly, afraid that if she let go, he would disappear.

            “Oh, sweetheart, it is _so damn good_ to see you.  I missed you something fierce, baby!” he said softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her off her feet.  He held her to him as though he would never let her go.  They held each other for many long moments, neither saying a word, both just breathing the other in and reveling in the feel of their bodies pressed together once more.  Six weeks was such a damn long time.

            Chris finally lowered Erika back onto her feet and pulled away from her enough to look into her happy, tear-stained face.  “Hi, honey, I’m home!” he said with a cheeky grin, his own face wet with tears.

            “You’re such a wanker!” Erika said with a watery laugh.  She took a good long look at him.  “You look absolutely amazing, love.  You got a haircut!  I like it.”

            “Yeah, it was getting a little long.  You haven’t changed one bit, though.  Still as gorgeous as the day I left.”  He brought his hand up and ran it through her long thick hair.  “Man, I missed you, Erika.”  He fisted his hand in her hair and leaned forward to capture her mouth with his in a deep kiss, into which he poured all the longing and desire he’d felt during their separation.

            Erika moaned softly as she returned Chris’ kisses with her own pent-up passion.  Having him in her arms again made her realize just how much she’d truly missed this man and how big a hole his absence had left in her heart.  She pulled away from his intoxicating mouth and whispered huskily, “I’ve missed you, too, my love.  Please, let me show you how much.”  She smiled at the surprise – and pleasure – on his face.

            “What happened to my shy little English rose?” Chris said as he let Erika go and turned to grab the champagne flutes with one hand and the bottle of Dom Perignon with the other.  He chuckled as he watched her beckon him to follow her by crooking her index finger in his direction.  “Oh, I’m coming, sweetheart.  No way I’m turning down an invitation like that.  Not after six weeks of dreaming about getting you on that big comfortable bed of yours.”

            She laughed as she turned and led the way to said big comfortable bed.  Once there, she took the flute Chris offered her and they clinked glasses and drank.  Erika then took Chris’ glass and placed it and her own on the bedside table next to the flowers.  She did the same with the champagne bottle then turned back to Chris and went to work getting him out of his leather jacket and royal blue Henley shirt.  “That color is magnificent on you, love, you should wear it more often,” she said as she pulled the shirt over his head.  She wrinkled her nose at him when he simply laughed and said, “You’re so eager to get it off me, I’m surprised you even noticed the color!”  His laughter faded when she grabbed his belt and yanked him against her.  “There is nothing about you that escapes my notice, my love,” she purred, her English accent heavy.

            “Oh, man, I’ve _really_ missed you, baby,” Chris sighed as he started to remove her sheer white blouse and the black tank top she wore underneath.  In a few moments, they were both completely naked and in each other’s arms, sharing kiss after hot kiss.  Chris maneuvered her onto the bed and began a long, slow exploration of her magnificent body, the body he’d fantasized about and craved every night of the long press tour.  He reveled in the fact that she no longer seemed hesitant or shy with him.  He rejoiced at the long moan she gave when he pressed his mouth against her and slid his tongue into her.  When he brought her over the edge, they were both crying tears of joy.  Then, when she helped him roll on the condom and he slid into her, he truly felt like he’d come home.  Because that was what she was to him – his home.

 

            “So, you have an appearance on the Tonight Show tomorrow evening then a screening of the film the next day?” Erika asked as they sat up in bed and shared a small feast of sushi and sashimi that Greg had ordered for them.

            Chris nodded.  “Then I’m done, babe.  Press tour will officially be over and I’ll have five days free.  Josh and I have a rehearsal next Wednesday morning just to get my feet wet again then I come back to the show on Thursday.”

            “The movie was incredible, by the way.  I loved it.  You were wonderful.  I must tell you, I teared up when I saw you crying whilst you carried Peggy’s casket.  That whole scene was very touching.”

            “Yeah, it was done really well.”

            “What were you thinking about to make you cry so realistically?” she asked him.

            Chris gave a small shrug. "I thought about how much it would actually hurt to lose someone I loved as much as Steve Rogers loved Peggy Carter. I didn't have anyone in my life then - not the way I have you now - but thinking about how Steve and Peggy never got the chance to realize what could have been between them is really sad."

Erika nodded. "It is sad. I was really rooting for them when I watched the first Cap movie. And that scene in Cap 2 where Steve visited Peggy in the nursing home, oh, God, that was simply heartbreaking. You played that beautifully too." She stopped and thought for a moment. "Now that you're so deliriously happy with me, my love," she said, an impish grin forming, "what will you use for motivation in any upcoming sad scenes?"

Chris hesitated, thought for a moment then looked into her eyes.  “I guess I would think about what happened to you and Mira.  I would think about you down here all alone, well, except for Greg, and having to tend to your wounds yourself.  I would think about how scared you must have been, how heartbroken you were over losing your best friend in such a vicious way.  I have to be honest with you, babe...I…I’ve cried about it before, in private.  I never wanted to cry in front of you because I didn’t want to set you off in any way.  Since we got together, you’ve come so far and I didn’t want to upset you or set you back.  But thinking about it usually bothers me enough where I get a little teary so I guess I would use it for a scene.  I…I hope that doesn’t bother you…”

            Erika shook her head then leaned over to kiss him gently.  “No, love, it doesn’t bother me.  If anything, I’m really touched.  Now I'll know why your tears onscreen look so real.”  She gave him a soft smile.  “I love that you’re such a sensitive man with such a good and loving heart.  And I love you.”  She kissed him again.

            “I love you, too, with everything that I am.  And because I love you and want you to be around, well, forever, you and I are driving up to Boston on Friday morning.  My cousin, the doctor, said he’ll make time for us on Saturday morning at his office.  We’ll be the only ones there.”

            Erika sat perfectly still as Chris spoke.  They’d discussed this before he left and she’d given it thought, just as he’d asked, and she’d agreed to it definitively during one of their nightly Skype calls.  But now it was becoming reality and she was actually going to leave her lair and _travel_.  And she was going to…oh, God.  “You’re going to take me to meet your mother and your siblings, aren’t you?”

            Chris arched an eyebrow.  “Well, yes, of course.  I told you I’d take you to Sudbury when we drove up there.  We’ll go up Friday, stay at my loft in Boston since Ron, my cousin, is attached to Massachusetts General and his office is near the hospital, then we’ll go to Sudbury after we see him and stay over until Monday morning, at which time we’ll drive back here.”  He watched her face as he spoke.  “Honey, you’ve had a few weeks to get used to the idea.  I mean, you agreed to it.”

            “Yes, darling, I know but now that it’s actually going to happen, I…well, the idea makes me nervous.”

            Chris lifted his hand and trailed the backs of his fingers along her damaged cheek.  “That’s understandable, Erika, but this is my family.  I’m a product of them and if I can see past the scars to the woman you are inside, so can they.  It’s going to be okay, baby, I promise.”  He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss.

            Erika pulled back from the kiss and gave him a small smile.  “I trust you, Christopher, implicitly.”

 

            Even though Chris had wanted to spend the night, Erika insisted that he go home and get a good night’s sleep in his own bed.  “It’s not that I don’t want you to stay, love, you must know that.  But you just got back last night, you’re probably still jet lagged somewhat, and I would hate to make you get up at some ungodly hour to get you out of here before the morning crew comes in.  We’ll figure something out, and soon, but until then, it’s best that you go home.”

            Chris was letting himself into Josh’s duplex when his best friend’s voice floated out from the living room.  “Didn’t expect you to come home tonight, son.”

            Chris shook his head with amusement as he walked into the room and sat down on the sofa opposite Josh.  “What are you doing up… _Dad_?”

            “I just got off the phone with Kat.  She’s coming up this weekend; she’ll be staying for ten days or so.”

            “Oh, good, she’ll be here when we get back from Boston.  I think it’s time our ladies meet.”

            Josh nodded.  “Agreed.”  He paused.  “Chris,” he said slowly as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, “I have an idea I’d like to run past you.”

            “Uh oh.  This sounds like we’re going to need a beer.”

            Josh chuckled.  “Not really but I wouldn’t say no to one.”

            Chris stood.  “One brew coming up.”  A few moments later, he returned from the kitchen with two open bottles of Stella Artois.  He handed one to Josh then plopped back down on the seat he’d been occupying.  “So, what’s going on in that devious little brain of yours?”

            Josh took a pull from his bottle, thought for a moment then leaned forward again and said, “I’d like you to ask Erika to come live with us.  She’s been doing really well with going out lately and, well, I just hate thinking about her living down in that basement all alone when she could be here, comfortable, safe…and with you.”

            Chris sat, surprise written all over his face, the hand holding his beer frozen half way up to his mouth.  He shook his head as if to clear it then said, very slowly, “You want Erika to move in here.”  Josh nodded.  “With us.”  Josh nodded again.  He watched Chris take a long swallow of beer and said, with a grin, “Was there any part of what I just said that wasn’t clear?”

            “Have you said anything to Erika?”

            Josh shook his head.  “What are you, nuts?  No way was I going to broach the subject with her.  That’s what you’re for.”

            “Gee, thanks.”  Chris shook his head again and sighed.  “It’s not like I haven’t actually thought about it,” he admitted sheepishly to Josh.  “I just didn’t know what she’d say, how she’d react.  Or how you’d react to my asking you, come to think of it.”  He took another quick swig of beer.  “How did she seem today, strolling around out in the open with you?”

            “She was great.  She caught the attention of a few people – guys mostly; you know she’s got that killer figure – but she took it all in stride.  And no one’s gaze, as far as I could tell, lingered on her face.  She’s a whiz with that make-up and with the way she wears her hair, she looked like any other pretty young woman walking along the streets of New York City.  She seemed at ease and…happy, I guess you could say.”

            Chris nodded.  “She did seem to be a in really spectacular mood today.”

            “Dude, that could just be because you’re finally home.”

            “Yeah, no, she was happy to have me with her but there was something else, something deeper.  She was _really_ happy – happier than I’d ever seen her.  She got a little nervous when I mentioned going up to Boston this Friday but she’s still willing to do it.  She does seem to have gotten stronger, bolder, more comfortable with the outside world.”  He paused, lips pursed, lost in thought.  After a few moments, he gave a decisive nod then smiled at Josh.  “I’m going to ask her,” he said.  “Thanks, man, for suggesting it…and for being willing to open up your home to her.”

            Josh smiled and shrugged.  “You know I think of you as a brother, and now I think of her as a sister.  And besides, you guys belong together.  As crazy as you are about each other, it’s just not fair that you should be apart.  I know we’re going to have to keep things quiet for a little while but, Chris, she’s going to have to come clean about who she is.  She’s going to have to go to the cops.  The people that did this to her and her friend are still out there and they should pay for what they did.  And she needs to reconnect with her family.  You know all that, don’t you?”

            Chris nodded slowly.  “It’s been on my mind a lot lately.  And you’re right.  If she and I are going to make a life together, she’s got to go to the authorities, reclaim her life.  When we first move her in here, she can lay low but eventually…”

            “Eventually, you two are going to step out in public and that’s going to touch off the tabloid feeding frenzy and…”

            “She’s gonna be recognized,” Chris finished.  He sighed.  “It’s not going to be easy, is it, Josh?”

            Josh smiled sadly.  “Nothing worth having ever is, Chris.”

 

            On Thursday, after the theatre shut down for the night, Chris came to see Erika.  He was going to spend the night since they decided to leave for Boston at first light on Friday, with a stop for breakfast once they were out of New York.  He also wanted to talk to her about Josh’s invitation.

            While they sat facing each other on the bed, Chris talked to Erika for the better part of an hour, patiently and thoroughly outlining what such a move would entail, what they would have to do to get her “back on the grid,” and why he very much wanted her to accept Josh’s offer.  He’d given the matter a great deal of thought in the days after his conversation with Josh, and he felt completely confident in the “presentation” he was making to Erika.  For her part, Erika sat quietly, watching Chris and listening intently as he laid everything out so carefully.  She never said a word the whole time.

            “Erika, sweetheart, I know it’s not going to be easy, and I know it sounds really, really scary, especially when this basement is all you’ve known for the last six years.  But I think you’ve made excellent strides in coming into the light and, frankly, I want to have you with me.  It’ll be nice to be able to share my space with you, to have you there when I wake up and when I come home, to be able to put my arms around you at night and hold you against me as we fall asleep.”  He paused, nervous about her silence.  “Babe, we’re going to spend this weekend together out in the open – sort of – and it will give you a chance to see what life would be like with me away from here.  Why don’t you think about it while we’re up in Boston and you can give me your decision while we’re driving back down on Monday.  If you decide to take Josh up on his invitation, we can take advantage of the theatre being dark that day and move your stuff out.  I’ll give Josh and Greg the heads up so they can help.  So, think about it, okay?  Sweetheart?”

            Erika took a deep breath, held it then blew it out slowly.  It was the first change in her expression since Chris began talking.  She reached out and took his hands in hers.  “That is quite a lot to think about, darling.  Excellent presentation, by the way,” she said and gave him a cheeky little grin.  Chris smiled back tentatively, clearly nervous.  “Josh’s invitation is most generous,” she continued as she played with his fingers, “and a bit of a surprise but it is a very nice surprise.  I appreciate it tremendously.  I also appreciate you giving me the entire weekend to think about it rather than demand an immediate answer.  It sounds like you’ve been giving this a lot of thought and I imagine you’re going to be on pins and needles until I give you my decision.”  She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against Chris’ lips.

            “However,” she said as she pulled back from their kiss, “I’m not going to be so cruel as to make you wait until Monday for my answer.  I’m going to be honest with you, my love.  I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to become acclimated to the real world again.  I know I’ve been quite bold by going out on my own so often while you were away but I always had this, my sanctuary, to return to.  Nothing had to change so dramatically.  I have been thinking about going out into the light permanently because I want to be with you when you head down to Atlanta to work on the next _Avengers_ movies but I thought I would still have some time to get used to the idea.  I thought that move wouldn’t happen for another few months.  And it’s not just being out in the light.  It’s all the other things you mentioned:  talking to the authorities, having to reclaim my identity…contacting my family in London.  As you said, all of that is really, _really_ scary.”

            Chris could feel his heart plummeting into his stomach.  She didn’t want to go to Josh’s.  She wasn’t ready yet.  “Babe, look, it was just an idea.  Neither Josh nor I want to push you into something you’re not ready for.  You need more time to think and get used to the idea.  I get that.  Just know that Josh’s invitation stands and that when you’re ready, you’ll be welcomed with open arms.”

            Erika smiled.  “Good to know because I am.  Ready, that is.”

            Chris froze.  Did she just say…?  “You’re…ready?  Seriously?  You want to do this?”

            She nodded.  “I do.”

            Chris felt tears well up in his eyes.  Could this actually be happening?  “Honey, are you sure?  Are you actually saying yes?”

            Erika brought Chris’ hands up to her mouth and pressed a kiss against his knuckles.  She raised her tear-filled eyes to meet his.  “Yes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for hanging in there.


	16. Let Me Lead You From Your Solitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in six years, Erika leaves her home for an extended period of time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many, many apologies for the long wait between posts. I guess I just ran out of steam. And that irks me as I have this entire story outlined. However, I've been beta-ing for another writer on AO3 (her handle is StevieAng and her story, You Can't Hurry Love, is really great) and that kind of got the mojo going again. I'm writing the last few chapters now so, hopefully, we'll finally be able to give Chris and Erika their happily ever after (...or will I?) ;-)

            “So, this is the town where you Yanks got ballsy and decided to break free from Mother England?” Erika said with a grin as she watched the streets of Boston go by through the window of Chris’ rental car.

            Chris laughed and said, “Sometimes I forget you’re English.”

            Erika looked affronted.  “With this accent?  Which, mind you, I’ve been very careful to keep from fading.”

            “Oh, so you like sounding superior to everyone else?  Because anything said with a proper English accent sounds brilliant.”

            She snorted.  “That is such bullshit and you know it, Evans.  I just happen to like my accent.  It,” she said softly, “reminds me of home.”

            Chris reached over and took her hand.  “I know, baby.  I can’t imagine how much you must miss London…and your family.”

            Erika gave a small shrug.  “I do miss it and them.  I mean, the original plan was to get my medical license then stay in New York to practice but I had planned to go home and visit every chance I got.  Yes, my parents and I definitely did not see eye to eye on my wanting to stay in the U.S. instead of coming home to practice, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t ever go back to see them.”  She sighed.  “I definitely never meant for them to think I was dead but once I decided to go underground, it was just safer to let the world believe that I’d…” she trailed off.

            Chris squeezed her hand.  “Josh told me something he’d said to you not too long ago.  He said that when you let the world know that you are alive and tell about the circumstances that led to your disappearance, the people who really care about you will understand and be glad to welcome you back.  The ones who get pissed and make it all about themselves rather than you are the ones you should cut out of your life.  I totally agree with that.  If your family and friends back home can’t deal with what happened to you and why you did what you did, you’ll have to find a way to deal with that loss.  But you also need to remember that you have family here – me, Josh, my parents and siblings, my Avengers family.  We’ll all have your back, sweetheart.”

            She shook her head, a slight smile on her face.  “You assume that your blood family and your chosen family will accept me.”

            “Of course they’ll accept you!  Honey, I’ve told you time and again, if I love you, _they’ll_ love you.  What happened to you changed you but since we’ve been together, I think you’ve become more of who you were.  And yes, I have no basis for comparison but you’ve told me enough about yourself and your past for me to see that the overly cautious and frightened young woman who saved my life in January is not the same woman who is sitting beside me right now.  I’ve adored you from the start but that may be because I saw this woman, who you are right now, in you even back then.  That’s who I fell in love with.  That scar on your face doesn’t take away from the absolutely phenomenal woman you truly are.  And everyone in my life will see that.  Trust me, honey, they will.”

            Erika smiled at Chris.  “I love you so much, Christopher.  What did I ever do to deserve an incredible man like you?”

            Chris looked away from the road long enough to give her a wink.  “You saved my life and I’m your reward.  Or booby prize.  However you want to look at it.”  They both laughed.

 

            Erika wandered around Chris’ loft, totally impressed with what she saw.  During the drive to Boston, she wondered what she would find in Chris’ home.  While he was quite neat at the theatre, he could have been an unmitigated slob in his own space.  And he could have been surrounded by what she generously thought of as “bachelor chic.”  But no.  His space was neat and clean, airy and bright, painted in cool blues with white and soft grey accents.  His furniture leaned toward mid-century modern but was comfortable and plush.  His bedroom, also done in blue, white and grey, featured an enormous California king bed with navy blue bedding and a blue and white striped comforter that looked like it would be heaven to lie on.  She suspected that his mother and sisters may have had a say in the decorating but she couldn’t fault him for relying on them.  Their taste, and his, was excellent.  Pity they would only be here one night.

            “You like?” he asked as he came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.  She leaned back against him as she nodded and sighed, “Mmm, yes, this is quite lovely and a nice surprise.  To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

            Chris laughed.  “You were expecting bachelor grunge, I take it?”

            She giggled.  “Something like that.  I should have known better.  Your dressing room is always so neat.  It stands to reason that your home would be the same.”

            “Well,” he said as he nuzzled the back of her head, “it can be a little…chaotic in here from time to time but I try my best to keep the place nice.  Never know when I might bring home a very special lady.”

            “Yes, well, I’m not going to go there,” she said briskly as she pulled away from him.  She flashed him a cheeky grin as he laughed.  “Will we be ordering in while we’re here, my love?  I’m rather hungry…”

            “Would you like to have lunch on Beacon Hill?  There are a lot of nice places to eat.  It’s really beautiful today; we could go somewhere that has outdoor seating.”

            “You do like to live dangerously, don’t you?”

            He reached out and pulled her back against him.  “Honey, we’re in Boston, not New York, and it’s been six years.  Plus, you disguise the scar so perfectly with makeup that it’s hardly noticeable.  Relax, baby; start living again.  Let me take you to this really nice outdoor café I know.  The food is great, the scenery is fantastic and people leave you alone.  You’ll like it, I know you will.”

            Erika stared up into Chris’ beautiful eyes and smiled at the earnestness she saw in them.  He would never purposely steer her wrong and it had been such a long time since she was able to sit outside on a fine day like this and enjoy good food and even better company.  “Really, darling, how could I possibly ever say no to you?”

            Chris grinned.  “You can’t; let’s go!”

 

            Lunch turned out to be more of an event than either Chris or Erika had bargained for.  Just as they ordered a dessert to top off an amazing meal, Chris heard his name being called.  Erika, who’d been holding Chris’ hand on the table, froze and gripped his fingers tightly.  “Chris?” she whispered brokenly, her fear palpable.

            “It’s all right, sweetheart, I promise.”  Chris let go of her hand and turned toward the voice with a grin.  “Hey, Scott!”  He stood just as his brother came up to the table and they shared a tight embrace.

            “Hey, big brother, I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow!”  He pulled away from Chris and turned to smile at Erika.  “You must be the beautiful lady Chris has been gushing over but has refused to tell us anything about.”  He held out his hand to her.  “I’m Scott.”

            Erika, finally able to breathe now that she knew this was Chris’ younger brother, took his hand and was surprised when he brought it up to his lips and kissed her knuckles.  “I’m Erika and it is a pleasure to meet you, Scott.  You’ll join us, yes?”

            “Absolutely!” Scott said as Chris pulled a chair away from an empty table and gave it to his brother.  Scott settled in and put the bags he was carrying between his feet.  He grinned at Erika.  “So, you’re British.  I love your accent.  Have you been in the States long?”

            Erika quickly glanced at Chris then returned her attention to Scott.  “I’ve been here since I was sixteen.  I came here to attend medical school.”

            “Medical school!” Scott exclaimed.  “At sixteen?  You must be a genius!”

            “She is,” Chris said with pride in his voice.

            “Wow,” Scott said, “an honest-to-goodness genius.  So, what the hell are you doing with him?” he asked as he jerked his thumb in his brother’s direction.

            “Hey!”

            Erika burst out laughing and Chris felt a rush of warmth through his body.  It felt wonderful to see Erika let her guard down with someone other than himself, Josh or Greg.

            Giggling, Erika said to Scott, “He’s not so bad once you get past that pretty boy façade!”

            “Et tu, Erika?” Chris asked in a mock-wounded voice.

            “Big bro, she’s ultra cool; let’s keep her,” Scott said with a chuckle.

            “That’s the plan, little brother, that is the plan.” Chris and Erika smiled at each other.

            “So, have you ever been to Boston before?” Scott asked Erika.

            She shook her head.  “I went straight to New York when I left London.  I only went home a couple of times while I was in school and then my residency.  There really wasn’t much time for any other travel.”

            Scott nodded.  “I can imagine.  Man, I’ve never met anyone who went to medical school at such a young age.  I’ve got tons of things I’d love to ask you but that can wait until you’re with us up in Sudbury then you can tell everyone the story all at once and not have to repeat it a million times.”

            Erika threw a nervous glance at Chris.  He responded by covering her hand with his and giving it a reassuring squeeze.  “Well, I don’t know how much there is to tell, Scott.  Being a medical student isn’t all that glamorous.”

            “But being a med student at sixteen is really something else!  But, like I said, you can tell us all about it when we’re at the house.” Scott paused as the waitress stopped by to ask if he wanted anything.  He ordered the same dessert as Chris and Erika and a cappuccino.  He thanked the waitress and immediately turned back to Erika. “How did you and Chris meet?”

            Again, Erika glanced at Chris.  Not expecting to meet anyone Chris knew, they hadn’t yet bothered to put together any kind of cover story.  Chris squeezed Erika’s hand again and answered for her.  “Erika and I met at the theatre after a performance back in January.”

            “Oh, really?  Before or after the mugging?”

            Erika cleared her throat and said, “Just before.”

            “Then Chris was out for a week with the concussion and all that.  How did you get to meet up again once he got back?”

            “I had gotten her number on the night we met and we kept in touch via text and stuff until we were finally able to have our first date,” Chris said.  Erika heaved an internal sigh of relief.  It wasn’t a lie, exactly.  Regardless, as nervous as she was as that moment, she doubted she could have come up with an answer as quickly as Chris did.  God bless his acting skills.  “So, Scott, what brings you into the city today?” Chris continued, deftly changing the subject.  “What’s in those bags?  Anything that might accidentally find its way into my luggage?”

            “Uh-uh, don’t even think about it!” Scott said, narrowing his eyes at Chris.  “Don’t think I didn’t realize a couple of my sweaters went missing after your last visit.”  Now that was interesting.  Chris borrowed Scott’s clothes?  Erika didn’t think that would be possible.  While Scott was in good shape, his physique was nothing like his brother’s.

            “Oh, come on!” Chris said, his Boston accent finally creeping into his speech, much to Erika’s delight.  “You hardly wore those cardigans!”

            “And wouldn’t be able to now since you probably stretched them out across the back and shoulders!”

            Chris rolled his eyes.  “Fine, I’ll buy you a couple of new ones.  Happy now?”

            Scott smiled smugly as he winked at Erika.  “Just have your wallet available, Christopher; the afternoon is still young and I think we should take your lovely lady here on a quick tour around the city.  I’m sure she’d love to see some of our finer shopping venues.”

            “You mean, _you’d_ love to see some of our finer shopping venues,” Chris declared.

            “Now, now, let’s not make this all about me,” Scott snarked at his brother.

            “Boys, boys, let’s make nice here,” Erika said sweetly, desperately fighting back a laugh at the Evans brothers’ antics, “a stroll around the city to take in the sights _and_ do some shopping sounds perfect.  I’m game!”

            “Oh, yeah, she’s perfect, Chris.  Much too good for you.  I may make a play for her myself.”

            “You don’t play for my team, remember?”

            “Go with the flow, big brother.  Exceptions can always be made,” Scott said as he leaned over and kissed Erika’s cheek.  Thank God he was sitting to her left.  He frowned a little as he pulled away.  “Aren’t you uncomfortable wearing foundation _and_ powder on such a warm day, Erika?”

            She could feel her eyes widen at his comment.  “Oh, uh…erm…I, I,” she stammered, “I wear it for the, what do you call it?  The, um, the SPF!  Yes, that’s it!  I wear foundation and powder when I know I’m going to spend time outdoors.  I find it works better than regular sunscreen for keeping me from becoming, you know, ‘Lobster Face.’  It’s an English thing, you know…old habits die hard…” she trailed off.

            “Right, right, I guess we get a lot more sun over here than across the Atlantic.  The UV rays are probably stronger, too.  Why don’t you just wear a hat?  I bet you’d look great in a big ol’ sunhat, just like a southern belle!  What do you use on your arms, though?”

            _Oh good God,_ she thought wildly.  “Oh, uh, I’m not a big fan of those types of hats, I’m afraid. Too Scarlet O’Hara for my taste.  And the sun always does such interesting things to my hair color so I don’t cover it up.  As for my arms, I use regular sunscreen…since I tend to wear half and three-quarter length sleeves most of the time.”  He would find out soon enough that she wore sleeves most of the time to cover the scars on her arms.

            The timely arrival of the waitress with their desserts and coffees derailed any further questions by Scott.  Erika could feel her heart pounding a mile a minute in her chest.  She looked up at Chris over the rim of her coffee cup and saw the apology in his eyes.  Scott was a nosy bugger but he never meant any harm by it.  Chris figured, knowing his brother, that Scott would apologize for his mini-inquisition once he found out the real reasons why Erika wore makeup and longish sleeves on warm days like this.

 

            Erika and the Evans brothers spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the streets of Boston.  The boys pointed out all the points of interest in between stops at some very fine boutiques and stores.  Prior to leaving New York, Erika had transferred money from the accounts she held in Greg’s name to Chris’ checking account in anticipation of buying a few things while in Boston.  It had been a very long time since she’d been shopping and her inner girly girl was jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of getting some new clothes. Chris had protested when she asked for his banking information – he told her that he was more than capable of buying her whatever she wanted and that it would be his pleasure to purchase new clothes for her. She’d simply given him that look he knew all too well – the one that said she wasn’t going to budge, no matter how much he begged and pleaded. Chris had learned early on that no one could stonewall him quite like Erika. The girl had a will of iron. Given what she’d been through, he supposed she had to have one. So, with a sigh of resignation, he wrote down his information and handed it over. By the time she was done with the transfers, his account was ten thousand dollars richer, and at the rate she was going that afternoon in Boston, she was hellbent on spending all of it.

            “Don’t look now, big brother,” Scott whispered to Chris at one boutique, “but your debit card is about to melt. She’s got exquisite, but expensive, taste.”

            Chris shrugged as he watched his girl have an animated debate with the saleswoman about the merits of one pair of pants over another. “It’s her money; she can do whatever she wants.”

            Scott frowned. “If it’s her money, why are you using your debit card? Whoa, do you guys have a joint account already?”

            “No, it’s her money, she just put it into my account…” Chris started to explain then realized how it sounded. Scott was going to ask a lot of questions.

            As if on cue, Scott said, “I don’t understand.  If she has money, why doesn’t she have her own account?”

            Chris heaved an internal sigh. “Scottie, look, it’s a long story and it’s really complicated. We’ll tell you all about it when we’re up in Sudbury tomorrow afternoon, I promise. Till then, do you think you can maybe hold off on the questions? Please?”

            Scott frowned and gave Chris a look but he stopped asking questions, even though he was dying of curiosity.  But he knew his brother: when he wanted to, Chris could be as immovable as a boulder, and if he didn’t want to talk about something, one just had to leave it at that and walk away. Scott looked over at Erika, who’d apparently decided to take both pairs of pants. There was something going on here; Erika really didn’t seem to like to talk about herself. She managed to sidestep a number of Scott’s questions and was brilliant at turning the conversation back on them and off of herself. She was a great conversationalist, though, and a bona fide geek: she soaked up all the Boston history they fed her like a sponge. Still, there was an air of mystery about her and both she and Chris were careful to keep it that way. Scott couldn’t remember Chris ever being this tight-lipped about any of his girlfriends, especially one he was so completely into. Scott could plainly see that Erika owned Chris, heart, mind, body, and soul – he was nuts about her – and it was obvious she felt the same way about him. She clearly had a very bad case of hero worship when it came to Chris. It was evident in the way she looked at him when his attention was elsewhere. There was a very interesting story behind Chris and Erika’s relationship and Scott couldn’t wait to hear it.

            The trio had dinner at a tiny Italian restaurant on Boston’s North Side then they grabbed a cab, dropped Scott off at his car with reminders that they would be in Sudbury in the early afternoon the next day, and headed back to Chris’ loft. When they arrived in front of his building, Erika paid the fare while Chris got out to retrieve their packages from the trunk. She stepped out of the cab and had to laugh when she saw poor Chris weighed down with over a dozen bags, most of which were hers. She had most certainly made a dent in the ten grand she’d put into Chris’ checking account, and she planned to do more damage tomorrow after they saw the doctor and before they hit the road to Sudbury. She wanted to pick up a few gifts for Chris’ family. Her mother had taught her to never arrive for a first visit empty handed. She just hadn’t told Chris about her plan yet.

            They stepped into the loft and Chris said, “Honey, I’m just going to put these on the sofa, okay? We can sort it all out later.”

            “Oh, well, I was going to put as much as I could into my suitcase now. I was also going to pull out what I’m wearing tomorrow. Um, are we coming here before we head back to New York on Monday?”

            Chris stepped over to Erika and put his arms around her. “First of all, you don’t have enough room in your suitcase for all the stuff you bought today. Just sayin’. I was thinking of putting all those bags in the trunk of the rental and taking it with us to Sudbury.  I have a suitcase you can borrow over there. And no, I wasn’t planning on coming back here on Monday. I was just going to head to New York straight from Sudbury. Unless, of course, Dr. Ron says we have to come back for something.  Barring that, we’ll drive straight to the theatre, meet up with Josh and Greg and bring the rest of your stuff to Josh’s house.  He’s renting a car for the day so he can carry whatever doesn’t fit in my car.” He paused as he brushed a kiss across Erika’s forehead. “Does all that sound okay to you, babe?”

            “Oh, yes, yes, it sounds fine, my love,” she answered in a rather absent way.

            Chris narrowed his eyes at her. She seemed distracted. “Talk to me, babe. What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

            Erika sighed. Chris could read her like a book. She didn’t know if that was flattering or scary. “It was difficult for you to be so…opaque with your brother today, wasn’t it?”

            He smiled. Erika knew him too well. “Scott and I are very tight; it’s as if we can read each other’s minds. He knew something was up about you and me, and it _was_ hard to not just blurt the whole story out to him. After he came out to me, we vowed to never keep secrets from each other. So, yeah, today was difficult.”

            “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m sorry I put you in such a position…”

            “Nope, no way, none of that. You have nothing to be sorry about, Erika. None of this is your fault, not one thing. We agreed that we would tell my family together, all at once. That’s easier on you – on both of us – than having to explain it over and over again. As it is, we’re going to have to tell the story at least twice tomorrow.  Ron has to know everything so he knows what to look for. Then we tell my family. We’re going to have to tell my father eventually but that can wait a bit.”

            “Should it, Chris? Should we wait to tell your father? He might not like that. Do you think…well, should we…” Erika trailed off, a look of apprehension on her face.

            “Honey, don’t do that. Whatever you’re thinking, just put it out there.”

            “Do your parents get along? I mean, would your mother object to having your father over tomorrow, so he can hear the story at the same time as the rest of the family?”

            Chris mulled that over for a moment. “They get along. I mean, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses between them at the beginning but they’re cool now.” He shrugged then stepped away from Erika. “I kinda like your idea. Let’s call Mom.” Before Erika could say anything, Chris pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. He put the call on speaker as he grabbed Erika’s hand and towed her over to the counter that separated the kitchen from the living area.  He gestured for her to sit on one of the stools as they heard his mother say, “Chris, honey! I was wondering if you were going to call me tonight.”

            “Hey, Mom, how are you? It’s good to talk to you.”

            “Oh, I’m better now that I’m hearing from my baby and it’s great to talk to you too.”

            “Speaking of babies, Scott’s driving up to Sudbury as we speak.”

            Lisa Evans laughed. “Scott called me from the road already. He said the roads were pretty clear for a Friday evening and that he should be home soon. He also told me a little about a beautiful young Englishwoman you were with. A doctor, no less.”

            “FYI, you’re on speaker, Mom.”

            “I figured as much. Hello there, Erika. I’m really looking forward to meeting you. Scott couldn’t quite stop gushing about you. I actually heard more about you from him than from your boyfriend.”

            “Good evening, Mrs. Evans. I look forward to meeting you, as well. Bumping into Scott today was quite unexpected. He’s a really lovely man; both of your sons are.”

            “Thank you, sweetheart. And please, my name is Lisa and I expect you to call me that. I absolutely love your accent. Where in England are you from?”

            “London. I grew up in Knightsbridge.”

            “Wow! That’s kind of – how do you say it? – kind of posh! Is that the right word?”

            Erika chuckled. “Yes, that’s the right word. My family is…quite wealthy. We’re all doctors. My father is a cardiologist – one of the best in Great Britain. My mother is a pediatric pulmonologist. I was, er, I mean, I am an emergency trauma surgeon. My older brothers have both followed in my father’s footsteps and my youngest sibling, my sister, she’s…” Did Maggie ever go to medical school? She hadn’t yet graduated from university when Erika went into hiding but she’d planned to become a psychiatrist. “Maggie’s always been interested in how the human mind works so psychiatry was her thing.”

            “That is a really impressive thing. All six of you, doctors. Have you been back home recently?”

            Erika gave Chris a deer-in-the-headlights look. Good God, was everyone in his family this inquisitive? “Um, no, I haven’t been in…a long while…work’s been…busy.”

            “Hey, Mom, what say we save the inquisition for tomorrow, okay? I called to ask _you_ something, not for you to give my girl the third degree,” Chris said with a laugh.

            “Now, really, Christopher, I was just trying to get to know Erika…”

            “Well, that’s what our visit tomorrow is for. We’ve got lots to talk about, which brings me to the main reason for my call. Would you mind if Dad joined us tomorrow afternoon, so he can meet Erika when you guys do? I mean, obviously, depending on whether he’s available…”

            Lisa frowned. This was an odd request. While she and Robert got along well enough, it was unusual for Chris to ask that he be invited over. Well, Scott did say there was something unusual going on with Chris and his new girlfriend. He wasn’t sure but he told Lisa he thought he’d caught a glimpse of a few faded scars on Erika’s arms and what looked like a very well disguised scar on the right side of her face. She was absolutely gorgeous, Scott said, scar or no scar, but she did tend to keep her right side away from him. She didn’t seem to have a problem letting Chris touch her right cheek, though, which he tended to do whenever he leaned in for a kiss. Erika was Chris’ mystery girl, in more ways than one, it seemed. “Sure, honey, if Robert’s available and wants to come over, that’s fine with me.”

            “Great! I’ll give him a call right now. Erika and I have a couple of things to do tomorrow morning but we should be up in Sudbury by two o’clock, at the latest. If we get held up, I’ll give you a call. I can’t wait to see you and the family, Mom.”

            “And we’re anxious to have you here and to meet Erika. And Erika, honey, I’m sorry if I came off as being nosy. I’m just excited to get to know you.”

            “Oh, no, Lisa, that’s perfectly all right. I just…I’m a bit of a private person, you see. But you’ve no need to apologize. If I were in your shoes, I’d be curious about my son’s new girlfriend, too.”

            “Aw, you’re a sweetie. I look forward to sitting down and getting to know you tomorrow. Well, you two have a good night and we’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. Oh, and Chris? Just shoot me a text to let me know what your father says, okay?”

            “Will do, Mom. See you tomorrow. Love you!”

            “Love you, too, baby boy. Goodnight, Erika.”

            “Goodnight, Lisa.”

            Chris ended the call then quickly dialed his father. Again, he put the call on speaker.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey, Dad, it’s Chris.”

            “Christopher! How are you, son? It’s good to hear from you. How was the press tour?”

            “Long. I’m good, though. It’s good talking to you, Dad. Sorry I haven’t been in touch more. Life’s been crazy busy.”

            “Oh, I’m sure. And no worries. I’m sure I’ll see you next time you’re up this way.”

            “Well, as a matter of fact, Dad, I’m in Boston right now. I’m heading up to Sudbury tomorrow afternoon. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind coming over to Mom’s house for a little bit. I want you to meet my new girlfriend at the same time as the rest of the family.”

            “You’ve got a new girlfriend? Your siblings never mentioned anything to me.”

            “Um, that’s because they don’t have anything to tell. Erika and I have only been together four months or so and, well, there’s a lot to tell and rather than repeating it over and over, she and I would like to just tell the tale once and be done with it.”

            “Is everything all right, son?” Robert sounded concerned. “She’s not, well, pregnant, is she? Are you sure she’s not trying to rope you in because of who you are?”

            “Oh, for the love of all that’s good and holy!” Erika blurted out, forgetting that the call was on speaker. She slid off the stool and stalked away.

            “Oh, Jesus, Dad, I forgot to mention the call was on speaker. I don’t keep anything from Erika.”

            “Oh, God, son, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry if I offended her.” Robert paused. “But are you sure she’s not…”

            “She’s not what? A gold digger? No, Dad, Erika is a trauma surgeon who comes from a family of doctors. She’s got plenty of money of her own. She certainly doesn’t need mine.  And no, she’s not pregnant. I love her and I would like to have kids with her but not right now.”

            “Well, I’m really sorry. I hope she doesn’t think ill of me. You’re my son and I love you and I’m just looking out for you.”

            “She knows, Dad, she understands. She’s just tired and stressed out but she’ll be okay. So, can you make it to Mom’s tomorrow, around two p.m.?”

            “Uh, yeah, that should be fine. The kids have activities tomorrow but it’s nothing Shelly can’t handle on her own. I can make it to Lisa’s for two.”

            “Great. How are Shelly and the kids?”

            “Everyone’s good. Do you think you’ll have a little time to stop by and see them while you’re here?”

            “I’ll see about stopping by early Sunday evening. Erika and I are driving back to New York on Monday morning and I go back to the show later this week so it will be awhile before I can get back up here again.”

            “Okay, that sounds good. I won’t say anything to them, though, just in case. Well, son, I’ll see you tomorrow at your mom’s. Please apologize to Erika for me. Have a good night. Love you, son.”

            “You have a good night, too, Dad. Love you.” Chris ended the call then went looking for Erika. He found her sprawled out on his bed. “Hey, babe,” he said softly as he walked over and climbed onto the bed to lie next to her.

            “I’m sorry I overreacted like that, Christopher,” she said, her voice shaky. Chris turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. He saw tear tracks going through what was left of Erika’s makeup.

            “Aw, babe, there’s no need to cry. My dad didn’t mean to insult you. He wants me to apologize to you for him. He just worries that people will try to take advantage of me because of who I am.”

            “Doesn’t he know that you’re smarter than that, Chris?” Erika said as she turned on her side to face him.

            Chris let a small, sad smile cross his face as he lifted his free hand and caressed Erika’s cheek. “I can’t help but think that his concern might have its nexus in what happened between him and my mother. Shelly, my stepmother, is what I guess you’d call the quintessential ‘other woman.’ Dad left my mother for her. Shelly is younger than Mom and a lot of people did think that she just wanted my father because he’s a successful dentist and stuff like that.  I know hearing that bothered him and I’m pretty sure he’s wondered about that himself. But they’re happy; they’ve got three great kids together. But I’m sure he worries that with my success, there might be a young woman, or two or three, who aren’t on the up and up and who only want to get with me because of my career and my money.”

            “You are so much more than all that, my love. And I think at this stage in your life, and career, you can tell if someone sincerely wants you for you, for who you are, for the amazing person you are behind the incredible looks and to-die-for physique…and yeah, the fat bank account.” She broke into a cheeky grin and Chris felt a happy warmth float through him. “Remember, I saw your banking information.” She leaned toward him and gave him a gentle kiss. “Do you know what I see when I look at you, my love?” Chris shook his head. “I see the man who saved my life. I see the man who wanted to get to know me without even having seen me. I see the man who still fell in love with me even after he saw me because he is the type of man who puts more emphasis on what’s inside a person than what one sees on the outside. I see the man who stirs my soul with a look, a simple touch. I see the man who is, and always will be, my hero. Your fame, your fortune…it could all be gone tomorrow but your heart and soul and that goodness you carry inside you, that will always remain. That’s what I want. I want that Chris Evans. I have that Chris Evans…and I’m never letting him go.”

            Chris put his arms around Erika and pulled her up against him.  “I’ve been waiting for you all my life, Erika. And now that I found you, I’m never letting you go, either. I love you. If I’m never sure of anything else, I’ll always be sure about that.” He paused. “I know you took on the name Erika after the…event. But have you thought of a last name?”

            Erika gave him a puzzled look then shook her head. “Uh, no. I hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. I guess I figured I would think about that – and where I was going to live – once Gregory announced his retirement from the theatre. At one point, not too long ago, Gregory said that maybe I could come live with him – he would tell people I was his niece from the Midwest or something since I can mimic an American accent, as you know. He hasn’t brought it up since…come to think of it, I met you not too long after we had that conversation. Maybe he realized something about us long before we, or rather I, did. Why do you ask?”

            “Well,” Chris said softly, hesitantly, “I was thinking maybe you’d like to share mine.”

            Erika stared at him. Was that a proposal? That sounded an awful lot like a proposal. “Christopher, are you…are you asking me…to marry you?”

            He gave her a rueful smile. “That kind of sounded like a proposal, didn’t it? I guess…well, yeah…yes. Yes, it was a proposal. Erika, I love you. I can’t see my future without you in it. I know we’ve only been together a short time but,” he gave a nervous little shrug, “I know what I feel, I know what I want, and I want a life with you. Marry me, Erika, and take my name. It’s yours for the asking.”

            Erika brought her hand up and trailed her fingers along the side of Chris’ face then she traced his full lips as her mind whirled with all the possibilities before her. She loved this man with her whole heart and soul and she knew she would never find a better person to spend her life with. But there were still so many uncertainties in her life; there was so much that needed to be dealt with, and until she had her place back amongst the living, until she was free to be Frances Elizabeth Sheffield again, she didn’t want to complicate things further for either of them. “Christopher,” she whispered, “I want very much to be your wife and take your name but not now…not yet.  The time isn’t right at this moment, for so many reasons, but it will be. And when it is, I will marry you anytime and anywhere you want. I promise you that, my love.”

            Chris looked hurt for a brief moment but then he nodded and gave her a quick smile. “I understand, sweetheart, I really do. But I’m going to hold you to that promise, understand?”

            She smiled as she leaned toward him. “Yes, love, I understand.” She kissed him, soft and slow until Chris took over the kiss and their passion flared, hot and bright. They undressed each other quickly and made love several times until the long day finally caught up with them and they fell asleep curled up in each other’s arms.

 

            Despite her serious apprehension about going to see his cousin, Dr. Ron Santoro, the visit went better than either Chris or Erika had expected. Ron was aghast at Erika’s story and he actually teared up as he examined the scars on Erika’s face and body. He understood that she was nervous, and he was as gentle with her as possible. He even allowed Chris to be in the examining room the whole time. He knew Erika wouldn’t want him to be out of her sight for one moment. After assuring them both that he would personally handle all of the paperwork, he took samples of Erika’s blood and shot a number of x-rays himself. Once Erika was dressed and she and Chris were back in his office, Ron told them he didn’t see anything unusual in the x-rays and that her pelvic and rectal exams were normal. “If you two are thinking of having kids down the road,” Ron said, “I don’t see anything that would say you couldn’t, Erika, but it would be a good idea for you to eventually see a gynecologist and maybe a fertility specialist, just to be absolutely sure. As for your bloodwork, I’ll drop it off at the lab myself later today and tell them to put a rush on it. They owe me a couple of favors down there,” he said with a grin. “I should have the results by Monday afternoon. I’ll call you and read them to you since you’ll probably be back in New York by then.”

            Chris, who’d been so tense he was feeling the strain along his neck and shoulders, finally relaxed and almost slumped in his chair. “Thanks, Ron, that’s all really good to know. But, just one last thing…”

            “What’s that, Chris?”

            Chris looked over at Erika. She met his eyes then ducked her head and looked away. He looked back at his cousin. “Ron, can anything be done about the scars on Erika’s face?”

            Ron looked at Chris then at Erika. “Erika,” he said quietly then waited until she looked up at him. “Do you trust me?”

            She frowned slightly at the question but nodded. “Yes, of course. You’ve been quite wonderful to me, to us, this morning. I trust you.”

            “Good,” Ron said as he reached for his desk phone. Both Chris and Erika looked alarmed. Ron smiled. “Don’t worry, please. I know what I’m doing.” He dialed a number then sat back in his chair as he waited for the call to connect.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey, Bill? It’s Ron Santoro. How are you, buddy?”

            “Hey, Ronnie! Good to hear from you! How’s it going?”

            “Good, good. Listen, are you in the building right now?”

            “Yeah, I am. How’d you know?”

            “Takes a workaholic to know a workaholic,” Ron said with a laugh. “I know you’re probably here to catch up on paperwork and stuff, but I was wondering if I could ask you to come down to my office for a few minutes? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about and there’s someone I’d like for you to meet. But this is very, very confidential. Totally hush hush.”

            “Yeah, huh? And why is that?”

            “It has to do with my cousin, Chris Evans.”

            “Captain America, huh? Is he there right now?”

            “He is.”

            “Cool. I’d love to meet him. I’ll be down in a couple of minutes.”

            “Great, Bill, thanks. Oh, and bring your camera.”

            “Will do.”

            Ron hung up his phone and grinned at the two wary faces in front of him. “Dr. William Ashford is the top plastic surgeon at Massachusetts General. I trust him completely. He knows how to be discrete. And if _he_ doesn’t think anything can be done to erase those scars, then nothing can be done. He is the best of the best. I wouldn’t steer you wrong, Erika.”

            Erika took a deep breath then exhaled slowly. “I’ve heard of Dr. Ashford. His reputation precedes him. Like you said, if he can’t fix these scars, there probably isn’t anyone who can.”

            Chris squeezed Erika’s hand. “Let’s keep the faith, baby, okay?”

            Erika looked at Chris and smiled. “Of course, my love.”

 

            Chris stifled his grin as he listened to an animated Erika tell Greg and Josh, via conference call through the car’s bluetooth, all about her consultation with Dr. Ashford. “It’s going to take some work, meaning multiple procedures, but he thinks he can do something about most, if not all, of the scars on my cheek and arms! Oh, my God, guys, do you know what that means? I may actually look normal again one day.”

            “You look normal now,” Chris said.

            Erika scoffed. “Spoken like the dutiful boyfriend that you are.”

            Both Greg and Josh laughed. “That’s really wonderful news, Erika,” Josh said. “Did you guys talk about when you might have the first procedure done?”

            “I’ve decided to wait until Christopher is done with the show. He says he’ll have some time between then and when he has to report to the set for _Avengers_ so we’ll come up here and have it done and I can recuperate at Chris’ condo.”

            “Sounds like a good plan, sweetie,” Greg said. He was pleased to hear Erika so happy. She’d long thought that nothing could be done about her face. He was relieved she was just proven wrong.

            “So, you’re going to meet the parents, huh, Erika? Are you terrified yet?” Josh asked with a laugh.

            “Since the day I agreed to this,” she replied, earning an undignified snort from her significant other. She glanced at him. “Okay, Christopher, tell me that if our positions were reversed and we were flying to England for you to meet my family, you wouldn’t be petrified.” Chris decided the best course of action was to keep his attention on the road. Erika smirked. “That’s what I thought.”

            “Meeting the parents is completely nerve-wracking,” Greg said with a chuckle. “I remember when I met my wife’s folks. I’d just gotten out of a stint with the Marines and I thought I was a complete badass. Meeting her mom and dad was going to be a piece of cake. That is, until I met her father. He was a former Marine, too, but I already knew that. What my darling wife neglected to mention was that he was six foot five and two hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle. And he’d been a drill sergeant on Parris Island. I think I got my first gray hairs the moment I met him.”

            Chris, Erika and Josh laughed. “How did he take to you?” Chris asked.

            “Believe it or not, we got on like a house on fire. He’s a really terrific guy. And my mother-in-law is a real sweetheart. They came up to New York to stay with me after Linda and the boys…after the accident. I was a mess, as you can imagine, so between the Austins and my own parents, things got done. Linda’s folks and mine got along so well that when my mom and dad decided to move down south after they sold their business, they bought a house a few doors down from the Austins. Feels good when I go down to visit and I have all four of them there.”

            “That’s lovely, Gregory. I am a bit nervous but if the rest of the Evanses are anything like Chris and Scott, I should be fine. Scott was wonderful to me.”

            “They’re all going to be wonderful to you, sweetheart,” Chris said. “And you may want to wrap this up since we’re almost there.”

            “And the hour of reckoning is at hand,” Josh intoned, dropping his voice into a baritone.

            “Very funny, Joshua,” Erika said.

            “It’ll be fine. Chris’s family is the best. I love ‘em all to pieces. You will, too,” Josh said sincerely.

            “Good luck, sweetie. And enjoy the rest of your time up in Boston. This is your first trip in six years; make the most of it.”

            “Thank you, Greg, I will. And thank you, Josh. I love you both.”

            “We’ll give you guys a call on Sunday evening,” Chris said, “then again on Monday while we’re on the road. Josh, are you still going to rent a car to help us move?”

            “Absolutely. I’m picking it up tomorrow after the matinee.”

            “Great. We’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.” Chris flipped on the turn signal; they were about to turn onto his mother’s street.

            “Bye, you two. Love you both,” Josh said as he rang off.

            “Remember, Erika, you’re gonna do great,” Greg said. “Love you, kiddo. Talk to you tomorrow. See ya, Chris.”

            “Bye, Greg,” Chris and Erika said in unison. Chris made the turn and drove past the older but well-maintained houses in his mother’s neighborhood. He took a quick glance at Erika. “You okay, babe?” he asked softly.

            “I won’t lie to you, love. I feel like I have an army of butterflies in my belly but as long as you don’t leave my side, I’ll be okay.”

            “I’m going to be right there with you, every step of the way. I’ll even go to the bathroom with you when you go wash your makeup off.” Erika had not worn makeup to go to the doctor that morning but had asked Chris to take her back to his condo before going shopping then heading up to Sudbury. She wanted to do her face so she could feel comfortable while in the stores and the initial meeting with his family. Chris asked her to wash her face once they got to his mom’s house so that his family could see the real her while she told her story. Erika was nervous about it but it made sense to do it. Besides, she could never say no to Chris.

            “Having you there with me is the only way I’ll be able to get through this. It’s hard to believe I’ve already recounted this story twice today, although the version I told Dr. Ashford was heavily abbreviated.” She gave a quiet sigh. “God knows how many more times over the next few months I’ll have to tell this story. It seems like soon the whole world is going to know. That’s a rather scary thought.”

            Chris slowed down then turned into a long driveway – his mother’s house was set well back from the street. He pulled up behind a late model SUV. “Looks like my dad’s already here,” he murmured to himself. He shut off the ignition then turned to Erika. “Sweetheart, listen, I know the thought of the world finding out that you’ve been alive all these years is scary, for a great many reasons, but I am going to go through this with you. Baby, you aren’t going to face this alone. You’ll have me by your side but you’re also going to have Josh and Greg and every person in that house,” he pointed towards his mother’s place, “at your back. We’ve got you. You can do this.”

            Erika nodded. “I love you so much, Chris.” She gave him a bright smile, despite her nerves. “Let’s do this.”

            “I love you, too, babe. Come on, let’s go meet the family.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, a cliffhanger. Yes, I am an evil bee-yotch.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think of this. Comments = love!
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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